From Mother to Mentor – Lessons from a Superhuman

In this series, professionals thank those who helped them reach where they are today. Read the posts here, then write your own. Use #ThankYourMentor and @mention your mentor when sharing.

When I look back on my life, no one has had a more profound impact on who I am and how I lead than my mother.

I was 12 years old when my father passed away. He owned a small but successful light fixture business in Montreal, and his death meant my mother was left with two full-time jobs: running the company, and running the family.

It was the 1970s – hardly a time known for its legions of female entrepreneurs – and in addition to being the salesperson, book keeper, purchaser and marketer all in one, my mother had to raise three kids, of which I was the eldest.

If you had asked her, she probably would have said that it wasn’t always easy.

But to me, she was superhuman.

Despite the enormous stress of losing her husband and the challenges she would face in the coming years as a business owner, she taught me about resilience, courage and finding internal strength. At the same time, growing up without my father also forced me to become more independent and self-confident, which my mother nurtured in me at every turn.

Hope was always better than worry to her, and bad days were not allowed to define us or derail us. “Tomorrow’s always another day,” she would say, with deep patience and caring in her voice. “Focus on the positive.”

I remember when she encouraged me to get a summer job at the age of 15 because she wasn’t around during the day and didn’t want me to get in trouble. I recall being less than excited by the prospect of working all summer, and I expressed my frustration in typical teenage fashion.

Resigned to my fate that summer, I reluctantly took her advice about staying positive. It turned out to be an amazing experience, as I ended up working for the YMCA as a water polo and kids’ swimming coach. I learned a lot about myself as a result, and have been working ever since.

It seems like such a simple thing to teach a child, but her steadfast belief in hope – and in applying yourself – had a transformative effect on my career and on me as an individual. It allowed me to find comfort in charting my own path, and helped prevent me from giving up when I faced adversity.

I wish she would have had a chance to see where her lessons would ultimately take me. Unfortunately, she passed away in 2013 without seeing me become RBC’s CEO – a role to which I was appointed just six months later.

Today, I often think of her when I’m faced with a personal or business problem, or when a challenge seems insurmountable. Sometimes through careful observation, and other times, frankly, through sheer force of will, I focus on the silver lining and use the resilience she instilled in me to push on.

Tomorrow’s always another day.