From Reality TV to Real Life: My Journey of Growth and Transformation

On this day in 2011, I embarked on a remarkable journey as a contestant on the acclaimed reality TV show, The Apprentice. This was not just another step in my career; it was the fulfilment of a long-held dream and a significant milestone that I had set for myself as a young entrepreneur and business professional.

Having been in Australia for a year, I saw the advertisement for The Apprentice and felt an overwhelming urge to apply. With a wealth of experience in the working world and as an entrepreneur, I believed, I was well-prepared for the challenges ahead. In hindsight, this confidence was my first mistake.

The Journey Begins

My application was accepted, leading to a Skype interview—a novelty at the time. The use of Skype for international interviews was quite rare in 2011, long before the widespread use of platforms like Facetime, Zoom, and Teams. This technological leap underscored the changing landscape of communication and business.

After a successful interview, I was invited to audition. I flew halfway across the world, spending days in intense testing alongside hundreds of hopefuls. The process was gruelling, but ultimately, I secured a coveted spot as one of the 16 participants on the show. And my dream was to become a reality.

The Episode Breakdown

I know I was stupid to take on the task as PM, I know I should have stepped back and allowed someone else to drive the ship while I observed and got the lay of the land. But that's not me, I've never been afraid of hard work. I've always put my hand up to take on roles, and responsibilities and tasks that I could (or should) have given to someone else - but didn't. This, I can now see as a consequence of my neurodiversity.

In the episode, the teams were tasked with selling sandwiches on the streets of Dublin. This seemingly simple task was layered with complexities, from planning and costing the ingredients to devising a sales strategy. The older team, led by , chose the name Team Zest, while my team of younger contestants went with Team Spirit.

As the project leader, I brought my experience in fast-moving consumer goods (FMCG) to the table. However, despite our best efforts, Team Spirit made a modest profit of just €19, while Team Zest outperformed us significantly.

And so my dream quickly turned into a nightmare, and the horrors of elimination from the show without showing the world my greatness loomed.

Facing Elimination

During the elimination process, I took Chris and Conor, back into the boardroom. The reasoning was that despite the fact that I liked Chris, and he was my 2IC and felt that he could have helped steer the ship in a better direction. And I just didn't like Conor.

Ultimately, I was fired from the show, my parting words "I should have read the Fucking Brief" ring in my ears every time I receive a contract, brief or RFT. My departure left 15 apprentices still in the running for the grand prize. Despite the disappointment, this experience taught me invaluable lessons about leadership, teamwork, and resilience. And I had an experience that I shared with an amazing group of professionals that I will relish forever.

The Impact and Emotional Aftermath

However, The reality of my Apprentice experience was far more profound than the immediate aftermath suggested. It stripped me of my confidence and self-esteem and catapulted me deep into rejection-sensitive dysphoria. This pivotal emotional moment was a catalyst for change in my life, but not in the way I initially expected.

The shame of being the first person fired from the show on national television—on the highest-rated show in the country, no less—was overwhelming. I was consumed by disbelief in myself and my abilities, fear of never again securing a good job, and the dread of being laughed at, judged, and talked about. Anger at myself and my team for our poor performance, and at the production team for the obstacles they placed in our way, added to the emotional turmoil. The guilt of allowing such an opportunity to slip by without making the most of it and the financial burden—costing me over $10,000—compounded my distress. All I had to show for it was failure, a good story, and a host of negative emotions.

The sadness of feeling I had let down my friends, family, and supporters weighed heavily on me. I returned to Australia with my tail between my legs, falling into a pit of depression that lasted for months.

The Path to Healing

One day, in the depths of my despair, I attended a hot yoga class. It was a small step, but it made a significant difference. I felt better, different—like a fog had cleared from my mind. I continued to go to yoga, started meditating again, and attended personal and professional development seminars. Each step helped me come to terms with my failure, rewiring my brain's belief systems around failure and success.

A turning point came when I attended an intensive two-day retreat with Ben Harvey from Authentic Education, which was actually called 'Turning Point Intensive'. I remember it vividly - because it was my turning point, I started to change, to develop and grow. From that day forward, Ben became one of my guiding lights and professional mentors. I have taken many of his programs, continue to attend his events, and am immensely grateful for all the learnings and opportunities for growth he and the many mentors, teachers and educators have given to me over the past 13 years. Each year, I have attended a training course, a seminar, a workshop, or multiple - that have helped me rewire my brain, reprogram my subconscious and reenter the world with a new awareness understanding and belief system, to serve to share and to support others like me to get to where they want to be.

Embracing Neurodiversity

Now, as a neurodivergent woman officially diagnosed with autism and ADHD, I reflect on the Apprentice experience with a deeper understanding. The emotional aftermath, the highs and lows, the turmoil and unknowns—all of it was colored by my neurodivergence. The reality show industry, with its unpredictability, lack of awareness, sudden changes, fear, suspense, hidden agendas, and backstabbing, was a profoundly challenging environment for someone like me.

Despite this, some positive feedback emerged. On the live studio audience segment of The Apprentice: You're Fired spin-off show, people remarked that I was "too nice." In hindsight, this was autistic me front and centre—too nice, too accommodating, trying to let everyone shine and be everyone's friend. These traits, while often seen as weaknesses in the cutthroat world of reality TV, are intrinsic to who I am.

My ADHD traits—outgoing, bubbly, energetic, impulsive and exuberant—are the qualities that engage and entertain the world and give me the ambition to continually put myself forward and step into fear and the unknown. I am grateful for both aspects of my neurodivergence. By learning their secrets, preferences, strengths, and weaknesses, I have become a force to be reckoned with.

Let My Hindsight Be Your Foresight

When I work with my coaching clients or mentees, I often say, "Let my hindsight be your foresight." I have endured so much throughout my career that was difficult, heartbreaking, and soul-destroying. The Apprentice was one of the significant emotional moments that was pivotal in my development. As I continue to develop the draft to my next book, moments like this, experiences like the apprentice are being rediscovered and understood through the eyes of a late-diagnosed neurodivergent woman. You'll have to wait for the book for all the juicy stories ;)

Moving Forward with Purpose

This chapter of my life has shaped my approach as an empowerment coach, helping others navigate their journeys with confidence and resilience. I encourage my clients to embrace their experiences, no matter how challenging, and to see them as opportunities for growth and transformation. The journey may be tough, but it is through these trials that we find our true strength and potential.

As I continue my path, I remain committed to supporting others, advocating for neurodiversity, and striving to make a positive impact in the world. My experience on The Apprentice may have been a difficult chapter, but it was also a catalyst for profound change and personal growth. For that, I am grateful.

About the Author;

Aisling Smith Vance, is a Neurodiversity Empowerment Expert, an Amazon Best Selling Author, Podcaster, Professional Speaker, Master Hypnotherapist, High-Performance Coach, and Corporate Trainer.

Aisling focuses on supporting Inclusion, Empowerment, and Neurodiversity at home and in the Workplace.

1, Aisling Helps late diagnosed Neurodivergent Men and Women who are fed up and burnt out get to the next level in their careers and lives. She does this in her online Community; The Outliers Collective, through one-on-one coaching, online courses and group training. You can find out more here.

2, In the Workplace, Aisling cultivates a culture of inclusivity where every voice and talent is heard and recognised. She does this through Lunch & Learns, Executive Training and Workshops in Small, Medium and Large organisations and the Public Sector for teams and companies who care, who know the value of their employees and who want to harness and maximise their potential.

3, Aisling also works with Untapped a globally renowned company that supports neurodivergent individuals in obtaining employment, places them in employment, upskills and trains both the individuals their employers and their colleagues within the business ensuring a neuroinclusive and neuroinformed workforce. If you are interested in discussing Neurodiversity in the Workplace contact Aisling Here

You can work with Aisling 1-1 or through your business - book your Free Personal or Business Empowerment Planning Session here.