From Lame Duck to Lame Decision: Avoiding College Choice Pitfalls

President Obama is now in his lame duck session, but high school seniors all over the nation are languishing in even greater futility: the second semester of senior year, also known as the “blow-off” or “I’m so done, get me out of here” period.

Admittedly, while I, too, was eager to to move on to the next stage of my life, I found that the last semester of high school was one of the most emotionally draining times of my high school career. I had to make a decision that could–would– change my life, determining my fate to come: college.

I incessantly sought the opinion of my close relatives and friends, asking them where they wanted to see me. But looking back, I realize that relying on the opinions of others, no matter how close they are to me, failed to really get me anywhere and only exacerbated my internal conflict and confusion. Most people only offered up vague generalizations: “You’re such a city girl!” or “It’s such a good school, you should go.” However, my heart was seeking a specific reason compelling enough to assure myself that X college was where I was meant to be.

So now, I would like to share what I hope are three NOT hackneyed or vague personal pieces of advice from my exercise in self-reflection to those who are in the midst of this college dilemma.

1. Make sure to visit the campus before you commit. Ideally, visit each campus when school is in session so you can sit in on a lecture or two. Imagine you're a full time student there instead of a high schooler on a guided group tour. My life mentor, Allison, put it like this: Think of a college visit as a test drive of a car you want to buy. If you like the feel of the car when you take it out on the road, buy it. If you don't, try another one.

As you "test drive" the college, take in your surroundings. You might want to bring a notepad with you so you can take notes of your immediate feelings and observations to refer back to. Beyond the general ambiance of the school, you should actively look for specific hints of what makes, for example, NYU, NYU. And, since your fellow students will often make the college experience for you, observe the students and try to figure out what is the "typical" student at that college.

A recent study reported in The Atlantic suggests that, “there are significant personality differences between students in different academic majors.” For example, the article notes that arts and humanities majors are supposedly, “anxious but not very organized.” Similarly, colleges have significant personality differences often shaped by the prevalence of certain academic majors at the specific college. In the case of NYU, while the university is composed of a diverse and international student body, given that the school is in the heart of New York City, students tend to be sophisticated and either have been or want to be exposed to a cultured lifestyle. Unless you are comfortable with being atypical, you will want to ponder what interests, aspirations and personality traits have caused the student body to self-select into that school and see if you can relate to such a student body on their level.

2. After soaking in the atmosphere of the college, remove yourself from the bustling world and examine what you have observed. Once you’re in a quiet setting where you can think for yourself, close your eyes (yes, really) and imagine yourself at whichever college you have in mind. What is the first emotion that comes to mind and stirs your heart? Is there a spark of excitement? A jolt of anxiety? Mrs. Biehl, mother of one of my friends, taught me this trick, and while filtering out the noise and getting to your heart's true desire requires intense concentration, you have to be honest with yourself. Although this may sound cliched, in order to make the right decision on this, one must listen to one’s heart and be honest.

I myself struggle with the latter-- whenever someone asks me what my biggest pet peeve is, I snort out "dishonesty," when in reality, I often lie to myself to dodge my fears or to match up to what others think of me. I've been told that I seem like a "laid-back West Coast girl," so for a long time I tried to tell myself that that's what I was, knowing full well that I'm not actually that laid-back. I have come to realize that I lie to myself unconsciously to cope with my fear of failure, and only knowing this can I now make decisions that are right for me.

If you want to make the right decision, you have to do what I did and really listen to your heart. So, when you close your eyes and envision yourself at a certain university, be mindful of where your thoughts are coming from and whether they are pure in motive, because motives matter.

3. Lastly, cherish the remainder of your high school career. By the final semester of senior year, I was more than ready to walk out the door only to return for homecoming. The only thing on my mind was life in the City and the fresh start I would get when I started a new chapter of my life. I almost dreaded each remaining day and grew sick and tired of seeing the same faces and enduring the same tired routine of high school.

However, now I miss meeting up with my best girlfriends in the bathroom between class periods, begging my parents to write me a sick note for virtually everything, and knowing everyone’s name in my classes. I wish I had cherished my last days of high school and the people I shared so much with, and that I'd leaned on my childhood friends for moral support rather than adopting such a pessimistic (and borderline haughty) attitude during my second semester. Don't make the same mistake I did. Remember to embrace your remaining days of high school because, once you receive your diploma, high school quickly becomes a distant memory.

Other last minute, short, general tips:

• It’s okay if you don’t know what your major is. Approximately 80 percent of college students change their field of study at least once. College is the time for self exploration and is full of surprises, so you can figure it out as you go.
• Don’t be a lemming. Don’t follow your friends/boyfriend/girlfriend to college (unless of course, you personally like the college). This is YOUR time to shine, you, as an individual. Go where you want to go.
• Once you do come to a decision, open up and introduce yourself to your future classmates on social media. Some people will disagree with this, but I actually made some of my closest friends through social media while discussing common interests the summer before my freshman year at NYU.
• Get a head start on work experience through summer internships. For most of us, the summer before we enter college consists of stalking our future classmates on Facebook and dorm shopping, but I highly recommend any incoming freshman to get a summer internship while you still have ample time on your hands before the whirlwind that is college life begins.
• Take a deep breath and stop panicking. Yes, finding the right college is tough and requires rather deep self-reflection. But at the end of the day, regardless of where you end up, YOU paint the picture; you write the story; you create the experience. You're in control, so take it!

Here’s to the Class of 2020! #StudentVoices

This post was edited by LinkedIn Campus Editor Amanda Proen?a Santos.