From Carefree to Caregiver: A Journey Through Life’s Greatest Role

Are you a youngster who feels like life’s got you running on a treadmill with no stop button?

You’re not alone. We’re all sprinting through our twenties and thirties, trying to juggle careers, relationships, and that elusive thing called “me time.” But have you ever paused to think about what’s coming next?

Buckle up, because middle age is like a plot twist in your next binge-watch series.

I hit my late 30s and suddenly found myself in the thick of caregiving. Not just to our precious Sara, who came into our lives when I was nearly 39, but also to my father. Till then life was almost carefree.

Sara’s birth was a moment of pure joy we had eagerly awaited. But just five days later, my father’s health nosedived, forcing me to rush from Delhi to Bhubaneswar.

Imagine the scene: frantic calls before boarding, an ambulance waiting outside our family home, and my dad being wheeled into it within minutes of my arrival.

Our family home, Sheila Mansion, is conveniently close to the airport, a blessing I counted as I whispered reassurances to my dad.

Did he understand? I’ll never know. He’d stopped talking days before, just as Sara arrived.

The next few days were a whirlwind. Dad was in ICU, unable to eat normally, and I was left grappling with the reality that his condition wasn’t going to improve.

“When will nasal feeding stop,” I asked the treating doctor.?

?His reply hit hard: “This is how it is going to be for the rest of his life.”

That’s when it sunk in that my father had entered the beginning of his end stage in life. He’s not going to get better.?

?After I had dealt with this reality, I set about ensuring Dad was as comfortable as possible. We got an attendant trained for nasal feeding, and a hospital bed and other essentials were quickly arranged. I had to prepare my mom for what was coming. She understood.

Once everything was in place, Mom sent me back to Delhi. My newborn daughter needed me too. Or perhaps I needed to hold her.

Dad passed away three months later, and my focus shifted to making sure Mom was okay. Losing a partner changes everything, and it’s my responsibility to keep her happy and comfortable.

Eleven years have passed since then. Now, my life revolves around caring for Mom and Sara. Their well-being is my top priority.

While Sara is nearing teenage, mom has now entered her second childhood. She seeks time and attention, wants to have her way mostly and is often argumentative when she can't. She exudes both childish and childlike qualities. Dealing with her requires abundant patience and calmness.

In the moments when I am on the verge of losing patience, I draw strength from Tia Walker's famous quote:

“To care for those who once cared for us is one of the highest honours.”

And just like that, I regain my strength and remain grateful for the opportunity.

If you are a caregiver in the same boat, these words from Tia is all you need.

A Message to the Youth

To all the children and youth reading this: You’re in the golden years where your biggest worry might be a school exam or what to post on social media. Make the most of it. One day, you’ll find yourself caring for others too. And guess what? It can be a beautiful experience, filled with love and fulfilment, despite the responsibilities it brings.

Caregiving is an art, a pleasure even. It’s all about your mindset and depends on how you think and approach it. But for now, you can live without a care.

Relish this time.

Because before you know it, life’s plot twist will have you stepping into a new role – one that’s challenging yet incredibly rewarding.

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