From the Board Room to the Bored Room

Like so many others I've spent a good amount of time listening to motivational speakers - the likes of Tony Robbins and Brené Brown and a slew of TED Talks. I've sat in my car nodding along to people talking about the importance of integrity, kindness, hard work, and hustle. I've jogged to people telling me how vital it is to be a strong leader. I've shopped to folks preaching the gospel of the gift of gab and how to win friends and influence people. I've heard the same things you have - but today something hit me, pretty damn hard.

Generally, I work with people on the east coast - but today, for whatever reason, I happened to be scheduled with a 58-year-old executive from the Bay Area. Our meeting started out in a pretty average way, as most calls do. We traded pleasantries, I got around to asking questions and he answered them in a pretty straightforward way. Then something happened. We got on the topic of future goals and ambitions and I asked him, "What do you envision for your future?" His energy shifted, and his body followed. He looked down at his hands, which were folded in front of him, and he said, "Truth be told, I'm not sure."

While a greener me would have rushed to ask another question I took a queue from my intuition and sat back in the chair silently. That silence felt like an eternity, and for a moment I thought I'd read the room wrong - but then he looked up at the camera and said something that blew me out of the water.

He said, "I've spent my whole life, from the age of 26, scheduling my world around my career. I scheduled my family, my leisure time, and my life around this one thing. Now I'm retiring next year." He paused and cleared his throat. "I'm retiring next year, and when I look at my life - I have successful adult children with families I rarely see, a pile of cash in the bank I've amassed, and a beautiful home I've never really lived life in. I've planned my life around my career, and I've never had to plan for doing nothing." He shifted his weight in his chair, took a breath, and looked back down. That's when he really brought it home.

"The truth is, Kate, I've worked for something like 70% of my life, and now I'm near the end of it, and looking back I know that I've made a lot of rich guys richer - myself included - and not a single one of us is happier for it. I'm retiring with a full bank account, an empty house, and a heavy heart. And if I'm honest with you, I wish I could go back and do it again because I didn't realize what richness really is until I got here - and what it isn't - and now I can't go back."

I thanked him for his time and wished him luck - then I stood up and went out to give my daughter a hug.

He's right, you know.