From Fear to Growth: How to Embrace Criticism in the Workplace
Vesna Sodnik
?? Communication Coach and Counsellor / Leadership, Integrative and Jungian Coach / Transactional Analysis Counsellor / Motivational Speaker / Professional Certified ICF Coach / EMCC Senior Practitioner
?? What's the thing that most people #fear at #work more than #layoffs? You won't believe it - #feedback, especially in the form of criticism. On the other hand, most employees say that they #miss feedback in the company the most - even if it's critical - because it makes them feel like an important part of the community.
?? Very few people know how to take criticism #well. The reason lies in the fact that the experience of criticism is usually associated with early #childhood, when we perceived our parents' criticism as the truth. For our brains, this was #life-threatening - what if our caretakers left us due to our flaws? This would, of course, mean the end of our existence.
?? If we haven't properly #processed and #reevaluated negative experiences, especially if we have found ourselves in an environment with similar #toxic feedback, any criticism as adults throws us off track (or rather, throws us back into old, #childish tracks). When this happens, we can no longer hear the words of the other person well-intentionedly, but we understand them as a #personal attack. The logical behavior then follows - we attack back, defend ourselves, shift blame onto others ... And who do our brains perceive as parents in adulthood? Any person with #authority and #power - a leader, director, customer...
?? So how do you take criticism better? After all, feedback is inevitable in any work environment - someone will always have an opinion on how you work, behave, speak, perform ... There are two valuable pieces of information in feedback - #reinforcing #good behavior and #changing #bad behavior. But to be able to take criticism better, don't forget about three important facts:
Every criticism is basically a #subjective opinion, so it's good to first consider whether the person is #knowledgeable enough to give you quality feedback. If not, listen to their opinion calmly and, if you want, kindly say, "I understand your point of view, but I kindly disagree with you." ??
2. If two people agree, one is unnecessary.
Always remind yourself that criticism is another opinion and therefore an #opportunity to look at things from another #perspective - a perspective that you may not see yourself. Perhaps there is an idea, an opportunity, a different approach hidden in the criticism ... If so, definitely thank the interlocutor for the good #suggestion. ??
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3. Criticism should build relationships, not destroy them.
When you receive criticism, think about what the comment tells you about the #speaker (e.g. what's important to them, what they want from you, how they see things), because #giving criticism is just as #difficult (or sometimes even harder) as #taking it, so appreciate this act. Look at someone's opinion as an opportunity, even if sometimes a little unpleasant, to #deepen your #relationships with them, as they have obviously taken a step towards a more genuine relationship. ??
?? How do you perceive feedback in your company? Is it part of everyday communication, is it present only when someone explicitly asks for it (such as in annual reviews, after an important presentation), or do you avoid it altogether?
#communication #feedback #growth #criticism #business #team #leadership #relationships #presentations #feedbackculture
?? Communication Coach and Counsellor / Leadership, Integrative and Jungian Coach / Transactional Analysis Counsellor / Motivational Speaker / Professional Certified ICF Coach / EMCC Senior Practitioner
1 年Lidija Dolenc Carotta, MScBA, thank you for your kind words.
Sales Expert, Trainer, Coach, Facilitator, Hypnotherapyst; Developing Synergistic Communication
1 年Vesna, I admire your article! Well written! So important topic ...