From Psychological Warfare to Psychological Safety: Creating Healthy Work Environments

How many of us have fallen prey to the alluring charm of promises during the tantalizing job interview process? With hopeful hearts, we eagerly embraced the enticing prospects laid before us:

"We offer a flexible work environment that promotes work-life balance."

"We are wholeheartedly committed to fostering diversity and inclusion, valuing every individual's unique contributions."

"Welcome to our family-like culture, where camaraderie and support are second to none."

And perhaps they dazzled us with the allure of substantial salaries and tempting bonuses. Yet, as we immerse ourselves in the daily grind, the enchantment fades, and reality sets in—empty pledges and hollow commitments. What remains is a paycheck we rely upon, health insurance we can't do without, and the unavoidable chains of financial obligations.

We feel trapped, held hostage by the disparity between what was pledged and what is delivered. It's a psychological warfare of sorts, where organizations employ non-lethal tactics to capture our hearts and minds, leaving us emotionally entangled in their web of deceit.

As an HR leader, I once sat across job candidates, skillfully portraying my organization as the epitome of an inclusive and nurturing work environment. Little did they know that even my glowing anecdotes about my "positive" experience were smokescreens concealing the harsh reality. The very benefits they sought were the very ones our current employees yearned for—mere fantasies, far from the truth.

But let us not succumb to disillusionment or despair. Instead, let this realization ignite our determination to transform this psychological warfare into a haven of psychological safety—a workplace where authenticity, empathy, and genuine commitment to diversity, equity, and inclusion reign supreme.

In this article, I'll share an excerpt from my latest book, Crazy A.F.: How to go from being burned out, unmotivated & unhappy to reclaiming your mental health at work.

CHAPTER FOUR

PSYCHOLOGICAL WARFARE

When I left my C-suite job, I was already recognized as a top voice for workplace mental health as I publicly shared my journey of living, working, and running a business with bipolar disorder. I knew that being a workplace mental health advocate would be my new calling. Not because of any accolades I had received but because working with a mental illness and promoting mental health in the workplace was still a taboo subject, yet one my life revolved around in many ways.?

Over the past few years, celebrities such as Jennifer Lewis, Taraji P. Henson, Selena Gomez, Oprah Winfrey, Michael Phelps, Carson Daily, and Big Sean have spoken openly about their mental health struggles. Simon Biles and Naomi Osaka have even gone so far as to opt out of major events and media appearances, citing their desire to protect their mental health. I applaud all of these people and many others for their willingness to use their platforms to destigmatize mental illness. However, is this same ability to be vulnerable and transparent about mental health issues available to your average, everyday worker? The answer is a resounding no.?

Meet Kevin Berling.?

Kevin asked his manager not to throw him a birthday party as his employer did for every employee. Kevin explained that the reason that he didn’t want a birthday party was not that he was a party pooper but rather because the event might cause him immense stress and maybe even a panic attack. Well, guess what? His manager threw that birthday party anyway. As predicted, Kevin had a panic attack and left the party. From his car, he texted his boss how upset he was that his request wasn’t accommodated.?

What do you think happened next? Well, what should have happened was for his manager to meet with Kevin to apologize for not following his wishes and use this incident as a learning opportunity to not only respect the wishes of his employee but to learn more about mental health conditions and how they present themselves in the workplace. But that didn’t happen. Instead, Kevin’s boss and other company representatives met with him all right. Still, it wasn’t to apologize or learn about his condition and how they could prevent Kevin from having another work-related panic attack. Instead, the meeting was used to chastise him for his behavior of leaving the party, which included remarks such as that he was “stealing his co-workers’ joy” and that he was “being a little girl.” Yes, you read that right.

After this meeting, you can probably guess what happened next. Kevin suffered another panic attack. This time, there was no follow-up meeting. He was fired from his job a couple of days later. And get this: he was fired for “workplace violence.” Yes, you read that right, too. He was fired because his panic attacks were perceived as acts of violence. Kevin was awarded nearly $500,000.00 for his rights under the Americans with Disabilities Act (a.k.a. the ADA, which we will discuss further in the book) and for retaliation. $300,00.00 of that award was for the emotional stress that the company put on him during these unfortunate events.?

I think Kevin’s birthday party will be the most expensive office birthday party ever. But I couldn’t care less about what Kevin’s company had to pay him. I care about Kevin. Imagine what it was like for him to go through these events. I can just imagine that instead of being excited about his birthday, he had to feel fear because he knew that his company liked to throw birthday parties, which triggered panic attacks for him. Kevin was courageous to inform his manager about his mental health condition. Many of us don’t have that courage, which triggers mental health issues that we hide from our employers. Remember my story of reporting to jury duty and suffering, which I now know was probably a panic attack? I didn’t dare to tell my boss what was happening, which led to my eventual termination. Kevin was simply attempting to avoid a mental health trigger. He didn’t do anything wrong. All he did was make a reasonable request to protect his mental health, and he got fired for it…for not wanting a birthday party.?

When protecting our mental health in the workplace, we are in psychological warfare with our organizations. Psychological warfare, as described by history expert Robert Longley, is a “non-lethal effort to capture hearts and minds. It typically employs propaganda to influence the values, beliefs, emotions, reasoning, motives, or behavior of its targets.” Most organizations use psychological warfare to lure appealing candidates into their workplaces by making promises of strong and inclusive work cultures, great benefits, and growth opportunities. As an HR leader, I have sat directly across from job candidates, touting how great a company is to work for, all while crossing my fingers behind my back. Sometimes, I would go so far as to share my own (fake) positive experience working there. If I did not fill the open position, I was not being successful in my role. So, I needed to get that candidate to say “yes” to my offer by any means necessary. I would engage in psychological warfare by asking the candidate what they were looking for in a position and from an organization. Then, I would go on and on about how my company could offer all those things, plus more! But the truth was, everything I said was just a bunch of bologna. All of the things that the candidate wanted from this opportunity were all of the things that the current employees wished they had. Yeah, these perks, benefits, and culture statements all looked good on paper, but they were just pies in the skies.?

We’ve all seen those pharmaceutical commercials where the medication being advertised will supposedly help you resolve or at least get some form of relief from a medical condition. But at the end of the commercial, there is a long list of side effects in small print, i.e., blurry vision, hearing loss, paralysis, amnesia, and a broken toe. My daughter and I laugh whenever we hear this and joke that we might as well just deal with the original condition! Well, when making a job offer to a candidate, instead of including the whole “we are an equal employment opportunity” crap statement on the job offer, we should include a warning message that reads:

WARNING: This job offer may come with some severe side effects. Some people who have accepted this position in the past reported low morale, long hours, loss of vacation and sick time, belittling, harassment, a touch of racism, burnout, and increasing signs of depression. If you experience any of these things, don’t report them to me because I will make you feel like you’re making shit up in your head.”

All kidding aside, the workplace propaganda of creating psychological warfare with their workforce is rampant, but during the COVID-19 pandemic, folks started to catch on to the facade. As people across the world were called into quarantine, prompting the majority of the population to have the opportunity to work remotely, the curtain was pulled back on the false realities of work.?

For decades, workers begged for the elusive work-life balance. Time and time again, they were told that working from home was not possible. I can’t even begin to count the number of times in my career when my day was filled with listening in to conference calls on mute and thinking, I got all dressed up for work today just to sit at my desk and join hundreds of other people on mute to listen to just a few people talk while I scroll through Instagram. But when organizations had no choice but to shift to remote work, magic happened overnight. Laptops were shipped. Zoom accounts were set up. Pajama bottoms became the new black. Although everyone was uncertain and afraid of what this virus could do and how long it would last, for most, there was comfort in being home.?

Home became a safe place, not just from the coronavirus but from toxic work environments. Many people didn’t realize just how their workplaces were impacting their mental health until they had the opportunity to step away from them. Remote work creates a natural buffer that allows for less time for those little annoyances from your boss and coworkers, especially for those of us from marginalized groups. The sneaky, microaggressive comments about your hair, accent, and the food you eat were suddenly missing from your life. You found yourself being able to get your work done while also re-engaging in the things you love outside of work, too (remember those?). In addition to avoiding frustrating coworkers, people could sleep more, save money, spend more time with family, and work in flexible physical spaces that are more conducive to mental well-being. More importantly, remote work gave people in marginalized communities a break from the psychological distress associated with their identities.?

The year 2020 brought a global pandemic, but in the same year, the murder of a man by the name of George Floyd brought a racial reckoning to workplaces across America. Finally, recognizing the systemic barriers that have been oppressing Black people in the workplace, organizational leaders made unprecedented commitments to dismantle these systems and provide more equitable work environments. However, several years later, these commitments to Black employees seemingly diminished. In fact, in some cases, these commitments weren’t commitments at all. They were veiled attempts to follow “the flavor of the month” or, to be more politically correct, to do it because everybody else was.?

One glaring example was when the former NFL Coach for the Miami Dolphins was a candidate for the head coaching job for the New York Giants. Brian Flores, a Black man, was scheduled to interview for the New York Giants head coaching job. But before his interview, he received a text message from Bill Belichick — his former boss with the Patriots — that mistakenly informed him that the Giants had already decided to hire Brian Daboll. Belichick appeared to be under the impression he was texting Daboll and attempted to congratulate him on the hire. Whew, text messages will get you every time!?

It appeared that the Giants were just complying with the “Rooney Rule” enacted by the NFL, which requires teams to interview at least two minority candidates for head coaching and football operations jobs. Although this rule was enacted to ensure that underrepresented applicants have an opportunity to sit down with owners of the teams, to most of the teams, it’s just a check-the-box exercise. The Rooney Rule is another example of psychological warfare organizations engage in with their employees. It makes you think you have a chance when you’re not even in the running. Rules, policies, diversity statements, and commitments are put in place to give the illusion that they care or want to do the right thing, but in fact, it’s just a play on the emotions of their workforce, which is dangerous. Decades of research show us that when employees are “chronically treated differently, unfairly, or badly” they most often go on to suffer from “effects ranging from low self-esteem to a higher risk for developing stress-related disorders such as anxiety and depression.”?

All of this ties back into psychological warfare. A company may agree upon what they need to meet a criterion, and they may say they are part of the solution, but if it’s words without actions, it has zero value. And surely, if you cannot get people in an organization to understand the calling and its benefits, how are they going to contribute to positive change in the workplace? It becomes smoke and mirrors, kind of like my son when he was little and promised to behave, then turning around and doing something that made me feel that he had definitely not been behaving, whatever that really means.

As the world continues to stabilize from the COVID-19 pandemic, it has become clear that organizations can no longer engage in psychological warfare with their employees. Their employees are on to their performative efforts. Budgets for diversity, equity, and inclusion programs have dwindled. There have been little to no recognizable additions noted other than shifts back to the old way of doing things that have taken hold, including eliminating remote work. Catchphrases like “quiet quitting” demonstrate how the tables have turned. Employees are showing up for work and doing their jobs, but at the same time, they are no longer going over and beyond to ensure the organization’s success. They show up, do their job, collect their paychecks, and go home.

It is crucial that we break free from the chains of false promises and reclaim our mental well-being at work. We shall unveil the path towards a work environment that cherishes our unique strengths and fosters genuine growth, where employees thrive, and authentic promises are kept.

Together, let us journey from psychological warfare to psychological safety—ushering in a new era where workplace dreams become realities and where our mental health thrives.

Want to learn more about reclaiming your mental health at work or cultivating a culture of mental well-being for your workforce? Well, look no further! Here are some resources:

Purchase your copy of Crazy A.F.: How to go from being burned out, unmotivated & unhappy to reclaiming your mental health at work! anywhere you purchase your books.

Register for our new course: Learning to Unlearn: A Revolutionized Way to Disrupt Bias.

Schedule a discovery call to determine how we can work together to promote and protect the mental health of your workforce.

FREE RESOURCE ALERT

I will be hosting my Mentera Care Chat on August 8th from 1-1:30. This month, I will chat with Sheila ? Krueger (she/her/ella), MBA, CCP , who is the former head of global benefits at Zoom . We are grateful that Lyra Health will sponsor this month's care chat. Make sure to join us, and did I mention that this event is free?! Register today!