From Narcissistic Relationships & Co-Dependency To Meeting The Right One

I’m CELEBRATING that LOVED UP feeling today!! Forget the cash bragging posts and the superficial BS – it’s time to really look at connection with ourselves and those around us.

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4 years ago I had gone through a huge break up. Moving house, cities, jobs…. EVERYTHING. Despite ditching narcissistic relationships, I found myself in a highly co-dependant relationship and it’s not something I openly share or talk about.

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I often found myself feeling insecure or highly jealous. I had this feeling of obligation to be with my ex all the time if I wasn’t at work and I would feel moments of dread each time he picked up his phone to text someone whilst we were sitting in the same room eating or watching tv.

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Today… I can look back and feel such relief and gratitude of the work and development that I’ve done over the last 4 years.

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When I got that message “we need to talk” I really thought my life was over. I knew my life needed to change dramatically for me to feel happy, fulfilled and content again. It’s amazing how much strength you can muster up when your life turns upside down. You do whatever it takes to make things work!

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And that’s what I did.

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I stopped looking for myself worth in relationships and realised that I am worthy of love for just being me.

I stopped doing the things that people and society expected from me and instead I defined my own path, understood my own needs and which gave me that sense of peace and fulfilment that I had NEVER experienced before.

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I stopped dating people for my own validation, I stopped dating multiple men – it wasn’t rare for me to go on 3 dates with different men in a week. Instead, I connected with those who were ready for connection, openness and honesty.

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I stopped reading all the blogs and videos saying that you need to do all these things to “make” them fall in love with you. FYI, if you have to MAKE someone fall in love with you – then you’ve already LOST so much more than just “love”.

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I stopped spending hours on dating sites, messaging people and spending hours on the phone because it felt good that someone wanted to speak with me and it was a great way to avoid the feelings of loneliness and processing my own underlying feelings that I stayed super busy to avoid.

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I gave myself full permission to be me.

I gave myself compassion to feel and witness my true emotions as I worked through old wounds.

I realised that I was ENOUGH without TRYING to be enough.

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I became more of who I really am in that process.

I fell in love with the right person and I allowed myself to be loved too.

This created a healthy foundation for our relationship to begin.

We created a sacred union to be seen, loved and connected through all of life’s ups, downs, celebrations and f*ck ups with the permission to make mistakes and the permission to continuously make our lives, connection and love better.

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I truly believe that everyone deserves love but not everyone knows how to get it.

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If you want to be able to have an incredible relationship, with electrifying chemistry and an unbreakable connection then you need to be willing to let go of the desire to control to make something fit your expectations.

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If you want to be in a loving, healthy and long lasting relationship, you need to be willing to give up your need of external validation and instead build that relationship with yourself first!

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If you want to be able to “have it all” within your life and your relationships, you have to let go of playing it safe and small.

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If you want the relationship of your dreams, you need to be willing to take action! Your dream partner won’t drop into your lap and if they did…. You wouldn’t be in a place to really enjoy it or to nurture that relationship in a healthy way. (Trust me, I had to learn the hard way!)

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No matter where you are in life, I and many of my clients are the evidence that you can go from being in highly controlling, narcissistic and manipulative relationships to being in a loving, healthy and long lasting relationship that’s filled with attraction, chemistry and passion.

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You are the one who gets to make that choice.

It’s your life and your rule.

So create a life where you feel the need to ask yourself “am I dreaming? Because this feels too good to be a reality” because that’s when you know you are living the life that you are meant to live.

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Have an amazing Monday and sending you all lots of love <3?