???? From Screen-Saturated to Screen-Free: A Completely Pragmatic Summer Transformation Guide????

Hello Moms and Dads! ?? Join us in a refreshingly transformative, screen-free summer for our precious kiddos. Those drab piles of soldered circuits have been crowding out the wonders of real-world mud for far too long.

That said, going cold turkey is simply not advised when it comes to transitioning to a screen-free summer. The dopamine loops warrant a bit of transition time.

Never fear!

Below are alarmingly simple activities to take down the tyranny of screens and break the stranglehold of the Internet once and for all! ????

Warm up your glue guns, your soldering irons, and your can-do spirits for the best summer eva!

The Transition to Screen Free

Take each of these step one day at a time, or more if needed. Screen usage is a personal choice, so you have to do what’s right for your family.?

1. Stop charging devices for your kids. It is their responsibility to remember to charge them.?
2. As they more consistently plug in the devices, surreptitiously unplug them to keep the battery low. (“Oh no! It must’ve been Fido when he had the zoomies!”)?
3. Gift the kiddos hand-crank USB chargers. You’ll be prepared for when the power goes out AND your kids can build strong wrists. Bonus: splurge for the chargers that also have a built-in flashlight so the kids can read books under the covers. Squeee!?
4. Say goodbye to the Internet with a DIY Faraday cage for your router to create an impenetrable dead zone. Make the project a family affair! Not only will it block all Wi-Fi signals, but it’ll also be a fun science lesson! Remember to save the big reveal of what the Faraday cage does for the very end for maximum drama! ??????
5. Once you’ve achieved submission, present the timed lock box. (You know, the one you might have seen on Shark Tank that you can use to curb your spending by locking away the credit card for periods of time?) Tuck the devices into the box and set the timer to open on the first Saturday after the first day of school. Cheers to a digital detox they’ll never forget. ?????

NOTE: During the transition period, be sure to set up your password-protected, private network so that the adults can continue their digital bliss as needed.?

What Do You Do While Traveling?

Don’t worry! Your screen free summer can be maintained even while on the road with two easy steps.?

1. Conveniently “forget” to pack any devices when you go on a family trip. To make it look even more convincing, forget a few other key items, like a pair of sandals, floppy sun hat, and the summer sausage you bought especially for PopPop.?
2. When you arrive at your destination, you may also need to handle any potential network access. Excuse yourself to visit the bathroom. Drop past the router and simply unplug it. Scapegoat the service provider and offer to wait on hold while everyone makes chicken pot pie.

Warning: Do Not Fall for These Tricks

There may be moments when the kids turn feral, stopping at nothing to get their devices back. This is when they’re most clever. Do not fall for these tricks but admire their grit and brilliance!?

1. “Wifi scavenger hunts” are not what all the cool kids are doing.?
2. Field trips to local destinations do not require a guided tour app or online videos. All that destination information is also written in words anyway. (Extra summer reading for the kiddos. Score!)
3. “Just one minute is all I need to check…” It’s never ever just one minute.

In Case of Emergency

We’re all human, so don’t you worry if you need to give them a hit of the Internet to get through the dog days of summer. No judgment here!

My favorite way to navigate these emergency moments is to use my languishing Peloton. It was relegated to the basement during that whole Sex and the City fiasco. (RIP Big…).

We’ve given our bike new life by installing a friction charger; a simple afternoon DIY generator project with the kids. If they pedal hard enough, maybe they can power the Internet, their devices, and get their Bluey.?

Have a Lovely Summer

And poof! It's as easy as that. May you have a summer full of creativity as you and your children rediscover the world beyond the screen.? ??????

Or, if you're like most parents and caregivers, perhaps you'd rather have a Screen Smart Summer. Here's how to do that!

Our non-satirical guide to an actual Screen Smart Summer... Screen Smart Families: Breaking Free from Media Guilt and Shame