From Chaos to Calm: A Short Guide to Emotional Regulation

Emotional regulation is the ability to manage and respond to emotional experiences in a healthy and adaptive way. Emotional dysregulation, on the other hand, involves difficulties in managing emotional responses, which can lead to intense emotional outbursts, impulsive behaviors, or prolonged negative emotions.

Recognizing the signs of emotional dysregulation and applying researched methods from psychotherapy can help individuals gain better control over their emotions and improve their mental well-being.

Signs of Emotional Dysregulation:

Understanding the signs of emotional dysregulation is the first step toward addressing it effectively. Common signs include:

• Frequent Mood Swings: Sudden and intense changes in mood, from extreme highs to deep lows.
• Impulsive Behaviours: Acting on impulse without considering the consequences, such as reckless driving, stress eating, provoked reactions to an event or going to substances for emotional pain numbing.
• Difficulty Calming Down: Struggling to soothe oneself after becoming upset or angry, leading to prolonged emotional distress.
• Overwhelming Emotions: Experiencing emotions that feel uncontrollable or disproportionately intense in response to situations.
• Trouble Identifying Emotions: Difficulty recognizing and naming one’s own emotions, leading to confusion or feeling emotionally overwhelmed.
• Chronic Anxiety or Depression: Persistent feelings of anxiety or depression may also point to underlying emotional dysregulation.
• Frequent Somatic Distress: Experiencing shortness of breath, muscle tension, fatigue, increased heart rate, gastrointestinal issues, stress induced back or shoulder aches and pain-body which can feel like residual emotional pain in the body from unresolved emotional conflicts coming from childhood trauma or past relationships.

Psychotherapeutic Methods to Improve Emotional Regulation:

Several evidence-based psychotherapeutic methods have been proven effective in helping individuals develop emotional regulation skills:

1. Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT) & Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT)

REBT & CBT are both one of the most widely used forms of psychotherapy coming from the same school of Cognitive Psychology. REBT is often credited to be the ‘first form of CBT’ founded by Dr. Albert Ellis in the mid 50s whereas CBT came up later founded by his contemporary Dr. Aaron Beck around the 70s. They both focus on proven strategies to help resolve pain points through cognitive restructuring techniques – by identifying distortions connected to deep negative emotions, rehearsed and practiced self-talk and how to change it to healthy Rational Belief systems by enabling people to apply critical and logical thinking styles in practice, so that they can connect with functional negative emotions in experience of unpleasant events.

2. Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT)

DBT combines elements of CBT with mindfulness and acceptance strategies and provides tools to identify, label, and manage emotions effectively. It teaches ways to cope with distressing situations without resorting to impulsive or self-destructive behaviours. It focuses on being present and fully experiencing emotions without judgment, reducing emotional reactivity.

3. Emotion-Focused Therapy (EFT)

EFT is a therapeutic approach that encourages individuals to become more aware of their emotional responses and the meanings behind them. It focuses on how to achieve emotional transformation by changing maladaptive emotions like shame or fear, into more adaptive states of mind like self-compassion or assertiveness, promoting self-acceptance and emotional healing.

4. Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT)

ACT teaches acceptance strategies of difficult emotions rather than avoiding or suppressing them, reducing emotional struggle. It also focuses on committing to actions aligned with personal values, which can provide a sense of purpose and direction, reducing emotional disturbance and also teaches diffusion techniques to detach from unhelpful thoughts and emotions, viewing them as passing events rather than absolute truths.

A Word of Caution:

Please check the credentials of your therapist – whether they have Certifications from credible Institutions that are recognised by global bodies like the APA (American Psychological Association) or BPA (British Psychological Association) in any of the psychotherapeutic approaches they claim to practice. I often get asked if its okay to ask to see certifications by clients – Yes, you can ask to see them, to safeguard from malpractice without feeling embarrassed about asking for it. And authentic practitioners should ideally have no issues showing their certifications or body of work to you. In addition, I often ask clients to check for their work online, on Websites, read about the therapy they are claiming to practice before booking a session, as precautionary measures on quality control.

Practical Tips for Everyday Emotional Regulation:

In addition to formal psychotherapy, there are practical strategies that individuals can use daily to enhance emotional regulation:

• Building Awareness of Negative Conclusions & Inferences: Paying attention to the kind of inferences we form when we are upset by events and the kind of habitual conclusions we form about them, expanding disturbances. Learning to bring more balanced perspectives which are not necessarily positive but rather realistic with acceptances.
• Maintaining a Purposeful Journal: Keeping a journal to track emotions, triggers and the conclusions and inferences formed about personal triggers can provide insights and help identify patterns that contribute to emotional dysregulation. Being aware of not journaling simply to rant about negative emotions (although sometimes doing just that can offer catharsis and release), however if only left to that, can also expand negative feelings.
• Practicing Mindfulness Meditations: Regular mindfulness practice by observing the self can help increase awareness of emotional states and improve emotional control.
• Developing Healthy Supportive Habits: Engaging in physical exercise, relaxation techniques, or creative activities can help manage stress and regulate emotions with a healthy work-life balance focused on self-care and me-time for self-reflections.
• Gratitude Practice: Cultivating acknowledgement of positive aspects of life by regularly listing things you’re also grateful for amidst other things.
• Thought Stopping: Interrupting repetitive, distressing thoughts by mentally saying “stop” and redirecting focus. Practicing to becoming aware of rumination.
• Problem-Solving: Identifying actionable steps to address the source of stress or discomfort and what can be done to change aspects of the environment that can be changed.
• De-catastrophizing: Re-evaluating the impact of feared outcomes to bring down anxiety by building self-assurance around one’s handling capacity of outcomes.
• Building a Support System: Seeking support from friends, family, or a mental health professional can provide comfort and guidance in managing difficult emotions.

Lastly, emotional regulation is a critical skill for maintaining mental health and well-being and takes practice along with knowledge. Consistent practice can help improve emotional quotient or the EQ and is a faculty of mind that can be developed through directed effort making, extremely beneficial in all aspects of life, whether personal or professional.

Having conducted many Emotional Intelligence (EI) Corporate Training Programs and Employee Counseling Programs which we offer at AltMindShift to Companies through evidenced techniques in REBT for employees, through 15 years of my practice as a psychotherapist, it has helped to enhance teamwork, communication, develop more compassionate and empathic leadership and conflict resolution skills in individuals.

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About the Writer:

Rajita Ramachandram

Founder & Head Psychotherapist (practicing for 15 years)

Corporate Wellbeing Consultant,

Emotional Intelligence Speaker,

Associate Fellow of Albert Ellis Institute, NY, USA,

AltMindShift.

+91-9967035943

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