From Awkward to Awesome: 6 Tips for L&D Pros to Maximize Networking

The previous L&D Must Change newsletter article focused on networking as a multi-faceted super tool for L&D pros (if you know how to use it). It stressed to get the most out of networking and reap the benefits of shared problem solving, professional development, equal exchange, and a strong community, networking must be a continuous process, versus a one time ask.

Even with all these benefits, networking doesn't come easily and naturally for most. Not even for L&D pros, who stereotypically enjoy being around people. There's something about networking that seems harder than it needs to be, leading many to avoid it as long as possible. Do any of the following sound like you?

I don't really want to network because...

• ...I'm afraid I won't know what to say.
• ...I'm no good at small talk.
• ...I feel awkward the entire time.
• ...I'm afraid I'll run out of things to talk about and be left with awkward silence.

If so, you aren't alone. I vividly remember my painful start to the skill as a young HR professional. I felt like I could have a great conversation with my friends, but when it came to making small talk with strangers, I just felt... well... totally and completely awkward and extremely ill-equipped. So, I avoided it.

At least, until I discovered a few tips and tricks to make it easier and coupled that with lots of practice. Here are my favorites:

Tip #1: Accept the awkward

Be ready to feel awkward and realize this isn't as bad as you think. Most other people probably feel some level of awkwardness when networking (yes, that includes me). Very few people are completely comfortable and smooth when talking to strangers. Know you aren't alone.

Tip #2: Come armed with a few key questions to ask everyone you meet

This tip helps with that, "I won't know what to say" tape that's playing in your head. Address it by preparing ahead of time. Come up with a few questions that you can ask anyone you meet (in a virtual breakout room or in person) and use them over and over again with everyone.

You can personalize questions based on the event or what you are most interested in, but they should be broad and "safe" meaning they help you have a good conversation, but you aren't asking someone to be overly vulnerable right away. This person is a stranger after all!

I generally have three key questions that I ask in networking and they make for good conversation. I call them the, "WORK - LOVE - CHALLENGE" questions and they look like this:

1. Where do you work? What's your role?
2. What do you love most about your work?
3. What's a challenge you are facing right now in your work?

If I'm at a conference or event, I'll often add another or swap it out for #2 or #3 and that is, "What session have you found most valuable so far and why?" or "What interested you in attending this event?"

Be sure to think about your answer to the questions you ask as well. If someone is a decent conversationalist, they will follow their answer to your question with something like, "What about you?" But, if they don't not to worry, move on to tip #3.

Tip #3: Aim to be interested, not interesting

We know this, and yet many of us tend to try and win people over with our stories and experiences, especially when we get a bit nervous. We think this is helping us connect to others. Spoiler alert, it's not.

Some of the best networking "conversations" I've had were those where I didn't share much about myself at all. But, because I was genuinely interested in the other person, the connection was much stronger. Genuine interest is one of the secrets to making networking less awkward. Put on your curiosity hat and let it take the lead.

Tip #4: Make yourself a "meaningful conversation" goal

Take the pressure off right now. You don't need to talk to everyone in the room! At most networking events this wouldn't even be possible. A more realistic goal is to aim for 2-3 meaningful conversations or connections.

Ask your key questions to 2-3 people and listen to the answers with your curiosity hat in place. Networks are built one connection at a time, over time, so play the long game. Consistently adding a couple of people to your network at a time will add up!

Tip #5: Close out every conversation with connection and reciprocity

Be sure to connect on LinkedIn (easiest to use the QR code scanner in the app on your phone ) and send a short note or quick message immediately. Mention how you met that person. A simple, "Great to meet you at _______ today" is enough. If you really want to be extra, add in a sentence about the topic of your conversation. This is important because, if you ever want to reconnect with that person, or find yourself running into them again, you can search through your LinkedIn messages for a quick reminder on how you met.

An opportunity to help each other may have already come up in the conversation and if so, provide a quick recap as you close the conversation, "I'll send you the resource I mentioned." If this hasn't happened, feel free to ask, "What is one thing I can do to help you?" and make note of their response. In the spirit of reciprocity, feel free to ask that person for something in return, "Would you send me the name of the person you suggested that I follow?" Start practicing a statement and/or question about reciprocity in every interaction.

Tip #6: Follow-up and follow-through

This one is pretty self-explanatory. If you promised to share a resource or contact name, follow through! If you didn't already send a message on LinkedIn saying, "Great to meet you at _____." do so right after the event. If you do either of these things, you will immediately set yourself apart from the crowd. The majority of people don't make this effort after the fact. They get busy and forget.

If you need a system to remember, put one in place for yourself. I'm a little old school here, if I can swing it, I prefer to carry around a small notebook and can be seen making notes in quiet moments. Those are notes about who I met and what I promised so I can follow up. If a notebook doesn't work, I open up an email and add the notes there. Then, I send it to myself afterwards.

Networking may feel awkward, but that doesn't mean you can't still gain value from the interactions. Use these tips to prepare the next time you find yourself facing a networking event or challenge then watch the benefits come your way, over time.

Finding value in the L&D Must Change Newsletter? Check out the L&D Must Change Podcast !

While Jess Almlie shares her voice in the newsletter, the podcast shares the voices of others in L&D who are working to make a change in our profession for the better, big or small. Episodes are released bi-weekly, opposite the newsletter.

If we are truly going to move our profession forward, it will take many different voices and ideas.

Listen to the L&D Must Change Podcast on Apple Podcasts , Spotify , or your favorite podcast app.

Learning Business Advisor Consulting (Jess Almlie) is dedicated to helping L&D leaders stop working as order takers and start working more strategically, intentionally, and with measurable impact. Jess can work with you to determine the best strategy for a single program or project, lead your L&D team through strategic planning, provide individual L&D leader/team coachsulting (a combo coaching, mentoring, and consulting approach to professional development), and/or guide you and your L&D team through a series of workshops to learn and implement needed skills. If this sounds like something you need, message Jess to set up a time to chat.