From childhood & beyond: navigating the crucial challenges of parenthood

As we near this year's MAD Youth Summit on February 15, as a parent I find myself reflecting not only on how children develop, but also how we develop in line with their growth.

A near-universal complaint by young adolescents is that their parents don't give them enough space to make their own decisions. As they reach the age of legal adulthood, parents the world over are familiar with, "I'm 18 now - I should be able to do whatever I want." If not verbally expressed, some parents I speak to assure me that the sentiment is nevertheless demonstrated in others ways.

In my reflections, I realise something that's often not discussed between parents and their children: while we parents watch our children grow from birth (too quickly, sometimes!) we try to adapt and cater to their needs through many changes. It's not an easy process. On the other hand, from our child's perspective, we remain static and unchanging: always in the role of parent and all it entails.

As a result, children needn't deal with the strange experience of seeing us change every few years; however, parents are constantly presented with changes in their kids. I've heard many describe the challenge as a rewarding experience, and some have described each stage of their child's life as "almost like learning to parent again just when you think you've sussed it all out."

In an article for NBC News, popular podcast host and CEO of Life, Listened, Meagan Francis talks about her insights into parenting beyond childhood - the time after which new parents can believe they'll be able to relax a little. As Francis points out, as kids get older parenting becomes a new learning experience on striking the balance between allowing a degree of independence and exerting parental influence where necessary. It's an important balance to strike if our children are to continue to feel they can confide in us without too much judgement.

Francis writes, "...my boys do want to talk to me — but I’m never quite sure how to be available and yet age-appropriately detached. I don’t want to pry too much into their personal lives, and yet I want to make sure they’re taking good care of themselves. That makes it only too easy for our conversations to devolve into nuts-and-bolts mini-nags, asking about their bank account balances and whether they’ve renewed their car registration yet."

Approaching how we parent through each stage of our children's lives is a challenge: there's no such thing as the perfect parent, so we need to let go of the expectation that we can parent perfectly. At an early age, our children might not understand our flaws, but of course we're reminded of them every day as we try our best to do our best.

At the MAD Youth Summit on February 15, I'm looking forward to meeting parents during the talks and workshops that are designed to enhance our communication skills and develop stronger, more understanding relationships with our kids. If you're a parent and would like to attend this free event, please do register here and click the link for parents at the top right-hand corner of the page.

We have a full day programme just for parents who can engage with world-class experts on a range of parenting topics. We also encourage dialogue and interaction during and after each event if you'd like further information on a specific topic. Our speakers, along with our team and partners, are happy to be on hand to support parents in any way on the day, and it's a privilege for me to learn as much from fellow parents as they learn each year from the event.

I'm looking forward to seeing and meeting many of you at the MAD Youth Summit. In the meantime, remember: just as we need to allow our children room to learn and grow and make mistakes, we should afford ourselves the same courtesy. Parenting is never about being perfect; it's about doing what we can to help our kids to grow physically, emotionally, intellectually and socially. It's a challenging role, and one that we most cherish. It might not be easy, but it's our biggest blessing and during the MAD Youth Summit we can all come together, learn from each other, and support one another through the valuable journey of parenting.

See you there!

Roshan Thiran is the Founder & CEO of Leaderonomics — a social enterprise working to transform lives through leadership development. Connect with Roshan on Facebook and Twitter for more insights into business, personal development, and leadership.