From the President, January 2025

Although talking to yourself out loud is ordinarily frowned upon and viewed as possible evidence of declining mental health, it is normal human behavior to ask oneself questions about all manner of things, including how you are progressing in your career and life. As I have gotten older, these types of questions have changed. I have stopped asking myself questions such as “Where do you want to be in five years?” or “Are you comfortable in the area of law you are practicing?” “Will I meet my billable hours to get a bonus?” or “Will I make partner?” Instead, I have started asking myself questions like, “What can I do so I will not be forgotten when I’m gone?” and “What would you tell your younger self if you had the chance?”

I have made my share of mistakes in my career. I have not achieved great financial success (at least not by the measure of some). I have worked with easily over a hundred lawyers—some at the top of the profession and others, well, let’s just say I learned what not to do by watching them. I have worked at many different law firms from an AmLaw 100 firm, to starting my own firm in 2008 with one partner. I have been a junior, mid-level and senior associate, of counsel, and an income and equity partner. I am a son, husband, father, and grandfather of five. So, rather than write the usual January President’s message containing New Year’s resolutions, I thought I would share my perspective and experience, for better or worse.

Dear Younger Self,

Don’t freak out! I know it sounds crazy, but I am you, just much older, writing to you from the future! Don’t worry, you haven’t lost all your faculties yet (maybe a few to be sure, but nothing truly awful). I thought I would drop you a note to give you the benefit of my experience, not to prevent you from making the same mistakes that I did, but perhaps one or more things that I say will resonate with you and you will incorporate them into your life. Did I mention mistakes?

Go Slow to Go Fast

Now that you have finished law school and passed the bar exam (Yay, you!), you will begin to learn how to be the best lawyer that you can. That means giving yourself the time, voluntarily or involuntarily, depending on where you are working, to get your assignments done in a way that will be the best representation of your work and effort. Do not be afraid to ask questions of others who have more experience than you (which will be almost everyone). With written work, get samples of finished products to get an idea as to form and the writing style of the person who gave you the assignment. The biggest improvement in your work will come between the first draft and second draft of a document, so never ever turn in a first draft. Try not to get intimidated by a partner’s exasperated expression (or even a stapler whizzing by your head—true story —duck!).

Beyond written work, take every opportunity (and do not be shy to ask for opportunities) to shadow more experienced attorneys in court, at depositions, in client meetings, closings, etc. Take as much time as you can to understand each individual client engagement that you are working on – you won’t always have the good fortune to be brought in at the beginning of a matter and you won’t always be working with someone with the time and inclination to give you complete context. The more context you can acquire, the better understanding you will have and the better your work will be. Try not to get too frustrated when asked to work on the weekends. It’s an investment that you are making in your career and a war story shared by many.

Build Your Network

On your first day of law school, the Dean asked your class to “Look to your left and then to your right. One of the three of you will likely not make it by the end of the year.” Your daughter’s law school Dean (yes, you have daughters and one of them graduated from law school too) told her class to “Look to your left and then to your right. Become friends with them and stay in touch. Help them in any way that you can. They will be a part of your network and could help you land a job, refer business to you, or help you in some other way.”? Can you tell the difference —we all need each other.

It is never too early to start building your network. Your network will likely start with your family and friends, and then go outward from there to your co-workers, peers, former classmates and others that you meet at networking and bar events. Be strategic about your network, do not just add people indiscriminately. Try to keep in touch with as many people as possible in your network (LinkedIn, which wasn’t available when I was younger me, is a great tool for this). Don’t just add people—engage with them, wherever possible. Wish them a happy birthday, celebrate when they get a promotion, reach out when they change jobs, commiserate when they have a setback. The smallest act of engagement by you at a critical moment can make all the difference in building a meaningful relationship. Try not to be transactional with any individual in your network. Help everyone where you can, and do not expect anything in return from any one individual. This requires a leap of faith, particularly at the beginning of your career, or where you have just made a major career transition. And this takes time, time you probably believe you do not have. Trust me, if you have put in the time, effort and engagement, there will be some number of people in your network who will be there when you need them and may even be there when you don’t.

Be Kind to Yourself and Others

As you are learning, the World can be a hard and unforgiving place. Most people have their heads down and are focusing on their own lives, not yours. People take one look at you, and a perception is formed. For very valid reasons, keeping your own confidence level is challenging, and it starts with a basic belief in yourself, both as a good person and as a lawyer.? Start with the premise that you are a good person and will try your best to get better at everything—a better husband, father, brother, son and lawyer each day, every day. You are the captain of your ship and only you have the power over your own self-belief. Do not cede that power to anyone. Anyone. Once you become dependent on others for validation, your life can become chaotic, unpredictable and deeply unsatisfying.

Mistakes and failures are opportunities to learn from and develop coping skills. The measure of one’s character is how you handle things when they aren’t going well. Just like you shouldn’t internalize compliments that you receive from others when things are going well, endeavor to learn from constructive criticism and shut out any other negative noise. Your coping skills are a superpower. Having confidence and belief in yourself when things aren’t going well will be key to overcoming whatever obstacles life puts in your way and staying relatively sane.

As for your dealings with other people, treat everyone with the same respect with which you want and expect to be treated. Build relationships with everyone, partners, associates, administrative assistants, paralegals, janitorial staff—everyone. You will learn from everyone. Try not to compare yourself to others—you do not have enough data about their lives to do so in any way that might make sense or be helpful. Everyone has their own story and struggles. People don’t usually talk about those things publicly. Don’t try to fix people. Some (most) people aren’t asking you to fix them or the thing that is troubling them. Most will just appreciate someone who listens.

Embrace diversity of thought and perspective. Be a lifelong learner. Accept and enjoy the good that comes your way and try to let go of negative feelings and events. Although you will strive to be the best at everything, you won’t be. But you won’t be anywhere near the worst either. You will come to define success in different ways -- your children – their happiness and successes (and grandchildren, did I tell you that you have grandchildren?) getting to love and being loved by the most beautiful soul ever, and by countless people whom you have befriended and helped in some way. As the mythical character, Dicky Fox says in Jerry Maguire (watch it when it comes out, you will love it!), “Hey, I don’t have all the answers. In life, to be honest, I failed as much as I have succeeded. But I love my wife. I love my life. And I wish you my kind of success.”

Know that everything is going to be ok.

I love you.

????? Jim

What would you write to your younger self? Email me at [email protected] if you want to share.