From Fear to Fearless: Thriving in the Face of Uncertainty

(Honoured to be invited to the Emerging Leaders Conference of PLDT, one of the Philippines’ largest telecommunication, internet, and digital service companies, on November 20 in Manila. https://pldthome.com )

Many people who know me would describe me as someone “fearless”.

At 21 years old, I went to Harvard Business School even though I hardly spoke English, and I graduated as one of the youngest in class. At 38, I decided to quit a comfortable corporate job to start my own firm and pioneer the headhunting industry in China when there was neither supply nor demand for headhunting in China at the time. When I was 59, I dated someone 27 years younger. And early this year, I authored and published a book, even if I had no idea how to do it. The book is the honest truth of my life story. I feel completely naked in public.

Do these make me fearless? Does that mean I have no fear at all? Quite the opposite.

We all would agree that fear is a human emotion as common and as basic as happiness, sadness, anger, and love. It’s part of being human.

We all fear rejection, we fear failure, we fear danger, and above all, we fear the unknown.

“Am I ever going to be good enough?” is the biggest unknown in our heads. Insecurity has been ingrained in me ever since I was young.

Growing up, I realized that achievements do not stop insecurities, but you should not let insecurity eat you up.

In 2016, a series of events happened and caused me to question myself, my life, and all the decisions I had made that led me there.

So, I decided to escape my circumstances by leaving Hong Kong to a place that’s as far away as possible – Antarctica.

We boarded a Russian ice cutter boat and set sail from Ushuaia, at the bottom of South America, otherwise known as “the city at the end of the world.” We were literally leaving civilization behind to explore the coldest, driest, and windiest place on Earth.

I felt a strange mix of fear and excitement at the same time. Yet, it was in the grip of fear that everything became crystal clear. I was suddenly reminded of this quote that helped me face my fear of venturing into the vast, great unknown. It said:

"To find new horizons, you first have to lose sight of this one."

Sometimes you have to let go of the past, maybe even live in the dark, before you can find new horizons.

This quote reminds us that when we are in the grip of fear or insecurity about what lies ahead, we tend to overlook that uncertainty and possibility are two sides of the same coin.

Not everybody will get a chance to visit a place like Antarctica. It is at the bottom of the world and its extremes have attracted those seeking something beautiful and perfect in its own way. Some found their death there because they'd rather die than not find out.

And that, to me, is the first step to overcoming our fears.

We need to face it and understand what it’s really trying to tell us.????

Be curious! Ask yourself: “What is the worst possible consequence and can I live with it? What am I prepared to lose?”

When I started my own company in China, I was prepared to lose all my life savings.

If the consequence is rejection, can you say: “That’s alright, life goes on.”

The fear of falling in love with somebody much younger is rejection. For me, I will never give up the chance to fall in love.

If the consequence is failure can you learn from it? Remember: failure is rarely the final outcome. It’s part of the process to make you better.

The failure rate at Harvard Business School is high because they screen out the bottom 15% every year, and I was totally unprepared. I decided to go to Harvard, knowing my chance of failing was high because I knew that I would come out stronger.

Sometimes, our fears are just a call to action or a signal to be ready…for opportunities, for growth, for success.

Some of the best innovations and transformations happen after people have learned to face their fear of the unknown and seize the opportunities that come with them.

Today, even if we’ve faced and overcome our fears, how do we thrive in the face of great volatility, complexity, contradiction, and ambiguity?

When I ask my young colleagues, “What are you afraid of about your future?"

Some may say, I guess, that she’s afraid to have children. Because she has no idea how to prepare her children for a future world that will be completely different than the one she grew up in.

Another one might say he’s afraid that AI will eliminate his job and make him obsolete. In Hong Kong and China, many young people would rather “lay flat” than work because what’s the point of working so hard?

When we fear something unknown or uncertain, this is often triggered by thoughts of potential failure or negative outcomes. Remember that these imagined outcomes may only exist only in our heads, and if we give in, they could obstruct our view of the bigger picture and could even become a self-fulfilling prophecy.

Instead, practice empathy and understand what the people around you are afraid of. Or share your fears with them. Empathy allows you to take a step back, see the bigger picture, or simply see it from a different perspective. Maybe you’ll see that you’re bigger than your fears!

When I coach young people about how to futureproof themselves in an AI-driven future, I remind them that change is the only constant, and they will need to upskill, reskill, and cross-skill all the time. You can’t even predict what new skills to learn because the jobs of the future may not even exist yet.

Instead, you can focus on honing skills that have stood the test of time and remain highly transferrable, skills that no matter which company you apply to, the industry that interests you, or the country you want to work in.

First, communication: We have the advantage of understanding emotions and context, and therefore communicate with empathy. For example, when delivering sensitive news, a person can provide comfort and support, whereas AI may lack the ability to offer genuine emotional reassurance.

Second, agility: We possess the physical and mental flexibility that allows us to adapt quickly to new situations and pivot accordingly.

Third, creativity: Humans have the ability to think outside the box, combining ideas in novel ways to produce unique solutions. AI relies on preexisting data sets and inputs and therefore lack the originality.

Fourth is curiosity: Our innate sense of curiosity drives us to explore and seek new knowledge. Ask questions. For example, a scientist's curiosity may lead them to discover groundbreaking advancements, while an AI may only focus on the specific tasks it is programmed for, lacking the inherent curiosity to explore beyond its designated scope.

Job security is knowing you will always have a job, even one that doesn’t exist yet today.

Taking action is perhaps the most important thing when facing uncertainty since you learn with each step you take. Even if you can’t see the path forward, take the first step, and trust that things will become clearer.

Our fear of the unknown is tied to a "fear of outcomes" rather than a "fear of action".

When my company was in dire financial straits after the 1997 Asian financial crisis, I was scared and realized that this was a call to action and decisive leadership was expected. I focused on the actions we needed to take that were aligned with my values – such as treating employees well, choosing not to lay off staff and making sure everyone got paid before I did, and continuing to serve our clients with integrity and competence.

Our value of unselfishness gave us the confidence to take action and make the moves we needed to get back on track -- regardless of how the world responded or what happened in the market because we could redefine what success means to us along the way.

Unselfish may be counterintuitive in the view of uncertainty. Maybe I was just lucky. But I’ve always believed that unselfishness, in the long run, will thrive.

So, do not be afraid to make a decision. Learn to live with the consequences, good or bad, as long as they’re in line with your values. Save your time and energy for people and things that really matter to you. Choose the battles worth fighting. One strong stroke is better than many impulsive ones.

Don’t freeze, don’t stop, and don’t worry that you’re not good enough. It is not human nature to live with our insecurities; our instinct is to run away or to fight them as I have done and continue to do. When I learn to live with insecurity, I find the burden of life becomes lighter. The life of every person, and every company, is one of constant metamorphoses. Metamorphoses remind us that there are no ugly butterflies. To live is to experience the beauty of becoming.