From People-Pleaser to Powerhouse: Saying 'No' with Confidence and Grace as a Woman Executive

As a woman executive leader, it can be challenging to say no, right?

We often have a deep-seated need to please others and be all things to all people. This behavior is usually rooted in childhood, where we learned to please our parents, friends, and fit in to be loved.?

However, saying yes all the time can lead to burnout and prevent us from achieving our personal and professional goals.?

If this resonates with you, feel free to reserve a 15 minute speed coaching call with me to uncover what is contributing to these experiences in your life and how we can flip the switch to owning your value and writing a new story where you put yourself first.

Click here to book a time that works for you.

In this newsletter, we’ll discuss three simple steps to say no with confidence and grace.?

#1. Create a Clear Vision of Your Life

The first step in setting boundaries and taking back your power is to have a clear vision of what you want your life to look like. Identify your priorities and preferences both personally and professionally.?

If you're used to saying yes all the time, this may be challenging at first because you may not be sure what you want.?

When we're depriving ourselves of what we want for so long, it turns out that we don’t even know what we want any more because we’re so used to saying yes to other people.?

Give yourself permission to want.

Start by identifying what you don't want, and then work backward to determine your priorities and preferences from a personal and professional perspective.?

#2. The Power Pause

So if you're so used to saying yes all the time, it becomes a subconscious default.?

Yes, I'll do this. Yeah, I'll go.

The second you feel yourself wanting to say yes, take a power pause.

Ask yourself why you're saying yes.?

Take a moment to consider if the request aligns with your vision OR if it will take away from achieving your goals.

If you're not sure, ask for more time to think about it.?

Saying "Let me take that into consideration." or "Can I get back to you later today?" gives you the opportunity to make an informed decision and avoid overcommitting yourself.?

#3. Saying No with Confidence & Grace:?

Saying NO doesn't mean you're being difficult or uncooperative. It's an essential skill to learn as a woman executive leader.?

You can do so with confidence and grace using phrases such as "I'm not able to commit to that right now" or "I appreciate your offer, it's not the right fit for me at this time." and align back to what’s important to you, your team and it’s objectives.

The more you take responsibility for things at work, that really other people can do, it turns out that you’re disabling yourself from empowering other leaders to rise up.

Now people are going to know where you stand and what's important to you!

Don't expect them all to like it at first.

You're valuing yourself, you're putting yourself first and you're modeling the way for your team.

Let me give you an example of my client, Annette.?

She is a C level executive and in her own words,...?

“I lost my voice and don't even know what I'm good at anymore”?

It was rooted in her childhood.

She wanted to please her parents, she wanted to please her siblings, she wanted to please her teachers…

Her pleasing was a result of the fact that anytime she wanted anything as a child, her parents would weaponize it.

If she wanted it, they would intentionally take it away so it diminished her ability to even want anything.

She didn't give herself permission anymore.

She lost her voice.

In her words, anger was her drug of choice.

When I asked, “what do you want your life to look like?”

She went blank and then into tears because she had never given herself permission to really dream and even craft a vision of what she wanted her life to look like.

Using these 3 steps and other parts of our work together, she got her full power back. She became confident, she started valuing herself and others started to value her more.

By having a clear vision of what you want your life to look like, pausing before saying yes, and practicing saying no with confidence and grace, you can set boundaries and achieve your goals.?

Remember, saying no allows you to say yes to what's truly important to you.

If this resonates with you, let me know in the comments and feel free to reserve a 15 minute speed coaching call with me to uncover what is contributing to these experiences in your life and how we can flip the switch to owning your value and writing a new story where you put yourself first.

Click here to book a time that works for you.