From Agoraphobia to 18,000 LinkedIn Followers: How a Crippling Disorder Made me Stronger Than Ever!

Everybody with an anxiety disorder remembers their first time. 

For me, it was in 2008, during one of my legal studies courses at Carleton University. Mid-lecture, I suddenly noticed how big the room was, and how many students were crammed into one room. My vision became blurry, and my hands started trembling. My heart felt like it was pumping hard enough to burst through my chest, and I felt nauseated. 

I raced out of the room and took refuge in a nearby washroom. I was paralyzed with fear and had no idea why. I couldn't leave the stall for the next hour and a half, terrified by the mere prospect of taking a five-minute train back home. 

That episode set the tone for my life from that moment on. I had developed Agoraphobia, which is,

"An extreme, irrational fear of crowded spaces or enclosed public places."

I had to spend at least an hour preparing just to build up enough courage just to take the train to school, and sometimes failed and only made it one stop.

I couldn't go to restaurants, concerts, or movie theatres. I had to quit my part-time customer service job. My brain had sentenced me to house arrest. 

As frustrating as having Agoraphobia was, the worst part was the embarrassment. I had to keep making excuses to others for not going out anywhere, or for when I had panic attacks. My self-consciousness made me Agoraphobic, and my Agoraphobia made me self-conscious.

So how did I break the cycle, get my anxiety under control, become the sociable oddball I am today?  

"I turned to social media, and it saved my life."

Here's how! 

1. Everybody makes mistakes on social media. 

If you're active on social media, you've made a misstep at some point. It could be something teeny, like sharing a marketing scam that makes you look gullible, or something much bigger, like sharing a controversial article or making an offensive joke. Witnessing other people make mistakes helped me to stop worrying about how I'm perceived by others, and to just focus on being myself. 

2. You can't take yourself too seriously. 

When you publish ANYTHING on the internet, you will have negative feedback. Trust me, you could post an article about how cute puppies are, and you would have at least one cat lover that is offended because kittens weren't included (for the record, I am not anti-kitten). 

What does this mean for confidence? You learn, over time, to expect criticism, and sometimes, the comments are so extreme that they almost parody themselves. 

For example, on my post about "How I Landed My Dream Job in Two Weeks on LinkedIn", I had a gentleman comment "I think you're a man.". Similarly, on my article on creating a viral post, one person compared me to Sinead O'Connor, because I'm like,

"The one hit wonder of Linkedin".

Once you get used to how the troll game works, comments like those are kind of hilarious to read. 

3. You learn through example. 

Failures are bound to happen in life. It's a scary reality. But watching others get knocked down by various crises, like layoffs, debt, illness, death, etc., and get back on their feet is so inspiring. When in history have we ever had the ability to learn by example like that? Social media has helped me to overcome Agoraphobia by being motivated by witnessing others overcome their own struggles. 

4. You are either unique or overlooked. 

A big part of Agoraphobia, at least for me, was an extreme fear of being different. I tried to suppress my creative quirkiness while I worked towards getting into law school.

Social media celebrates diversity and uniqueness. Since I've entered the social mediasphere, I've created a fashion blog, started a Youtube channel, hosted a webinar series, and started writing regularly on LinkedIn. All along the way, I've had people supporting me that shared my interests and/or values.

Social media, and LinkedIn specifically, is like networking with training wheels. It offers the power of community without the necessity of pants. Plus, it gives you the ability to practice coming across as a smooth operator, which helps a ton for when you actually meet people face-to-face. 

5. You learn that we are all in this together. 

Whoever you are, or whatever you're interested in, there's a subreddit for that. Finding your squad is therapeutic, and with sites like Eventbrite and Meetup, you can take your relationships offline and hang out in your neighbourhood. 

There are forums upon forums for almost anything you can think of. The best part of social media, and the internet in general, is that you are always just a Google search away from learning that you are not alone. 

And with that, thank you reader, for reading my posts and sharing your thoughts! Without your awesome cheerleading skills, I would never have made the cut. 

Let others know what you've had to overcome to get to where you are today, share your feedback below!