From Neurodivergence and Anorexia to Entrepreneurship (part 1)

From neurodivergence and anorexia to entrepreneurship

If you didn’t know yet, I have autism, OCD and survived anorexia. These 3 things might not tell you enough about me, but this story will shed some light.

For the first time ever I come out publicly with how my life looked like in the last decade. The good, the bad and the ugly things that happened and turned me into the person I am today (the great). Join me in an atypical story and realize that you only know the tip of the iceberg when it comes to people.

I’ll let you read below about some events in my life that completely changed me.

I’ll start with?

THE GOOD - my childhood.?

Back then everything seemed nice and normal. I was a joyful kid and I remember my childhood as a happy time in my life.?

When I was 3 years old, I had a task in kindergarten - to draw my dream job from when I’ll be an adult. After I completed it, the educator called my mother. It seems I drew a dentist in his cabinet. But the level of detail was the reason for the call, because I drew the chair, the lamp, the patient, everything was there. This might have been the first sign of autism. A sign that passed unnoticed back then. It was clear I was kinda different and also had a big dream for a small child - becoming a dentist.?

At 8 years old I stopped eating sugar. The reason behind it was my oral health. If a food product contained sugar, I was not eating it. I was always checking the ingredient list and stayed on a low-carb diet. It was only later when I found out this was orthorexia, a medical condition in which the sufferer systematically avoids specific foods that they believe to be harmful. But now, when I look back, I can see the signs of my autism, OCD and anorexia. But the neurodivergence was still unnoticeable.?

THE BAD started when I was 15.?

In 9th grade I participated to Earth Sciences Olympics. An interdisciplinary olympics containing 4 subjects: Physics, Biology, Chemistry and Geography. I got a special mention/prize in the national phase. All highschool students could participate, regardless of the year of study. I clearly had a disadvantage, being in the 9th grade. But I’m proud I managed to be on the 32nd place from ~140 highschool students and the 4th among the 9th graders. I was especially interested in anatomy - that is learnt in the last 2 years of highschool - because I could have had the opportunity to enter the Dentistry university without an admission exam if I would have proven myself at the olympics.

In the summer vacation before 10th grade I started to learn more and more about nutrition. While studying more biology, especially anatomy, I also got informed about all the other disciplines for the Olympics from all highschool years.

It was right there - the first sign of my OCD co-related to nutrition. My obsession was on the number of kcal per each type of food. I was never interested in how I look, but I was happier and happier while losing weight.My body was feeling good in the phase of burning my own resources and my energy level was high.?

Anorexia is very hard to understand if you’ve never experienced it. My simplest explanation is that it’s the addiction to not eating.

My OCD was functioning in more areas:

1. eating as few kcal as possible
2. seeing how I’m losing weight.

I was eating around 300-400 kcal per day and moving my body much more than before (I was walking very long distances). I remember I once hiked 28 km in the mountains, with a high kilocaloric deficit. I was moving because I knew this helps me lose weight. Back then, sports were for me a form of getting closer to lesser kilograms, and food was just a number. A distorted reality came down and changed everything.

It was hard to observe it at the beginning, as I was eating 3 meals a day. But it started getting visible when I reached 33 kg, 10 less than I had. My parents tried to help me with medical instruments: nutritionist and psychotherapy, but no method helped. My OCD was stronger than my parents' will. I was informing myself a lot about nutrition and I knew many of the nutritionist’s recommendations were outdated.

And so it happened. At 33 kg and 1,6 m height, with a BMI of 12,89, around October 2017 I was hospitalized for the first time. My parents decided that I should go to a medical consultation, but the doctor decided to keep me in the hospital, as it seemed I was below the survival limit. I was hospitalized for a month and started taking psychiatric treatment with many side effects. Just to tell you a few: lack of control over the limbs, intense shaking of the hands, unwanted and obsessive thoughts, extreme sleepiness, etc. The doctors were also giving me glucose infusions, but, due to anorexia, my veins were bursting to the point it was hard to find any vein. And of course I was forced to eat. Besides all medical efforts, I lost weight during that time and reached 32 kg.

I remember my parents being so worried, and me being 100% optimistic instead. It’s deeply connected with my autism and the lack of fear of dying. I was as convinced that I’ll survive, as the others were convinced that I would die. This changed the perspective from a psychosomatic point of view. If we strongly believe in something, it might somehow happen. We program our mind and bodies day by day without even knowing.

I got out of the hospital with 32 kg. And 1 kg for the BMI I had, was extremely important. And I lost that 1 kg against all medical efforts.

After the hospital, I slowly returned to highschool. I am deeply grateful for my classmates and teachers, for their understanding, and support. Despite missing a lot of classes that semester, I managed to finish that semester with a grade of 10. I managed to keep up with the disciplines, homeworks, and the teachers understood that my absences were justified.?

I managed to regain my weight and reached 42 kilograms with the help of a nutritional plan created by a gastroenterologist, aimed to help me recover muscle mass. This alimentary plan also worked well with my mindset, because I didn't want body fat. So the focus was on building muscle mass.?

However, I experienced a relapse shortly after, around the 11th grade, when my weight dropped back to 35 kilograms.

I switched to a new psychiatrist who recommended a dosage of psychiatric medication that was four times higher. The side effects became extremely intense. The dosages are calculated in correlation with body weight, and the dose I was taking was huge even for a person with normal weight. But somehow, in the meantime, I managed to reach 43 kilograms again.

Intrigued by the captivating tale I'm about to unfold? Brace yourself, for what you've read so far is just the tip of the iceberg! As I poured my heart into crafting this story, I realized that sharing it all at once would make for an incredibly lengthy Newsletter. So, dear readers, prepare to be amazed and astounded as I unravel the Ugly and Great parts that lie ahead.

But wait, there's more! To ensure you never miss a beat and stay updated on every twist and turn, I encourage you to subscribe to my Newsletter. By doing so, you'll be among the first to receive a notification when I finally unleash the complete tale. Trust me, it's a journey you won't want to miss!

Now, I'm sure you're brimming with curiosity. Perhaps there are questions dancing in your mind, eager to be answered. Well, fear not, my inbox is eagerly awaiting your queries. Don't hesitate to drop me a message, and I'll be thrilled to engage in a conversation with you.

Oh, and before I forget, that photo you noticed? It's a snapshot from my cherished childhood, not from the period I mentioned earlier. Just a small clarification to set the record straight.

Thank you for joining me on this captivating adventure, and remember, the best is yet to come!