?? From Enthusiasm to Reality: My Journey as an Expat in Germany

In 2010, my family and I took a leap into the unknown, leaving behind the familiar warmth of Romania and stepping into a world that felt like a dream: Germany. We were filled with excitement, curiosity, and that unmistakable spirit of adventure that somehow makes you feel invincible. Our two young daughters clung to us with wide eyes, absorbing every new sight, every unfamiliar sound. A new language. New people. A different rhythm. I held their small hands, assuring them — and myself — that this was going to be an incredible journey. ??

But reality, as it so often does, had other plans.

?? Struggling to Find a Home

Finding a place to live proved harder than we could have imagined. Each rental visit came with polite refusals, the kind that chip away at you in small, quiet ways. I could see it in the way people looked at us — a mix of curiosity and hesitation. It was one thing to navigate a language barrier; it was another to see that language barrier become a wall. Our applications were often turned down, and I could feel their doubts — they wanted German speakers, not just for convenience, but because we were somehow “different.” I would explain, as politely as possible, that we were learning, that we wanted to belong. But it never seemed enough.

?? Everyday Interactions, Everyday Hurdles

Everyday interactions felt like small mountains to climb. At the Ausl?nderbeh?rde (immigration office), even the word itself felt like a reminder that we were outsiders. The forms, the conversations, the unspoken expectation to just understand — it was overwhelming. English didn’t get us very far, and my daughters, who had grown up surrounded by friends, family, and a language that embraced them, now found themselves in a world they couldn’t understand.

Each day, they’d return home from kindergarten and school, their eyes filled with tears and frustration, their voices so small when they told me, “I don’t understand what anyone is saying, Mama.” ??

?? A Moment of Unexpected Connection

One day, my husband took the kids to the local swimming pool, hoping a bit of splashing around might distract them from feeling so out of place. Suddenly, out of nowhere, our daughter heard two young women speaking Romanian. Her face lit up as if she’d just found buried treasure, and without a second thought, she darted over to them.

Next thing my husband knew, our daughter was proudly dragging these two very surprised young ladies across the pool to him. There he was, standing with two strangers and two delighted little girls who had finally found someone who understood them. My husband, completely baffled, had no idea what to say or do as he tried to process why his daughter had essentially “recruited” two new friends for him, right there in the middle of the pool. ??

Our daughter, with her bold spirit, immediately started chatting with the young women in her own mix of Romanian and her newly learned German phrases, sprinkling in her favorite words to impress them. Meanwhile, my husband, usually calm and composed, was caught between laughter and disbelief, trying to keep up with the unexpected introduction. For her, it was simple: she saw an opportunity to connect and went for it, as only a child with boundless confidence could.

This boldness, combined with her adorable attempts at German, made her everyone’s favorite in no time. While my husband and I struggled to make ourselves understood with fluent English, our daughter — armed with a handful of mixed languages — somehow managed to charm everyone around her. It was a funny and heartwarming reminder that sometimes, belonging is more about courage and openness than it is about language skills. ??

???? Learning to Belong, One Step at a Time

But it wasn’t only them. There were countless times in stores or in public places when I was told, “You’re in Germany; you should speak German.” It stung more than I ever expected. We had been there barely two weeks, yet there was already an expectation that we should somehow know everything — know the language, know the culture, blend in without a second thought. Each interaction seemed to echo that same sentiment, and it started to feel like an unending test we were destined to fail.

And yet, through all the struggle, there was a light — Germany was safe, clean, organized in ways that promised stability for my family. I reminded myself of why we had come, the opportunities we hoped to give our children, the life we wanted to build. But the ache of missing everything that was familiar, the foods that reminded me of home, the laughter of friends, and the comfort of family was there, ever-present.

? A Milestone of Belonging

Six years later, we finally reached a moment I will never forget. We stood together, my husband, my daughters, and I, receiving the papers that made us German citizens. That day wasn’t just a formality. It was the culmination of years of resilience, of every tear, every triumph, every small victory that led us to that moment. Holding that paper was like holding every part of our journey, knowing that all the struggles were worth it because, at last, we belonged.

??? Would you share that unforgettable moment when it finally felt like home in a new country? I’d love to hear what made all the challenges feel worthwhile.

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