From Darkness to Light: Overcoming Bullying

Bullying: Why Does It Exist?

I wanted to share something personal with you, something that's been on my mind. It's not the easiest thing to talk about, but I feel like it's important, and I value your friendship and understanding. It's about bullying – something that, unfortunately, touches so many lives. It's more than just a word; it leaves lasting scars emotionally and physically, and it's time we really talked about it, understood it, and figured out how we can make things better.

?What Is Bullying?

Before I share my own experience, let's understand more about what bullying actually is. It's not just kids teasing each other on the playground. Bullying is a repeated and intentional act of harm, whether it's physical, verbal, social, or online. It's about power and control, and it can take many forms.

The truth is bullying is far more common than we often realise. Did you know that globally, around 1 in 3 young people have experienced bullying? In school settings, approximately 1 in 4 students are regularly bullied. And it doesn't stop in childhood; nearly 20% of adults report experiencing bullying in the workplace. With the rise of technology, cyberbullying has become a huge issue, with over 70% of young people having experienced online harassment.

These aren’t just numbers; they represent real people, real experiences, and real pain. Sadly, I know this pain firsthand.

Here are some sobering statistics to ground the discussion:

• Global Bullying Prevalence

According to UNESCO, approximately one-third of young teens worldwide have recently experienced bullying. UNESCO

• Bullying Among UK Youth

In the UK, data indicates that one out of every five (20.2%) students report being bullied. PACER CENTRE

• Workplace Bullying in the UK

Workplace bullying is a significant concern in the UK. A YouGov poll for the TUC revealed that 29% of workers have experienced workplace bullying at some point, equating to nearly 3 in every 10 workers. AGENCY CENTRAL

• Cyberbullying Among Youth

The World Health Organization (WHO) reports that one in six school-aged children experiences cyberbullying, with a concerning increase observed between 2018 and 2022. WORLD HEALTH ORGANISATION

?My Story

Let me take you back to Stellenbosch, 1990s. I was working as a chef, and my flatmate was a waitress at the same restaurant. One night, after a long shift, we decided to grab a nightcap. It was a normal night, or so we thought. On our way, we encountered two seemingly lost guys in a car park. We offered to help them. Initially, they were friendly, even putting an arm around me and laughing. But then, everything changed in an instant.

Without warning, I was pulled down and punched in the face. They started kicking me repeatedly. I lost consciousness.

?Waking Up in Darkness

When I came to, it was terrifying. I couldn’t see, I couldn’t move. My mom was there, crying, but I couldn't even open my eyes to see her. I was in a coma. The injuries to my head were so severe that the left side of my body was paralyzed. The doctors told me I would have to relearn everything – how to walk, talk, everything. It felt impossible.

But deep down, I knew I couldn't give up. I want to live be happy and I promise that I will smile every day to show that I am thankful to be alive.

Choosing to Fight

When life throws you to the ground, you have a choice: stay down or get back up and fight. I chose to fight. It was incredibly difficult. Every step, every word was a struggle. But with the unwavering support of my family, friends and a deep inner strength, I pushed through.

Those dark days taught me an invaluable lesson: no matter how desperate things seem! You are stronger than you think.

?Why Do People Bully?

So, why do people bully? It's complicated, but basically, it often comes down to their own life issues. They might be insecure, jealous, or just trying to feel powerful. Studies show that bullies often have low self-esteem themselves, and they use bullying to try and feel better about themselves. Sometimes it's about social status, wanting to be on top in their group. And sadly, some people who bully have seen violence or aggression at home, so they think it's normal. Some might even struggle to understand how much their actions hurt others.

Bottom line? No matter the reason, bullying is never okay. Knowing why it happens doesn't excuse it. What matters is how we react to it. That's where we can make a real difference.

The Damage Bullying Causes

Bullying really messes people up. It can cause serious anxiety, depression, and make you feel totally worthless. For kids, it can turn school into a nightmare. For adults, it can wreck their careers and relationships. And with cyberbullying, there's no escape – it follows you home, where you are meant to feel safe.

But here's the thing I want you to remember: the pain they cause doesn't define you. Your strength and how you bounce back, that's what matters.

Finding Hope

Even after what I went through, I refuse to believe that the world is inherently bad. For every bully, there are countless good people who offer support and lift others up. I’ve experienced it myself.

If you're going through bullying right now, please know that you are not alone. I’ve been there – feeling scared, angry, and hurt. But trust me, things can and do get better. You are stronger than you believe, and there are people who care about you, even if it doesn't feel that way right now. You have the strength within you to be brave and take that first step. Reach out to those who you trust and love. Remember, a problem shared is a problem half solved, a clique I know, but you get the point.

How We Move Forward

Bullying is a harsh reality, but it doesn't have to control our lives. We can fight it. We can stand up for others. We can create environments – in schools, online, workplaces – where kindness triumphs over hate.

So, I have a few thoughts I want to share:

• If you witness someone being bullied, speak up.
• If you know someone who is struggling, reach out to them.
• And above all, choose kindness.

Together, we can make a real difference.

Thank you for listening. This isn't just my story; it's a story for all of us who have been hurt and have fought back. Let's continue fighting, together.

“Each of us deserves the freedom to pursue our own version of happiness. No one deserves to be bullied.” – Barack Obama