From Comfort to Complexity: Leading from Within

Lessons from My First Year as an Independent Professional

A year ago, I took 'THE' leap—started my long-wished journey as an independent facilitator, consultant and coaching. What I didn’t fully realize then was that this journey wouldn’t just be about building a business; it would be about reshaping who I am. As I reflect back, this past year has been a profound exploration—not just of my work, but of myself.

As an ontology and adaptive leadership expert and learner, I am using these as my twin my twin guides. Ontology reminded me that transformation starts with being, not just doing. Adaptive leadership taught me that the path forward isn’t found—it’s created through experimentation, discomfort, and learning.

From Stability to Ambiguity: The First Challenge

One of the first things I had to let go of was the idea of certainty and "busyness". In a job, there are clear goals, calendars are packed with meetings and a team to collaborate with. Initially, as an entrepreneur there were days when I wondered, what am I doing week? Am I doing this right? or even, What does ‘right’ even mean?

Harvard’s Ronald Heifetz, a pioneer in adaptive leadership, describes this shift perfectly:

"Leadership is about disappointing your own people at a rate they can absorb."

In my case, leadership was about disappointing my own self—letting go of old expectations of linear growth and predictable success. The discomfort wasn’t a sign of failure; it was the work itself.

The Power of Embodied Presence - The Second Challenge

One of the most profound lessons from ontology is that transformation happens in the body before it happens anywhere else. I saw this play out in my work with clients. One moment, in particular, stands out:

During a session, a client was struggling with self-doubt about stepping into a bigger leadership role. I asked, “What happens in your body when you think about this role?” They paused, exhaled, and said, “I feel my shoulders drop and my chest open up.” That physical shift revealed something their words couldn’t—underneath their doubt was readiness.

I realized I had been on a similar journey. My own doubts about being ‘ready’ for this independent path weren’t intellectual problems to solve but embodied experiences to move through.

Experimentation Over Perfection - Third Challenge

For those who know me well, this one was one of the toughest for me. One of my reflections from this year:

"Clarity doesn’t come before action; it comes from action."

With my practice of yoga, meditation and ontology, I learned to recognize and work my emotions of excitement, self-doubt and fears, instead of resisting them. Also, the way I spoke about my work, to others and to myself, shaped my experience. Shifting from “I hope this works” to “I am committed to this path” was a powerful reframe.

Lessons I’m Taking Forward

1. Discomfort is a sign of growth, not a reason to stop.
2. Leadership is less about knowing and more about being.
3. Sustainable impact comes from alignment, not overexertion.

This first year has been about finding my own leadership edge—balancing action with presence, ambition with sustainability. As I move forward, I hold onto one core belief: True transformation isn’t about adding more; it’s about becoming more of who we already are.