From control to connection: embracing the power of relationships in supporting children's wellbeing
The belief that a person can successfully and more importantly sustainably 'manage' the behaviour of another person is flawed... It just doesn't work.
In the world of education and children's services, behaviour management has long been considered essential for creating a smooth and orderly environment.
Behaviour management (which is based on a traditional behaviourist approach) is a term used to describe the set of strategies, techniques and principles used to control and shape human behaviour.
It is often associated with classical conditioning and operant conditioning, both of which involve using rewards and punishments to shape behaviour.
The primary objective of behaviour management is to achieve compliance and conformity.
But, the concept of behaviour management is inherently flawed and outdated, as it fails to acknowledge the complexity of human behaviour, the individual differences that exist between people and life experiences.
Behaviour management is typically based on the assumption that people can be controlled through external stimuli and rewards, such as praise, punishment, or incentives.
However, what it doesn't recognise that human behaviour is influenced by a wide range of both internal and external factors, including emotions, motivations, personality, culture, context, relationships and environment.
Therefore, the external control of behaviour is likely to be superficial and short-lived, as it does not address the underlying factors that shape a child's external behaviours.
Behaviour management assumes that the person in authority, such as a teacher or a parent, has the power and the right to control the behaviour of the other person.
This can lead to a power imbalance and a lack of respect for the autonomy and dignity of the other person.
It can also lead to a lack of empathy and understanding of the other person's perspective and needs as well as creating an unsafe environment.
There is a growing body of evidence to suggest traditional behaviour management is not effective, especially for children who have trauma or Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs).
A relational approach, on the other hand, emphasises the importance of relationships and recognises the impact of ACEs on children's development, the way in which they navigate the external world and how they form relationships with others.
A relational approach is based on the belief that children are motivated to learn when they feel safe, valued, nurtured, respected and supported.
It is now well-established in both clinical and professional practice that ACEs can have a significant impact on the developing brain, leading to a wide range of physical, social, and emotional problems later in life.
A relational approach focuses on building trust, secure attachments, safe and positive relationships, providing opportunities for choice and control and creating an environment that is sensitive to the unique needs of children (rather than using fear and control to manage behaviour) and encourages children to take ownership of their own learning and experiences.
By shifting the focus from behaviour management to relationship building, we can provide a more nurturing environment for our children to thrive.
This approach fosters a positive environment that promotes learning, growth, and development, while also recognising the importance of emotional and social aspects of child development.
By adopting a relational approach, we can create a safe and supportive environment that values each child and empowers them to take ownership of their own learning and growth.
As our professional practice continue to evolve and adapt to the needs of children, a relational approach must now be considered the most successful and sustainable approach which creates better outcomes for our children and increases both their quality of life but their quality of access to services.
Instead of focusing on the external control of behaviour, we must adopt a more child-centred approach to connections and relationships which promote empathy, understanding and respect for the autonomy and dignity of the everyone.
So, here are some of the benefits of a relational approach over a traditional behaviour management:
We need to work together to create a world where everyone has access to the protection, support and resources to thrive in life.
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Montessori Certified for Infant/Toddler
2 年I love articles that explains what I do. I can't find my own words for my actions and connections. That is the power of reading. Thank you Marcus for sh aring this article. #connections
Montessori Certified for Infant/Toddler
2 年Thanks for sharing