From Perfectionism to Peace of Mind

5 Easily Applicable Tips to Release Destructive Perfectionism in your Professional Career

Have you ever found yourself trapped in a cycle where no matter how much you've accomplished, it feels like it's never enough? You secure one success after another, yet the finish line of true satisfaction keeps shifting farther away. "I'll find happiness when I reach that promotion," you promise yourself, but the moment you achieve it, another goal emerges – and the cycle continues.

The pressure to constantly excel leaves you overwhelmed, making you feel guilty even if you contemplate spending a Sunday morning in bed without doing anything. Strangely, this sentiment of not doing enough has little to do with our actual achievements. But why can't we recognize our tremendous accomplishments and feel content about them when they're right in front of us?

Are we born with perfectionism?

We learn half of what we know about the world before the age of 5. These beliefs function like a filter between us and reality. They become imprinted in our subconscious, directing how we interpret the world around us.

Imagine being just a small kid at elementary school and the professor is asking you to present your homework before the class (a true story from my client). You start reading out loud your answers while he suddenly stops you with a look of disappointment and asks your classmate to continue.

Guess what? For a 6-year-old mind, the conclusion isn't likely to be, 'My teacher might be having a tough day,' or ‘He is incapable of his job.' No. The only belief that a child will form here (and this is what happened to my client) is that 'I'm not enough. I need to do better. So at such an early age, a belief is formed: ‘I must always strive harder because the way I am is not enough.’

The problem is that these beliefs persist well into adulthood. Years go by, yet the urge to continuously strive for perfection remains. The twist is, at some point, there is no correlation between the fact that the more you try, the better you succeed. Yet, your subconscious continues to function based on this old wiring that pushes you to always strive more due to some old stories from your childhood.

The good news is that today we know that our minds are physically capable of changing. It means that new thought patterns can be literally wired in your brain. All it takes is repetition of thoughts that are to your benefit. Here I want to give you 5 tips that if you start to practise for 3 weeks, you will definitely feel a great sense of liberation from work stress caused by the damaging hustle of attaining perfectionism.

5 Tips to release stress by letting go of perfectionism?

1. Accept that perfection is not possible

If you are striving for something that doesn't exist, you're only setting yourself up for failure. The mere pretence of being flawless is exhausting because you always have to project an image of yourself that is not real. Instead, direct your focus inward, measuring your progress against your own past achievements.

Embrace the notion that growth and improvement are more valuable markers of success than an elusive perfection. Focus on how much you've grown compared to your past self, and not on others, as they might come from different backgrounds and may have been exactly where you are a few years ago.

2. A Fresh Perspective on Productivity

Understanding that spending more hours in front of your computer doesn't necessarily lead to increased productivity. Give yourself the permission to engage in activities solely for the sake of pleasure. Although it might appear counterintuitive, studies reveal that this practice can significantly boost your creativity and problem-solving skills.

Consider this: If you advised a child before a maths test, did you suggest revising examples or reminiscing about happy memories? Many of you might lean towards repetition for enhanced productivity. However, interestingly, this isn't entirely in line with researchers' findings. In a study, two groups of children with equal abilities were examined. One group was asked to reflect on a happy memory before taking the test, while no instructions were given to the other group. Surprisingly, the group primed with positive emotions consistently outperformed the ones in a neutral mental state.

3. Consider the Totality of Your Skillset

We all need a set of skills to be successful in our jobs. Consider a lawyer, for example; they require strong lexical knowledge, structured and analytical thinking, and negotiation assertiveness. While we do need a bit of each to excel in our career, we often measure ourselves against those who excel in one specific area, without taking into account the entirety of our skillset.

Maybe your colleague delivers exceptional presentations, and this might lead you to feel inadequate when it comes to public speaking. Yet, you might have twice the understanding of how to draft a crystal clear contract. The key isn't about competing; rather, it's about viewing the entire spectrum of your skills, taking into account all your strengths, before allowing comparison to lead to self-doubt.

4. Navigating Criticism Smartly

Dealing with criticism can challenge some of us, yet your self-esteem and even your productivity depend on how you handle it. When confronted with negative feedback, first ask yourself if it's constructive criticism aiming to facilitate your growth or if it's destructive in nature. If it's constructive, try to comprehend the underlying objective reasons and seize the opportunity to learn from it instead of allowing it to discourage or upset you.

However, when faced with destructive criticism, where the speaker's intent is solely to undermine you, remember that you have a choice to agree with it or not. Critical people often reserve the harshest criticism for themselves. All you can do in that situation is to praise yourself, because your mind doesn't care who says the encouraging words; it will just simply accept anything it hears repeatedly.

5. Remember: Happiness Leads to Success, not the Opposite

Let go of the common notion that you must sacrifice your social life, hobbies, or well-being in order to succeed. As Harvard University researcher Shawn Achor writes in his book, we often chase success under the myth that it will bring us happiness, yet it's just the opposite: happiness leads to success, not the other way around.

When we are in an elevated mood, our biology changes, affecting our performance at work. Positive emotions trigger the release of dopamine and serotonin in our brain, enhancing our capacity to assimilate new information and maintain a robust long-term memory. Furthermore, these emotions foster quicker and more creative thinking, as well as proficiency in complex analysis and problem-solving.

The Path to Inner Peace and Success

Scientific research has shattered the old belief that change becomes impossible with age. Your brain remains adaptable, capable of rewiring itself and forming new habits, even as the years go by. The secret lies in upgrading your self-talk and consistently repeating desired behaviours and thought patterns.

The voice you hear the most is your own, and here's the good news: you have a choice. Think of it like a radio station; you can tune it to any frequency. So, why opt for a channel that diminishes you when you can easily switch to one that uplifts you??

The decision is entirely yours. Where you don't have a choice is the impact of what you derive from repeated self-talk. Your own criticism will slowly and surely erode your self-esteem. But if you choose to praise yourself, your confidence must grow inevitably, and your career must rise with it.

If you are interested in upgrading your confidence to boost your career, check out my website: www.mindfinitely.com. Let's have a talk about how I can support you with your professional goals.