From Clicks to Connection

In 2014, a phishing scheme allowed four hackers to access nearly 240 Apple iCloud accounts, exposing users’ personal information. Among the victims were celebrities like Jennifer Lawrence, Kate Upton, and Kristen Dunst, whose private photos were leaked online, creating a scandal that shocked millions. George Garofano, the last of the hackers, was sentenced to eight months in prison, followed by three years of supervised release. His lawyer said Garofano felt deep remorse: "When he gets behind a computer, he forgets what he does impacts other people.”

This is a striking example of “cyber-disinhibition,” a phenomenon where online behaviour diverges drastically from how we would act face-to-face. Why does this happen? Our brains evolved for face-to-face interactions, where we get instant emotional feedback that allows us to gauge the impact of our words and actions.

Each social interaction triggers our emotional centres to respond to cues like facial expressions, tone of voice, and body language, which help us intuitively adjust and respond with empathy. Online, however, we lose this real-time feedback loop and with it, the emotional information that naturally guides us toward thoughtful interactions.

When we communicate online, we’re cut off from these essential cues. Our prefrontal cortex, which usually helps us manage impulses, has less to work with, and as a result, the emotional “brakes” that help us consider the impact of our actions are weakened. This disconnect can lead to moments of impulsivity we wouldn’t otherwise experience, driving people to make harsh comments, leak private information, or engage in thoughtless behavior—actions that would feel unthinkable in person.

In the workplace, this same effect plays out every day. When interactions are mostly digital, communication can lose the empathy and warmth that come naturally in person, and relationships may become transactional. Misunderstandings escalate, and team bonds suffer. Without in-person cues, like a reassuring smile or a pause to listen, collaboration can feel impersonal.

To bridge this gap, video calls and phone conversations are vital tools, especially for complex discussions or emotional topics. Even some tech companies in Silicon Valley ban laptops and phones during in-person meetings to promote full attention and face-to-face focus.

Simple texts and emails, while quick and efficient, often carry a “negativity bias.” Messages that seem positive to the sender may come across as neutral—or even hostile—to the recipient. Adding a personal touch, like warmth and encouragement, can ease this bias and foster a more positive work environment. My wife encourages me to make emails more personal for precisely this reason—it can make all the difference.

As technology advances, we can look forward to innovations like holographic messages that may bring some of this missing empathy into digital spaces. But even with technology, nothing fully replaces the human connections that we build through real, intentional interaction.

By choosing to communicate thoughtfully, and using methods that bring us closer to face-to-face experiences, we can cultivate empathy, minimize misunderstandings, and build the supportive, effective teams that make work meaningful. Real connection is not just a “nice-to-have”; it’s essential to understanding, trust, and collaboration—and to a thriving workplace culture.