From Fear to Fulfillment

Dear Team Joy,

Happy Thursday! As always its a pleasure to be in your inbox.

For a long time now, I have been interested in the concept of success.

I remember being at Schwarzman College, one of the most prestigious communities I have had the privilege of being a member of, at the ripe age of 23. I was surrounded by “success” yet I had the sense then, that even the leaders who were coming to speak to us, who had decades long careers of impressive accolades, didn’t feel successful. There was a hollowness that my young self had trouble naming or grasping.

But later in my 20s I went through my own experience of appearing outwardly successful, yet feeling internally empty and exhausted.

I learned the hard way, that success must be an inside job.

If you don’t feel confident within yourself…no amount of external validation will assuage the dissonance between your heart and your cultivated image.

So, point 1 success is an internal game.

But there’s a point 2. Success is a collective game.

I recently wrote about how the pursuit of external individual success, at the expense of real fulfillment makes us confused, empty, and exasperated.

But when we’re all doing it collectively, we get some pretty terrible collective outcomes:

Short recap:

• 60% of Americans are coping with a chronic disease (CDC)
• 70% of Americans feel disengaged at work (Gallup)
• 50% of Americans report experiencing loneliness (surgeon general’s office)
• We are stuck in cycles of chronic stress. Workplace stress costs the U.S. economy over $300 billion annually in absenteeism, turnover, diminished productivity, and medical, legal, and insurance fees (this is a new data point I discovered from the American Institute of Stress).

All this to say many of us feel unwell, empty, and isolated. But because we’re isolated, we might not recognize that so many of us are experiencing a similar struggle.

I want to be part of helping us build a new way forward. And I have the hunch, that if you’re a consistent Team Joy reader, you do too!

So where do we begin?

We start with us, because that’s what we have the most control over.

Culture is powerful.

So you will need to be a different kind of leader, to create better outcomes for yourself, and for your collective (the teams and communities you influence). It’s an uphill battle to shift from unwell, empty and isolated → well, fulfilled, and connected. But it’s also the work our hearts yearn for.

We yearn for connection, meaningful work, and ease.

But we get scared. We get stuck.

What if I say what I am really thinking and I am judged? Or worse, I am punished?

What if I say no, and people think I am incompetent or foolish?

What if I try to do meaningful work and it turns out I am not very good at it?

What if I am humiliated?

What if I am vulnerable with someone, and they don’t respond in a supportive way? What if they repeat what I said in confidence?

What if I use my voice and share my ideas, and no one listens?

What if my core fears are all true? I’m not good enough, and everyone is going to find out?

I get why you’re scared, honestly. I can write this list so effortlessly, because I have all these thoughts. And the internal voice that’s trying to protect you is right…there will be consequences for your bravery. You will be judged. You will be criticized. You will be ignored. You will be rejected. You will lose connections and opportunities. You will be seen as inauthentic, if you’re being inauthentic.

But also, you can handle it. Because you’ll be learning to play the game differently.

When we are stuck in fear, we create loops of fear in our work and our relationships.

But we’re meant to play a different game.

Love is the frequency we’re meant to play on.

I know. ?? How corny.

Yet I don’t have a less corny answer for you.

When we love, we listen. We have the strength to be honest (even if it might not be in our immediate self-interest). When we love, we take care of ourselves, and each other. We create work that matters to our heart.

My friend Dave shared this quote with me:

Words that come from the heart, enter the heart.

I think it’s true with our work too.

Work that is made from the heart, touches other’s hearts.

It’s connecting with your care, gentleness, creativity, passion, and your voice that will make you feel successful. The “rejection” that comes along the way, will be things to let go of along the way. The people who will align with the frequency you’re on, will be people you treasure and delight in. The people you grow with.

But it requires something from you. You have to take the risk of sharing your softness and your power with the world.

When we stay closed, we might be “safe” but we are left empty. When we open our hearts we feel it all. We strengthen our ability to sit through hard emotions like anger, fear, grief, and shame. Through this openness we reconnect with our joy, love, and peace too.

If you’re intrigued by taking this risk (even if you’re still scared) of leading your life with more bravery, I would love for you to join me at the first Team Joy Practice!

Next Friday, June 28th at 12pm- 1pm EST. There will be 8 spots, first come first serve.

Register here!

This is the discussion group and community, you didn’t know you needed.

Here’s our agenda:

• What it takes to be vulnerable at work?
• How that can transform our lives and our teams?
• Practice
• Closing

If you’re ready to play, grow, laugh, and be inspired I would love to have you.

If you’ve been stuck in the mindset of why can’t this other asshole at work change (I’ve been there many times), I would love to have you.

Keep in mind your presence will add to the experience. You’re not just showing up for you. You are bringing your gifts and insights to others.

Can’t wait!

Much love,

Isabel