From IC to Director - Who Knew Negative Reinforcement Could Be So Positive?

I have a confession to make: I haven’t actually selected my three words to avoid for 2025. Yes, the very person who championed #AvoidThese3Words is currently running on empty—no new negative behaviors to dodge just yet. Why? Because, in all honesty, I didn’t fully expect this strategy to be quite so transformative (that’s probably the downside of “negative reinforcement,” right? When you least expect it to work, it actually does!).

On a more serious note, I’ve decided to take some deliberate time to calibrate myself and my environment before announcing any new “words to avoid.” I’m using this period to reflect on the past year’s successes and challenges, ensuring that the words I choose next truly address what I need to leave behind. By February 1st, I’ll have a fresh set of negative triggers—ones that, ironically enough, will propel me toward even greater growth and stronger self-awareness. In the meantime, consider this my proof that negative reinforcement can indeed have very positive results… which sounds like a contradiction, but that’s exactly the point.

In my previous articles on this topic, I explored the concept of leveraging negative reinforcement as a catalyst for growth. While many find motivational fuel in Chris Brogan’s #my3words approach—focusing on positive words—I introduced an alternative that draws power from actively avoiding three negative words or patterns.

Over time, I discovered an even deeper outcome of this practice: it not only helped me conquer destructive habits like Procrastination, Complaining, and Doubting, it also made me acutely aware of the environment around me. I came to see that my then-current workplace was no longer a good fit for my talents, aspirations, and values. Armed with self-awareness, confidence, and clarity—much of which I credit to #AvoidThese3Words—I left that role and accepted a promotion in a new organization that was greater in scope and responsibility.

Here’s how harnessing the power of negative reinforcement empowered me to make one of the boldest, most transformative career moves of my life.

Recognizing Misalignment Through Negative Cues

In the earliest phase of focusing on my three words—Procrastinate, Complain, and Doubt—I was primarily concerned with changing my own behaviors. My reflections revolved around how these patterns affected my productivity and mindset.

As the weeks passed, something unexpected happened. Each time I successfully resisted procrastination, refrained from complaining, or pushed back on self-doubt, I became more attuned to my surroundings. I noticed how others in my organization responded to challenges and how the workplace culture either encouraged or stifled problem-solving.

• Procrastinate: My drive to proactively address tasks highlighted how frequently my team (and the broader company) would delay or defer decisions. Suddenly, I wasn’t just battling my own procrastination—I was watching a systemic pattern of it play out before my eyes.
• Complain: By halting my own complaints, I became more aware of such behaviors around me and how they resulted in cycles of negativity.
• Doubt: Resisting my own doubts helped me grow in confidence, but it made me realize how often I was surrounded by others who were stricken, themselves.

Every time I recognized a negative behavior within myself and consciously avoided it, I was able to see—often in stark contrast—what was happening around me. This heightened awareness made it clear: I was in an environment that at times ran counter-productive to the improvements I was making for myself. To use a meme phrase- "It did not spark joy."

How #AvoidThese3Words Sparked a Shift

By steering clear of negative habits, I began to see immediate improvements in my work quality, my engagement level, and even my day-to-day mood. As my personal performance rose, I expected that those changes would prompt a similar transformation in my workplace.

To my surprise, while I was evolving, the workplace stayed the same. Far from feeling supported and championed, I felt increasingly out of place. My commitment to quick action, solution-focused thinking, and a “we can do it” mentality was met with skepticism or even passive resistance.

This misalignment became impossible to ignore, and a truth dawned on me: I was not in a position to affect the culture around me, and I likely never would be. it wasn’t enough to change my own habits if the environment wouldn’t embrace my changed self. My growth felt stifled. Every step forward was met by an unrelenting gale attempting to push me backward.

That dissonance became a massive signal, one that might have remained buried if I hadn’t been on such a deliberate journey of negative reinforcement.

Taking Control: Deciding to Make a Change

When it became clear that my workplace no longer met my needs, I had a choice:

1. Stay and continue to struggle, hoping to influence a more significant change over time.
2. Seek a different environment where my growth mindset and evolving skill set could truly shine.

Just a few months prior, I might have chosen the first option out of fear—fear of the unknown, fear of risking my comfortable familiarity, or fear that I wasn’t skilled enough to land a better position. But by avoiding doubt at every turn, I had steadily built trust in my own abilities. I remembered moments when I tackled tasks without delay. I reflected on how, instead of complaining, I had developed and championed meaningful solutions.

All these positive wins, triggered by avoiding negative pitfalls, translated into a profound sense of self-efficacy. I wasn’t just telling myself, “I think I can handle a bigger role.” I had proof: a growing body of work that showcased new levels of productivity, leadership, and perseverance.

Finding an Opportunity

With my doubts quelled and procrastination out of the picture, I set a bold plan in motion:

• I sought greater opportunity where I was, one more time- this effort was quelled fairly quickly, as I expected- the definition of insanity, etc.
• I revised my résumé to highlight not only my accomplishments but the mindset shifts that made them possible, including linking to this very newsletter.
• I networked diligently, connecting with recruiters and mentors who saw the impact of my #AvoidThese3Words journey.
• I showed up at interviews and high-level discussions with renewed conviction and clarity.

Before long, an incredible opportunity emerged—one that demanded a breadth of responsibility and offered the kind of challenges where my growth-driven approach could thrive. Stepping into the interview, I was asked how I dealt with obstacles, frustrations, and uncertainty. My real-life stories of avoiding procrastination, turning complaints into solutions, and overcoming doubt made for a compelling narrative.

I was offered a position with a promotion several magnitudes greater than my current role—more leadership, a larger team, a broader product scope, and direct influence on strategic decisions. What once might have seemed unattainable suddenly felt like the logical next chapter.

The Ongoing Impact of Negative Reinforcement

Making a career change isn’t a simple “happily ever after.” But shifting into this new role has underscored how powerful negative reinforcement can be when it’s used intentionally and constructively:

1. Clarity in Decision-Making Each time I sense hesitation (that old friend, Doubt), I recognize it faster and pivot to problem-solving more swiftly.
2. Proactive Team Leadership Leading a new team means being conscious of Procrastination at both personal and group levels. We set ambitious deadlines, break big goals into manageable tasks, and celebrate quick wins together.
3. Constructive Communication In a healthier environment, avoiding the urge to Complain is easier because there’s a culture of candor and collaboration. We focus on solutions, and any negative feedback is framed as an opportunity to improve processes, not as a platform for venting.
4. Continued Self-Reflection Even in the midst of success, I carve out time weekly to journal about my words. Am I slipping back into old patterns? Are there new triggers to watch out for in this fresh setting?

Conclusion: Embrace the Alarms That Drive You Forward

There’s a certain paradox in gaining so much momentum from what seems like a “negative” approach. But as I learned, focusing on what you must avoid can unlock just as much—if not more—of your potential than traditional, purely positive affirmations.

• By consciously avoiding the pitfalls of procrastination, complaining, and doubt, I uncovered a workplace misalignment that was holding me back.
• By harnessing the clarity and confidence gained from #AvoidThese3Words, I had the courage to seize a higher-level opportunity that aligned better with my aspirations.

I stand by the principle that identifying and steering clear of negative behaviors can ignite progress and clarity in ways you never imagined. It can help you cultivate an environment—both inside yourself and around you—that fosters lasting growth.

If you find yourself stuck or sensing that something is “off,” ask what negative habits might be clouding your vision. Embrace negative reinforcement not to dwell on what’s wrong, but to illuminate what could be drastically better for you in the long run.

Sometimes, your best future hinges on what you are willing to leave behind.