From Good Allyship Intentions to Active Gender Partnership

By?Sandra Ondraschek-Norris,?Vice President, Global Learning, and?Jose M. Romero, Director MARC Alumni Learning and Engagement at Catalyst.

In the workplace, men are expected to be allies of their women colleagues. However, many men are not sure about where to start.?As Catalyst research shows, many men experience?masculine anxiety?and fear saying something wrong. They may have?good intentions,?but their inability to act may end up making a negative impact.

Recently interviewed by Fortune, our Catalyst colleague Sandra Ondraschek-Norris said, "You cannot and you will not ever solve gender equity if you don't fully engage men. You can't fully engage men without understanding masculinity and the impact of gender norms on men. Men have a responsibility to be fully involved as leaders and partners but there's a huge opportunity for them, too. Masculinity can be harmful to men—the workplace isn't working for them either. The first step is to unpack masculinity and acknowledge masculine anxiety—we have to bring men into the conversation sooner and in a way that's safer and is more balanced."

Catalyst’s?Engaging Men?research,?ongoing for over 10 years, has found three main barriers to men’s involvement in more equitable workplaces: apathy, fear, and ignorance.

When asked about his experience of these barriers and tensions, Jose M. Romero shared that he had indeed, in the past, felt excluded from gender equity events organized by and for women.?He explained, "I wanted to genuinely learn from women and learn what I could do to contribute to equity as a man. The other tension I’ve seen is that many men still feel this notion of masculinity—to be aggressive and super competitive—when there are so many ways of being masculine. Across cultures, ages and social status[es], many men feel they want to be vulnerable and show emotions at work but feel that in certain organizational contexts their culture doesn't allow them to be themselves. Unfortunately, many have an internal conflict and end up wearing a mask at work."

The Different Sides of Peer Pressure

Jose added that peer pressure can cut two ways. "Peer pressure can mean men feel they need to laugh at an inappropriate joke when all others do." But in an "equity and inclusion context, men can exercise positive peer pressure and interrupt the comment in an attempt to make the group reflect through dialogue and help change behavior. We could interrupt it by saying something like: ‘Was that really you? I know you and don’t think what you just said reflects who you are.’"

You can read the full interview on?Fortune.com.

Check out our new gender partnership infographic.