From Awkward to Authentic: Master Networking that Genuinely Works!

Networking can feel daunting, and, if done wrong, it can feel inauthentic. Many job seekers approach networking with a transactional mindset—What can this person do for me? But here is a different approach: generous networking. This mindset not only opens doors but also fosters meaningful connections that can truly transform your career and life.

1. Networking Isn’t a “Necessary Evil”

A common misconception is that networking is only about serving one’s own interests. Often, job seekers walk into meetings wondering, “What can I get from this?” This approach often leads to short-lived, shallow connections and can leave you feeling uncomfortable. Shift your mindset to generous networking, where the focus is on “What can I give to this person?” This small change can lead to profound results, creating genuine, lasting connections.

Script Example: Instead of jumping straight to your career goals, try saying: “Thank you so much for meeting with me. I’d love to hear about your work and if there’s anything I can do to support your team or connect you with people in my network.”

2. Relationships Are Gardens, Not Transactions

?Think of your network as a garden: the more you nurture it, the more it will flourish. Like my parents’ garden, which produced so much it had to be shared, your network grows richer as you invest time, encouragement, and support in others. Your relationships are not there to be harvested once and forgotten. Tend to them. Support others in their journeys, and you’ll often find that opportunities come back to you in unexpected ways.

Example of Generous Networking:

Imagine you know someone who is a software developer and another contact looking to recruit tech talent. If it makes sense for both parties, you could connect them, regardless of any direct benefit to yourself. That simple introduction can spark trust and goodwill in both relationships.

Script Example: “I know someone who is looking for tech talent in a project similar to yours. Would you be open to an introduction? I think you both would benefit from connecting.”

3. Social Capital: The Real Highway of Opportunity

?We are often told that education is the key to success, but education is only the on-ramp to the highway. Social capital—your relationships, the people you know, and, more importantly, those who know you—is the highway itself. Build connections authentically, and those relationships will support you through career transitions and open up opportunities.

Example of Building Social Capital:

Join online communities or attend industry events. Instead of focusing on collecting business cards, look for ways to actively engage. If someone in your network shares an update or accomplishment, congratulate them or offer meaningful commentary.

Script Example: “I saw your post about your recent project—congratulations! I’d love to hear more about it if you have time to chat. I’m always looking to learn from others’ experiences.”

4. Generosity Looks Different at Different Times

You don’t need wealth or extensive experience to be generous in your network. Generosity can be as simple as giving someone your undivided attention, sending a thoughtful thank-you note, or making a meaningful introduction. These small acts make a big impact and set you apart as someone who values others beyond their immediate benefit to you.

Simple Acts of Generosity:

Send a thank-you email after a conversation. Remember details about a contact’s interests or goals and check in on them later. Offer to review someone’s resume or provide feedback on a project they are working on.

Script Example: “Thank you again for your time today. I appreciated learning about your work and insights. If there’s ever anything I can do to support you or if you need help on a project, please don’t hesitate to reach out.”

5. Abundance Over Scarcity

In networking, a scarcity mindset keeps us focused on self-preservation and fear of missing out. An abundance mindset, however, allows you to see potential and possibilities, shifting your focus from what’s “lacking” to what’s “available.” Embrace this shift by looking for ways to uplift others.?

Example of an Abundance Mindset:

If a former colleague lands a role you applied for, resist comparing your outcomes and focus on celebrating their success. Send them a congratulatory message and ask about their journey to learn more. That positive interaction keeps the door open for future collaboration.

Script Example: “Congratulations on the new role! I’m so excited to see what you accomplish. I’d love to stay in touch and hear about your experiences in the role—wishing you all the best!”?

6. Give Before You Get

Generous networking isn’t about giving with strings attached, hoping something circles back in the future. It’s about giving for the sake of building strong, genuine connections. You might not see immediate returns, but you will find immense satisfaction in relationships that grow from a foundation of mutual respect and support.

Script Example for Giving First: “I wanted to share an article/resource that made me think of our conversation. I hope you find it useful, and if there’s anything else I can do to support you, I’d be happy to help!”?

7. People Are the Purpose, Not a Process

Approach networking with a relational rather than a transactional posture. Ask yourself, “How can I leave this person better than I found them?” Instead of seeking ways to leverage someone, focus on understanding their goals and finding ways to help them achieve those goals.

Example for Building Authentic Connections: “I would love to learn more about your work and interests to see if there are ways I can support your journey.”

8. Social Capital Increases as You Invest in It

Unlike financial capital, which depletes with spending, social capital grows the more you invest in it. Every time you support, encourage, and empower others, you’re strengthening your network. When you become known as a generous connector, opportunities naturally flow toward you.

Example of Investing in Social Capital:

Stay connected with past colleagues or mentors by periodically checking in or sending relevant resources. Make small gestures, like remembering birthdays or congratulating them on achievements, which help keep relationships warm.

Script Example: “Hi [Name]! Just checking in to see how things have been going on your end. I recently came across a resource that might be helpful for [project/interest]. Let’s catch up sometime soon!”

9. Adopt a Mindset of Relational Investment

In today’s fast-paced professional world, people often get caught up in “closing the deal” in networking. But remember, it’s not about what you can extract from people but rather about building relationships that uplift everyone involved. When you give more than you take, your network—and your career—becomes that much richer.

So, the next time you approach a networking opportunity, ask yourself: “How can I make a positive impact here?” Instead of thinking of networking as a transaction, think of it as a chance to give. Because in the end, it’s not about extracting value; it’s about building it.

Word of Advice: If you are a job seeker ready to embrace generous networking, start with small steps today. You might just find that the more you invest in others, the more abundant your own opportunities become. Happy Networking!