From Burnout to Balance: Reflections on my 26th Birthday

Growing up while leading a nonprofit is a disorienting experience, to say the least. You confront the steep learning curve of nonprofit leadership while confronting the even steeper learning curve of becoming an adult. This unique journey is gratifying, exhausting, beautiful, and challenging all at the same time. I would not have done life any other way, but there were moments when I came close to burning out. However, as I celebrate my 26th birthday, I am more excited, energized, and grateful about life and about Breaktime than ever before.

My 26th lap around the sun was a major turning point in my life. While confronting some of my largest personal and professional challenges, I made more progress on my mental and physical health than ever before. In the last year, I have reinvested heavily in my identity and hobbies outside of work, and in doing so, I come to work more balanced, effective, and passionate. I am a more present son, brother, friend, neighbor, and leader, and–most importantly–I am a happier, more fulfilled, and more authentic version of myself.

Seven years ago, when I turned 19, this was not the case. Like many LGBTQ+ young adults, I entered college closeted, insecure, and full of existential dread. I was insanely privileged to have the best support system around me, but my internal support system left much to be desired. Needless to say, Barbie would have thought twice about turning human if she inherited my thoughts and feelings at that time.

In the following six years, I made a lot of progress in my life. I came out, met amazing people, had incredible life experiences, and co-founded and scaled Breaktime from an idea to a fully-fledged organization. I had to grow up very fast, and I embraced this challenge head-on with the love and support of my incredible family and friends. Nevertheless, something was still missing. When I was approaching my 25th birthday, I remember thinking “How can we leverage this milestone to raise money in support of Breaktime?” instead of thinking “How can I have the best party ever?” This was because I viewed myself primarily as the Co-Founder and Executive Director of Breaktime, not just Connor. I threw everything I had into my work. I had the lifestyle and health of someone much older than I was, and I did not prioritize myself enough.

As I was turning 25, burnout forced me to take a month away from Breaktime to recover. The previous years of hard work to establish the organization had worn me down. With the support and leadership of the incredible Breaktime staff and Board, I felt confident that stepping away to care for my health was the best decision. Despite the guilt that plagued me at the beginning, I fully unplugged and spent quality time reconnecting with friends, family, and the world.?

This was the best decision I ever made, and this experience irrevocably changed my life.

Although I missed my work and our amazing team, I returned to Breaktime re-energized and ready to make some changes. So many of Breaktime’s early years were marked by sacrifice, long days, and late nights at the expense of health and friendships. The time away led me to realize that truly growing as a leader means embracing balance.

It is up to me to model this philosophy and embed it into Breaktime’s culture. This year, I worked hard to prioritize personal changes and healthier habits that bolster my leadership. I committed to a better diet, went to the gym consistently, and started therapy again. I dedicated significant time to nourishing personal connections and hobbies that rejuvenate my spirit. I started a weekly game night with my friends, traveled to new places, played piano, read dozens of murder mystery novels, danced at clubs, sang karaoke (poorly), and saw Beyonce and Taylor Swift in concert. I played countless games of pickleball with my family and walked endless miles on the beach with my dog, Sammy. I biked from Boston to Brewster with my dad, attended my brother Matt’s residency graduation, watched all the Best Picture nominees with my brother Mark, ran hundreds of miles with my mom, and painted my nails with my sister, Pop.

Even my home now reflects my values and identity outside of work. I have added a piano and puzzle table and created a living room designed for game nights, not Zoom calls. What was once a space optimized solely for meetings is now primarily a place for relaxation and enjoyment. This shift from a work-centered environment to one that prioritizes my health and well-being has made me a more sustainable leader, capable of investing in Breaktime without risking further burnout.

Today, Breaktime is in the process of finalizing our 2030 roadmap, envisioning how we can maximize and scale our impact in the years to come. This next chapter in our journey is filled with exciting possibilities and a clearer vision for a future without young adult homelessness.

As I look forward to shaping Breaktime’s vision for 2030, I am continuing to chart my own personal roadmap. My goals for 26 include embracing a holistic approach to health, fostering deep and meaningful friendships, and indulging unabashedly in enriching hobbies with the people I love. I dream of exploring new places, learning Portuguese, playing my favorite pop songs on the piano, and running my first marathon. Most importantly, I commit to cultivating the silliest and most vulnerable pieces of my identity and letting them shine through authentically and proudly. Each of these goals reflects a desire to lead a balanced and fulfilling life, harmonizing professional ambitions with personal passions.

To celebrate and kick off this journey of self-improvement, I am taking the week off to spend time on the Cape with my family and friends. We will be biking, walking on the beach, playing board games, dancing, and having lots of great conversations over codfish, cake, and wine. I am excited to celebrate this ongoing journey of growth, taking pride in the progress I have made. I feel immense appreciation for the support of family, friends, colleagues, advisers, and Breaktime’s Board members–all of whom have encouraged this journey of self-care and made it possible.

As I turn 26, I am grateful to have learned that being a good leader in the long run means putting your health and happiness first and role modeling that for others. Thank you to everyone who has taught me this and supported me in my journey. You changed my life for the better.

P.S. Yes, I am a Leo–if that wasn’t already obvious :)