from awesome grief to feelings of gratitude

by Chester Elton with a spotlight on Mohit Misra, Sr. Executive, McKinsey & Company

Over the last two weeks I have had three friends whose fathers have passed away—two to Covid-19 and one to cancer. It is never easy to lose your dad, even if it is expected. I lost my father more than a decade ago, and all those emotions came rushing back when I heard my friends’ news.

Thankfully, for me, the memories of my father are ones that bring me great joy, peace, and laughter. John Dalton Elton was a force of good in my life. Not a day goes by that I don’t recall something he said or did to bring grace and gratitude to someone around him. He was my first gratitude coach. He taught me to be kind and to be of service. And more than anything, he taught me to laugh in hard times and never to hesitate to laugh at myself.

One dear friend who called this week is Mohit Misra, a senior executive at McKinsey & Company. He shared the news that his father had passed away in India from COVID-19. I was honored that he would call, and profoundly moved by the story that he shared about the experience.

It is more than worth sharing:

Mohit Misra: “My dad passed away in Jaipur, India on July 27. He was 83. For 82 years of his life, he had no ailments—no high blood pressure, no cholesterol, no diabetes. Then, he contracted COVID and every ailment became much more difficult to figure until he eventually succumbed. My brother, mother, and I were by his side at home when he peacefully passed away a little after 10 o’clock that morning.?

“I was stricken with grief and sunk into a deep, dark hole. People came to meet us. They were kind and generous in their praise for my dad. They were sad to see him go. The more the mourners came, the more things began to make sense in my head. There was the condolence at losing my dad, there was the odd commiseration that something like this has happened to us, but most importantly, there was a celebration—albeit a muted one—at the life he lived and how much he gave to others.

“As I heard the stories, gratitude began to seep in and replace the grief. I was grateful to have the dad I had. I was grateful that I was able to spend quality time with him in the last few weeks of his life. I was grateful for a strong and supportive family and a culture that encouraged bonding at all levels. My dad was a terrific engineer and entrepreneur, an insightful astrologer, a great teacher, a broad management thinker. He was quintessentially a Renaissance man. He loved art, he respected science, he travelled broadly, he spoke more than a few languages and he always had a love for life. He taught me a great deal, and nothing seemed more important than the concept of gratitude and the importance of karma. ‘Do your duty and be grateful for what you have,’ could be his epitaph.

“Since July 27, this sense of gratitude has made me pivot encouragingly from grief to leading a life in the moment, leading a life with a sense of purpose, and leading a life with meaning for myself and others. It’s been truly liberating.

“I believe that gratitude can be a healing power in our lives. It reminds us of the good people around us, of the good that we can do to encourage and care for those who mean the most to us. I hope this story of grieving to gratitude helps you in your life’s journey. That when you are in those dark places that you will be reminded of the healing power of gratitude.”

I thank Mohit for sharing his story and his friendship, and for the remarkable power of gratitude to help lift us when we are in our darkest hours.

love and gratitude,

If you are looking for a safe place to talk about anxiety at work and mental health, please join us at?We Thrive Together?This is a free community that Adrian and I have started to help people who suffer from anxiety themselves or are managing people who are feeling anxious, burnout, and stress. We share ideas and show up for each other, and everyone is welcome.

I am excited to invite you to check out the latest episode of "Anxiety at Work" podcast. I always say you can't be in a state of anxiety and gratitude at the same time! Each week, my coauthor and dear friend,?Adrian Gostick?and I talk to some of the world’s leading authorities on mental health and explore the causes of workplace stress and anxiety, along with practices that are proven to reduce tension and cultivate calm.

This week we got to talk to our friend Liz Kislik, Management Consultant, HBR and Forbes contributor and Tedx Speaker, about why there is so much conflict at work, and how it impacts anxiety at work and mental health.

I am ever more?#grateful?for precious moments. Just walking with my granddaughter and having that little hand in mine is a precious moment.

What will your moment be today? What are you grateful for in these moments?

#gratitude?#findyourgratitude #leadingwithgratitude #wethrivetogether

THE BOOK CORNER: Highlighting my favorite books. This week, I would like to share The Freedom of Constraints: Turn Obstacles Into Opportunity by my dear friend, Darcy Verhun, president of FYi Doctors along with Marshall Goldsmith, Ayse Birsel, Tasha Eurich, Adrian Gostick, Martin Lindstrom, Erica Dhawan, Sally Helgesen, and Richie Norton.

The Freedom of Constraints?is a ground-breaking book that shows how freedom and success can be found within the challenges you face. Through insights and stories from some of the top business leaders and executive coaches in the world, you will learn how:

• Personal challenges can be converted into personal purpose.
• Pain can be parlayed into advantage.
• Barriers can inspire courage, which can unlock unbelievable innovation.
• Health obstacles can be turned into great personal power.

Full of practical steps and guiding principles,?The Freedom of Constraints?will change the way you look at challenges and open your mind to a new set of possibilities.

Chester Elton has spent two decades helping clients engage their employees to execute on strategy, vision, and values. His work is supported by research with more than 1 million working adults, revealing the proven secrets behind high-performance cultures and teams. He and his coauthor, Adrian Gostick are the founders of The Culture Works, a global coaching, speaking, and training company.

Leading with Gratitude?& Anxiety at Work are available wherever you like to get your books.?Visit?Leading with Gratitude Book?for free resources including videos, podcast episodes, and more, to build a culture of gratitude.