From People-Pleaser to Self-Advocate

I am inherently someone who avoids conflict, disliking arguments and abruptness with others. In the past, I've felt pressured by those around me, whether coworkers or clients, as I found it difficult to say no, often prioritizing their satisfaction over my well-being. This constant fear of being disliked or criticized led me to imagine that my reputation would be irreparably damaged if anyone spoke ill of me.

One day, I reached a breaking point and underwent a transformation, becoming more assertive and firm. I could no longer tolerate being a passive bystander, constantly submissive to the demands of others without standing up for myself. Surprisingly, many found my newfound assertiveness unexpected, and some even attempted to gaslight me.

As time passed, I remained haunted by the fear that someone might speak negatively of me due to this change in behavior. However, to my relief, none of my worst fears materialized. Instead, I found that my honesty and directness, though initially perceived as abrupt, were ultimately respected by those around me. Embracing this newfound confidence, I also felt empowered to express my opinions more freely, even in academic settings when pursuing postgraduate studies.

Initially, I had attempted to suppress my assertiveness to conform to societal expectations of amiability. However, I soon realized that the academic environment mirrored the professional world, and holding back my opinions only hindered the collaborative process. Consequently, I rediscovered the courage to speak up and assert my beliefs, albeit always in a respectful manner.

Through these experiences, spanning nearly a decade in the professional realm, I learned that refusing, arguing, and maintaining a stance were not inherently detrimental to my reputation. Rather, they were essential components of self-advocacy and professional growth. Moreover, I came to understand that not everyone will appreciate my communication style, and that's perfectly okay. No individual is immune to criticism or dislike, and attempting to please everyone is a futile endeavor.

Ultimately, I have come to embrace firmness, honesty, and commitment to my principles as virtues rather than liabilities. In a world fraught with challenges, standing my ground and expressing myself authentically have become indispensable tools for navigating both personal and professional relationships. And for those who, like me, have struggled with people-pleasing tendencies, know that change is possible. Embracing authenticity and setting boundaries can lead to greater fulfillment and mental well-being.