From Codependent to Interdependent

Co-dependency is a word and energy that?trailed me for most of my life. After my childhood, I was left with a hole in my heart and soul?that I subconsciously believed could only be filled by another.?So uncomfortable were my feelings when I was alone, so fearful was I that I would be abandoned not only in my adult intimate relationships but also in my friendships, that I became a control freak. But not only did I try to control people so they wouldn't leave me, but I also gave up my power as a woman.

I became scared to say NO because I feared I would be rejected, and I feared?not being needed, so I tried to fix everything for everyone, I became hyper-focused on everyone else being?ok, and abandoned myself time and time again.

As I put others first. My self-love became?none existent, and my self-worth fell on the floor, A sad declaration that still shocks me. I spent over 30 years leaving myself, it's ironic really when I was working?so hard for others?not to leave me.

At one time I was so obsessed with a relationship not failing, I could barely think of anything else. My business suffered, and my finances suffered. My mental health was declining as my self-care diminished. And anxiety became the norm. It was only after all this that I finally realised I needed help. I was at rock bottom and I knew if I allowed things to go any further, I was going to lose everything. Including my mind.

It's so strange to think that the trauma of the past, had left me with such strong memories and feelings that I was a prisoner of it. The feelings I often experienced were so strong, they would send me into a wild panic, where my chest would thump, my breath becomes?shallow and the tension in my body would rise, until the point where I would have to have a drink, smoke a cigarette or take some medication. But this is the truth behind codependency, it rules your mind and body, and it encourages you to stay in a false sense of safety with people who aren't right for you, and are?in their own co-dependent cycle too. Just because you believe anyone is better than you and that you don't deserve what your authentic self wants.?

I was so preoccupied with what he needed, I forgot what I did.?

You may be wondering how I got back from such a place and I won't lie and tell you, it didn't take?work, because I am still doing work every day. But it's not hard work, it's just a set of practices, that keep my energy within me. That keeps me connected to my authentic self. It's actually work I enjoy and love to teach others also.

You see my pain in this instance?actually became my passion, a conscious decision during my healing journey, that led me to train in the therapies and coaching which would help me to help others not live in such a painful place.

Because after all love does make the world around, but it's the love of self too, not just that of others.

When you work with me, I will not only help you gain that deeper awareness of why you do the things you do but also help you to heal and let go of?all the negative beliefs about yourself and your capabilities. Release the energy of the past and its hold over you. So you can re-connect with who you truly are and stand in your truth. So you can energetically attract a relationship, that is loving, fulfilling and healthy from both ends.

To find out more about how you can leave codependency let's explore together-

https://connectedtoself.com/book-a-free-consultation-with-me/?

Sending much love

Nic xx