From Burnout to Purpose: How I Broke the Cycle of Overcommitment and Built a Life of Meaningful Impact
Nell DeVito, MCC, CMT-P
Leading teams to achieve sustainable strategy implementation, organizational transformation and leadership breakthroughs.
In Israa Nasir 's recent article, "Why You're Chronically Overcommited", in the Harvard Business Review , she dives deep into a subject I know all too well.
Let me provide some context...I was the person who said yes to everything. My work was my identity. I traveled the world, earned degrees, climbed the ranks, and poured myself into service. On paper, it looked like I had it all together. In reality, I was running on fumes. I was a nervous wreck without work to anchor me, overextending myself to prove my worth, and trying to patch the void inside with busyness and achievement.
Like Nasir describes in her article, overcommitment isn’t just about taking on too much; it’s a deeply emotional cycle. It’s about seeking validation, avoiding failure, and trying to measure up in comparison to others. For me, it was all of that, and it led to a breakdown—a moment where I had to face the truth: my way of working wasn’t sustainable.
That breakdown became a breakthrough. It pushed me to rethink everything I believed about success, service, and self-worth and over the past decade I've been on a journey to understand and course correct how I show up for others AND myself.
How Overcommitment Creeps In
Overcommitment often masquerades as ambition. It’s easy to think you’re doing it all for the greater good: the team, the mission, the cause. But when I look back, I realize much of my overcommitting stemmed from fear—fear of not being good enough, of letting people down, of not living up to the expectations I’d set for myself.
As Amy points out, overcommitment is fueled by three emotional dynamics:
But here’s the truth: saying yes to everything doesn’t make you indispensable. It makes you disconnected—from yourself, your values, and the work that truly matters.
Recognizing the Signs of Overcommitment
For me, the signs were hard to ignore:
These patterns didn’t just impact my work; they drained my joy, strained my relationships, and disconnected me from myself.
The Turning Point: Shifting from Fear to Reflection
When my body, mind, and soul finally said, “Enough,” I had no choice but to pause. I left a job I loved and started peeling back the layers of my overcommitment. What I found was both humbling and empowering: I wasn’t just burned out—I was out of alignment with myself.
At Mpowrd Analytics , we talk a lot about wellbeing, reflection, and self-awareness-three of our core values. Prior to joining the company, these values had become my guiding lights as I worked to rebuild my relationship with work and service. Here’s what I learned:
1. Wellbeing: Protecting Your Capacity
Your energy is finite. Overcommitment burns through it faster than you can replenish it. True impact comes not from doing everything, but from doing the right things well.
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How to practice this:
2. Reflection: Aligning Actions with Values
I had to get honest with myself about what mattered most. For years, I thought I was driven by purpose, but I was really driven by fear. Shifting to purpose required regular reflection and recalibration.
How to practice this:
3. Self-Awareness: Honoring Your Boundaries
Boundaries aren’t just about saying no—they’re about creating the space to say yes to what really matters. Self-awareness helps you recognize your triggers and patterns, so you can respond intentionally rather than react out of habit.
How to practice this:
What I’ve Learned—and What I Hope for You
Today, as COO of Mpowrd Analytics, I still face moments where I’m tempted to overcommit. The difference now is that I’ve built the tools to pause, reflect, and align my actions with my values.
My work no longer defines my worth, but it does reflect my purpose. At Mpowrd, we believe in building crowded tables—spaces where every voice is heard, every person feels valued, and every action is intentional. That starts with making room for ourselves.
To the women leading purpose-driven companies and organizations: I see you. I know the pressure you carry and the immense care you pour into your work. I also know how easy it is to lose yourself in the process.
The most powerful thing you can do is protect your capacity, honor your boundaries, and root your leadership in reflection and self-awareness. That’s how we create the kind of impact that doesn’t just ripple—it lasts.
?? Your Turn What’s one way you’ve reclaimed your time or reset your boundaries this year? I’d love to hear your reflections—let’s keep this conversation going.
#Leadership #SocialImpact #Wellbeing #Reflection #PurposeDriven #WomenInLeadership #EquityAndJustice #MpowrdAnalytics
Social Media Coordinator with CIEE
1 个月I used to think if I said yes to everything, I would be picked more for things or I would climb up the leadership ladder faster. When I was getting my MBA, I was the only woman in the classroom and the only Latine person there. I felt like I had to prove that I wasn't lazy and that I was a hard worker in order to be taken seriously as a professional. In reality, all I was doing was burning myself out and causing so much unnecessary stress. I ended up learning that saying no isn't selfish, but even if it is, so what. Who cares? I value myself as a personal with thoughts and feelings more than a worker that is easily replaced.
Manager, Responsible Investment Research
1 个月Great reflections Nell, thank you for sharing. I'm learning that it's important for each of us to reflect on what is truly important to creating a good life, and try disengage from the unrealistic expectations we internalise from society and the media. What brings one person fulfilment and peace may be very different to someone else's idea of success.
Helping leaders and organisations to navigate challenge and change, creating a positive impact for people and the planet | Bio Leadership Fellow | RSA Fellow
1 个月Nell DeVito, MCC, CMT-P great article and question - for me I am giving myself time in the morning to journal and do some qigong to prepare for the day - early days (I actually started late last year) but I can feel a positive shift- it is also good role modelling for my son to see me taking the time to get myself 'ready' in the mornings - I often go outside and he watches me.........
versatile people leader + culture strategist + biz partner // transforming hiring, performance, and retention through empowerment, enablement, and a healthy dose of empathy
1 个月Great reflection and question! I've given this some thought over the years, and I keep arriving at the same conclusion: my tendency to overcommit comes from feeling like I can always do more, and to a degree, FOMO. And when it comes to side hustles, wanting to diversify income streams for financial independence. Over time, my boundary-setting comes from going back to my "Why?": how is this contributing to my current goals and needs? Is this sustainable, and for how long? what are the other person's/party's expectations?
SVP | Human-centered solutions for business growth | Strategy | Insights | Research | Talent Management | Organizational Effectiveness
1 个月To your third bullet on self-respect, asking "What do *I* want?", not "What do *they* want?", as a first internal response helps me say no (when applicable) and stay true to myself. Thanks for sharing the great list of reminders!