From Lessons to Goals: What I Learned In 2023

Happy New Year!!! 2023 has come to a close. Whether your 2023 was good, bad, tumultuous, or akin to a stale slice of bread, we are all coming into this new year together. As different as everyone's lives seem, we all have much more in common than we think. Whether you're a college student, parent, seasoned professional, uber driver, or waitress, we all run into similar problems, learn similar lessons, and work hard to reach our respective goals.

This past year, I took a step up from 2022. I laughed and cried a lot, but most importantly, I learned a lot. Like many others, I had ups and downs to navigate, but I came out of this year happier, more productive, and closer to reaching my goals. While I can't express everything I navigated this year, I would love to share what changes helped me level up and sustain my progress.

"Changes" may be too strong of a word, as I sometimes struggle with all of these to date, but the most significant "change" was building my awareness around each and making more conscious decisions to be better in each realm.

I Deleted Social Media

We nonchalantly scroll past devastating news and dark humor about misfortune and watch people hurl slurs in comment sections like it's a global sport. All the while, we're not just wasting precious time but also driving our brains towards a state of mental and emotional burnout.

Many of us, myself included, are guilty of mindlessly scrolling through social media. I confess I've indulged in scrolling binges, sinking hours into that digital abyss, more times than I care to count. I'd waste so much yet never feel fulfilled afterward. At my worst, social media had me so overstimulated that reading more than two pages of a book felt like climbing Mount Everest - I'd either lose interest or nod off.

As hard as it is, delete your social media if you can. The world will keep spinning. I have indefinitely deleted TikTok for the last four months. It is the equivalent of cocaine for my brain.?

As per Instagram, I have deleted it from my phone, abstaining from it completely when my life demands greater focus. Now, when I need to check in on friends, do a quick scroll, or post, I use my laptop. This method of accessing Instagram in moderated bursts from my computer has significantly increased my awareness of usage time and has effectively curbed my tendency to doom-scroll.?

The laptop's less convenient nature compared to a phone, coupled with frequent reminders of work like email notifications and open project tabs, naturally promotes limited use. It also makes transitioning back to work tasks easier after using Instagram. This setup allows me to engage with Instagram sufficiently to stay connected and informed, yet it doesn't compromise my productivity and focus. When I do consume content online, I like to make sure it is something that either excites me or promotes my growth. Social media is a great place to learn, but that typically requires more intentionality.

My quality of work and studying has improved, and I have more frequent and quality interactions in person.

Make Specific Goals

Making specific, almost hyper-detailed goals can be a game-changer, especially at pivotal moments like the start of a new year.

Think about what you want: What job do you want? What income do you want? What do you want to wear? What car do you want to drive? What hobbies and experiences do you want to have? Do you want kids, and how financially abundant do you want your life to be?

Now that you know what you want, act accordingly.

Clearly defining various aspects of your life – your career, income, lifestyle, personal possessions, family plans, and even leisure activities – helps you create a roadmap for your life. Knowing what you want allows you to act in ways that are congruent with your aspirations. It's not about constantly working or pushing yourself to burnout. It's about maintaining an awareness of your goals, which helps you make choices that steer you away from distractions and negative influences. For instance, understanding the role of your different relationships and recognizing your habits For instance, understanding the roles of your different relationships and recognizing the habits you would like to develop can be crucial in avoiding paths that lead away from your desired lifestyle. What better time to start visualizing your future than the new year?

Be More Conscious About Whom You Surround Yourself With

You're like a sponge, soaking up everything around you. Depending on how you play it, this can be your superpower or kryptonite. The idea that we absorb the characteristics and attitudes of those around us like a sponge is a powerful metaphor. This concept emphasizes the importance of being mindful of the company we keep and the information we consume. If you surround yourself with friends who echo your ambitions and radiate positivity, staying on course, smashing those goals, and evolving becomes much easier.

If you play sports, have you noticed how you up your game when playing with someone with greater skill but slump when the opponent isn't as acute? Life's the same game. Hang around folks whose life trajectories don't match your aspirations, and guess what? Your trajectory, thoughts, habits, and values morph to match theirs.

I challenge you to start initiating conversations with individuals who daunt you. Those articulate peers whose wisdom seems leagues beyond your grasp. Those brainiacs that might make you feel underwhelmed about where you're currently at. The ones you ADMIRE. Initially, you might feel like a fish out of water, slightly intimidated, but give it a couple of months, and you'll find yourself assimilating and elevating to their level. Along this journey, you'll accrue a wealth of knowledge and cultivate meaningful friendships.

There's a workaround if you find yourself in a phase where such aspirational figures are scarce. You can still induce similar growth by curating your online consumption. Engage with?influencers,?speakers, and creatives navigating paths akin to your aspirations or who have already reached the milestones you yearn for. This digital mentorship can be a powerful tool in shaping your journey.

This approach isn't just a fallback plan; it's a complementary strategy to elevate yourself further. I also recommend doing this, even if you branch out and make more friends you admire and are proud of.

I Started Prioritizing My Health

When you become a CS major or enter any competitive field, there is a peculiar badge of honor associated with minimal sleep and constant busyness. This "no sleep" culture is prevalent and often bragged about, with people boasting tales of 3-5 hours of sleep a night or necessary all-nighters. I, too, have been caught up in this whirlwind, priding myself on my ability to "function" with minimal rest. However, I've since learned to reject this unhealthy status quo and embrace a more balanced approach, especially concerning sleep and general health habits.?

In competitive academic environments, particularly during intense parts of the semester, it became increasingly harder to prioritize proper nutrition, exercise, and sleep. The time crunch eliminated any possibility of cooking a healthy meal or heading to the gym. But as I began to reassess my time management, cutting down hours spent on my phone and committing to shorter, more focused study sessions, I found pockets of time opening up. Suddenly, there was space not just for cooking and eating but also for regular exercise.

Adopting a mindset where nourishing your body through diet and exercise is considered non-negotiable, much like attending lectures or completing assignments, is transformative. It's about treating these aspects of self-care with the same seriousness and commitment. Just as you wouldn't skip a crucial class or ignore a project deadline, feeding your body with nutritious foods and keeping it active should be considered integral to your routine. You probably know this, but prioritizing a balanced diet and regular physical activity benefits your well-being and can enhance your academic performance. It boosts your mood, concentration, and energy levels, helping you be your best self. Rejecting the "no sleep" culture in academics and embracing a holistic approach to health can set you on a path to sustainable success and fulfillment and avoid burnout. It is hard, but it will make a world of difference.

These tips work hand in hand, and I encourage you to implement them or at least build more awareness around them. Monitoring social media usage and setting goals helps you filter your tasks and time. Once you have more time, you can care for yourself better and use your spare time with people who help you be better. And once you nourish your mind and being and build a strong circle, you are better equipped to reach the goals you set. I wish you the best in 2024!