From Screeching Gears to Smooth Transitions: Rethinking How We Welcome Newcomers

I remember my first driving lesson like it was yesterday..... sweaty hands, heart beating fast, excitement that the time had finally arrived. My Dad sitting next to me in his blue Isuzu bakkie, no power steering back in that day, and the open road ahead of us...

Ok, it would have been a dusty farm road, but still.

Turn the key, find first gear, and gently press the accelerator to move forward.?

We're off. My Dad can't help himself and keeps pushing his non-existent brake with his foot on the passenger side even though we were probably going 10km/h

And then things get exciting. It's time to change gears again. I know exactly what to do.... just push the clutch in gently and slide the gear down into second.?

Which I do.?

But, instead of a smooth transition, the revs go through the roof. I panic as I'd never seen this happen before from the passenger seat, and no doubt I stall the vehicle.

"Daaaaaaad - What just happened?"

"Just take your foot off the accelerator when you put your clutch in to change gears Judith!!!" (He and my sister are the only people allowed to still call me that, but clearly all our nerves are frazzled!)?

I'm like 'well you could have told me that - it would have been a useful piece of information to have for my first driving lesson Dad!"

You can just imagine the tension.

But you see, he was so used to driving a manual car that he didn't have to think about what his feet were doing when he was changing gears. He forgot that this was a key part of changing gears smoothly - important information that i needed to know on my first driving lesson.

I'm sure we all know the 'Conscious competence theory of learning a new skill' and clearly I was very much in the Unconscious incompetence stage, being taught by someone in the Unconscious competence stage.

So why am I telling you this story? Well, we are 4 weeks into our kids starting a new school, and between the kids and us parents, we also feel like our revs have been screeching far too high at least two or three times most days.

It might not be the clutch this time, but things like knowing what uniform to wear and when, where to go and what time we have to arrive?-?because 'the cricket match starts at 9am' doesn't mean you need to be there at 9am (which we know now!)?

Check the notice board, check your emails, check your 56193 Whatsapp messages.?

It's stressful and the rev count is high for all of us. I don't think that's good for any of our systems.?

For those kids and families who have been doing this for a few years already - they know all this stuff. They don't have to think about it.?

They know where the field is that they have to be at, they know that it's sports kit to school on a Monday rather than uniform, they know what side of the swimming pool the races start, they know how the teachers want them to write down their homework, they know how to use the library, they know when the shirt collar has to be under or over the blazer or jersey.

They just know.....

They're in the Unconscious competence stage, where it's just second nature to them.

But if you're new..... you don't know it all.?

And yes, it's normal.... we all start in the unconscious incompetence stage and hopefully move to the Unconscious competence stage....?

But, just like my Dad forgot that I didn't know how to change gears I think that many of us also forget that even though we are in the Unconscious competence stage, not everyone is.

That it doesn't come easily for everyone just yet. That the amount of information that new people need to take in, while still cracking on with the 'normal' day can be overwhelming.?

And so this is my reminder to you - whether it's starting at a new school, or starting a new role or job. Learning something new is hard - for all of us.

It takes the time it takes, and that's also why being aware of these different stages in the learning process is important, and tools like orientation programs and mentors are so important.?

But - don't just rely on what you (or someone who's been in the organisation for years) think is important for your new hires, or new students, to know.?

Yes, there are those standard things that every new recruit does need to know, but why not also have some 'safe' conversations with a new school students or a new hire one or two weeks into their new role and find out what's been most overwhelming for them....?

I'm pretty confident that you'll find it's something you hadn't thought about.?

Something so simple as knowing you just have to take your foot off the accelerator for the revs not to screech and the car to stall.

You may even hear new ideas on how to improve some of your existing systems. That's the power of hearing differing voices right?

Yes, it's all part of the learning process, but if we have the chance to know better, then perhaps we can do better.?

No one wants to put extra strain on our engines if we can avoid it.

And lastly, on a personal note.... perhaps when we are learning new things, taking our foot off the accelerator?is sometimes the important thing we need to do.

Lastly... my kids are thriving and happy and are settling. They've had their wobbles, as have I... Change is never easy. This is just my observation in a world where my job as their Mom is to support them, and do my best with equipping them the tools and understanding that they need. And maybe, through our journey, we can also help others to rethink, unlearn and relearn some of what we do to be able to thrive in the 2020s and beyond.