From Playrooms to Boardrooms: What a Grandma and a Board Director Have in Common (Part 1)

June 18th, 2024 was a truly special day as we celebrated the first wedding anniversary of my daughter Chidi and her husband Mow, who were married in beautiful Lake Como, Italy, about a year ago.

That celebration has become even more incredible with the blessed addition of baby Ezra, making this young family journey in my view like a start up looking to scale and requiring seasoned guidance.

I recently spent time with the young couple and my grandson, gathering countless stories from my Omugwo (a traditional Igbo practice where a mother helps care for her daughter's newborn—and I dare say her and hubby, if done right ??).

While I intend to write a whole book on this topic, I have been reflecting on how much I love being a grandparent and how this role surprisingly mirrors that of being an independent board director.

Discovering the Unlikely Similarities in Both Roles

Reflecting on my journey through these two incredibly fulfilling roles—being a first-time grandmother to my delightful Baby Ezra and serving as an independent board director—I am struck by the similarity between the two.

Both roles require wisdom, dedication, and a deep sense of care, and I find the lessons learned in one often enrich the practice of the other. Below, I share a non-exhaustive list of some of the interchangeable skills and lessons in the hope that more leaders, especially women, recognize that they have skills that are both adaptable and relevant.

As we navigate the second half of life, it’s possible to integrate a highly impactful life that combines being fully present for our families and using our experiences and expertise to advance sustainable businesses. There’s nothing new about grandparents in the playroom and boardrooms, but there’s something profoundly empowering about recognizing that the two roles influence each other.

Let’s dive into the lessons:

1. Cultivating Growth: Nurturing with Purpose

Nurturing Ezra involves encouraging his physical, emotional, and cognitive development, just as a board director nurtures the growth of a company. In the boardroom, it is about steering the organization towards sustainable growth, ensuring that it thrives in a competitive landscape, much like ensuring a child is poised to navigate the world effectively. Watching Ezra’s growth reminds me of guiding a company through new ventures and growth phases.

2. Visionary Dreams: Designing Bright Futures

Grandmothers want the absolute best for their grandchildren and believe that anything is possible for them with the right support. I dream big for Ezra, envisioning a future filled with happiness, health, and success for him.

Similarly, as a board director, I help set a strategic vision for the company, looking ahead to foresee and tackle future challenges and opportunities. Just as I envision Ezra's bright future, great directors work to ensure a prosperous path for the company.

3. Patience and Persistence: Weathering the Storms

Patience is crucial, whether it’s waiting for a toddler to take his first steps or guiding a company through a turnaround. Both roles demand persistence and the understanding that worthwhile results take time and resilience.

During my Berkeley Executive Coaching Certification in 2021, the concept of being ‘open to outcome but not tied to them’ was very instructive. As board directors, we know that the best plans can go awry, and we have to be ready to accept uncomfortable outcomes while having the patience to recalculate and pivot in new directions.

Recently, a company project that we embarked on with great zeal and diligent execution was scuttled. As directors, working with the management and key stakeholders, our role was to act as the voice of reason, encouragement, and strategic redirection.

4. Tough Love: Making Hard Decisions

Just as grandparenting sometimes requires tough love to guide a child on the right path, a board director must make difficult decisions that will benefit the company in the long term, even if they are not popular in the short term. Balancing compassion with firmness is essential in both realms.

For example, when Baby Ezra had to undergo a circumcision as part of a family tradition, his mother couldn’t bear to watch him in pain. As a present grandparent, I accompanied his father to the hospital for the procedure. It was tough seeing Ezra cry, but we were there to comfort and care for him immediately afterward. This experience is akin to making tough business decisions that may initially cause discomfort but are necessary for the long-term benefit of the organization.

5. Leading by Example: Setting the Standard

As a grandmother, I am acutely aware that Ezra will always be watching and learning from me. I must model behaviors and values I hope to instill in him. In the boardroom, the same principle applies: the culture of a company is often a reflection of its leadership, requiring me to act with integrity and demonstrate the values we espouse.

Being a role model is a shared responsibility in both settings. Just as companies are bound by codes of corporate governance and ethics, families benefit from setting and instilling values and encouraging habits early on that form the bedrock of a child’s long-term development.

6. Crisis Management: Staying Calm Amidst Chaos

Just like directors, grandparents must stay calm during crises, drawing from years of experience navigating challenges. Picture receiving alarming news that sends parents or a company into a tailspin. As a grandparent and a board director, you're expected to approach the situation with level-headed maturity and wisdom. While parents or management might be frazzled, acting as direct participants with limited perspectives, both grandparents and board directors operate as the 'third eye.' This unique vantage point allows us to maintain a balanced, independent view, using our seasoned expertise to assess and advise calmly. Our presence provides a stabilizing force, providing guidance through turbulence with wisdom and poise.

For instance, consider a moment when a sudden health scare hits your grandchild, or a critical business deal faces unexpected setbacks. In both scenarios, your role is to offer a calming presence, to interrogate the situation thoroughly, and to offer insightful guidance that comes from having weathered many storms.

It's about harnessing that deep well of experience to provide clarity and reassurance when it is needed most. In essence, the dual role of being a grandparent and a board director teaches us the invaluable lesson of staying composed under pressure, turning our life experiences into a beacon of support and guidance for those around us.

7. Celebrating Success: Joy in Achievements

Whether it’s seeing Ezra master a new skill or watching a strategic decision lead to success in the boardroom, the joy in these achievements is a profound reminder of why I cherish both roles. On his first Easter, I took Baby Ezra and his parents to the Jumeirah beach for a special treat.

This celebration outside the typical family environment mirrors how directors can cultivate relationships beyond the boardroom, recognizing and celebrating the achievements of senior management and teams in unique and memorable ways.

In this season of life, I find great joy and fulfillment in embracing both of these roles, each enriching the other in unexpected, delightful ways.

The blend of personal joy and professional satisfaction is a powerful combination that keeps me energized and committed.

I hope this reflection inspires you to find similar connections and synergies in your own diverse roles. Here's to embracing all facets of our lives with enthusiasm and wisdom!

Warm regards,

Udo Okonjo

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