From Mom Guilt to Career Triumph: Rethinking the Professional Playbook

If you’re a mom navigating the professional world, you’ve probably encountered tons of advice on how to excel in your career. But let’s be real – much of that advice doesn’t quite fit the reality of being a mother juggling work, family, and everything in between.

We’ve all been told we need to get qualified, build your resume, work hard, network, be visible, use our voices and keep climbing. We’re told to get sponsors and mentors, move up and manage bigger projects and more people. And we’ve done that, and we can still feel like we’re not going anywhere, we don’t know where we want to go. It’s easy to lose our spark for our careers.

Let’s delve into why conventional career advice often misses the mark for moms.

1. The Myth of Work-Life Balance

First off, let’s talk about the elusive concept of work-life balance. Conventional wisdom tells us we should strive for this equilibrium between our careers and personal lives.

But for moms, it often feels more like a juggling act where you’re constantly trying to keep multiple balls in the air.

The reality is that being a mom often means unexpected disruptions – sick kids, school events, or just those moments when your child needs extra attention.

Conventional career advice rarely addresses these unpredictable challenges. Instead, it tends to focus on rigid schedules and time management techniques that don’t account for the fluidity of motherhood.

2. One-Size-Fits-All Solutions

Have you ever read an article or attended a workshop that promised to revolutionise your career, only to find that the strategies offered were generic and didn’t consider your unique circumstances as a mother?

That’s a common frustration.

Conventional career advice often assumes a one-size-fits-all approach, which simply doesn’t work for moms. What works for a single professional or a DINK (Dual Income, No Kids) couple may not be feasible for someone managing the demands of both work and family.

3. Lack of Support Structures

Another glaring issue is the lack of support structures for working moms.

Sure, there’s talk about mentorship, networking, and career advancement. But what about practical support like affordable childcare, flexible work hours, and understanding employers?

Many moms find themselves having to choose between career progression and being there for their families, simply because the systems in place don’t accommodate their needs.

Conventional career advice often overlooks these systemic barriers, putting the onus on individual moms to figure it all out.

4. Guilt and Societal Expectations

Let’s not forget the elephant in the room – mom guilt and expectations.

Society often places unrealistic expectations on mothers, expecting them to excel in their careers while also being perfect parents. Conventional career advice can inadvertently contribute to this guilt by perpetuating the idea that success means sacrificing everything else.

The cookie-cutter advice to lean in, hustle harder, or prioritise career above all else can add to this internal struggle, leaving moms feeling like they’re falling short on all fronts.

Moms are constantly navigating the tension between pursuing their professional goals and being present for their families. The cookie-cutter advice to lean in, hustle harder, or prioritise career above all else can add to this internal struggle, leaving moms feeling like they’re falling short on all fronts.

5. Ignoring Non-Linear Career Paths

Traditional career advice tends to follow a linear trajectory – climb the corporate ladder, take on more responsibilities, aim for that corner office. But for many moms, especially those who have taken breaks from their careers or pursued non-traditional paths, this linear approach doesn’t reflect their reality.

Success isn't a destination; it's a journey of self-discovery, growth, and fulfilment

Moms often have diverse experiences and skills gained from managing households, solving problems on the fly, and multitasking like pros. Yet, conventional advice may overlook these valuable assets, focusing instead on traditional markers of success that may not align with what mothers truly value.

So, What’s the Solution?

It’s clear that the standard career playbook doesn’t offer a comprehensive guide for moms. Instead of trying to fit into moulds that weren’t designed with us in mind, perhaps it’s time to redefine success on our terms.

Here are a few suggestions:

1. Advocate for Change: Don’t be afraid to speak up for policies and practices that support working parents, whether that’s flexible hours, telecommuting options, or onsite childcare.
2. Embrace Flexibility: Recognise that careers don’t always follow a linear path. Embrace flexibility and be open to non-traditional opportunities that allow you to thrive both professionally and personally.
3. Build a Support Network: Connect with other moms who understand the unique challenges you face. Share strategies, offer support, and build a community that uplifts and empowers each other.
4. Define Your Own Success: Success looks different for everyone. Take the time to reflect on what truly matters to you – whether it’s achieving a leadership role, maintaining a healthy work-life integration, or pursuing a passion project.
5. Celebrate Small Wins: Motherhood and career success are journeys, not destinations. Celebrate the small victories along the way and be kind to yourself during the inevitable setbacks.

As working mothers, we stand at a crossroads of ambition and responsibility, constantly challenged by a system that doesn't always acknowledge our unique journey. Conventional career advice, while well-intentioned, often misses the mark by offering solutions that don't resonate with the realities we face.

As working mothers, we stand at a crossroads of ambition and responsibility

It's time to challenge the status quo and redefine success on our terms. We are advocates for change. We embrace the beauty of non-traditional journeys, breaks, and pivots that enrich our lives and careers.

Success isn't a destination; it's a journey of self-discovery, growth, and fulfilment. We define our own version of success – whether it's climbing the corporate ladder, pursuing entrepreneurial dreams, or finding harmony in work-life integration. Each small win is a testament to our strength, determination, and unwavering spirit.

Conventional career advice may fall short, but we rise above its limitations.

We are trailblazers, shaping a future where motherhood is not a barrier but a source of strength and inspiration in our professional journeys.

Together, we rewrite the narrative, creating fulfilling careers that honour our roles as both professionals and parents.

This is our manifesto, our legacy – and we're just getting started.

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