From 40 pints a week to tea total – why I quit drinking and why you might want to too

Advanced warning, this article is to share my experience and give advice to those of you who are thinking of having a break from alcohol but are nervous of, or concerned about, making the leap.

If you’re reading this and thinking “why would I stop drinking, that’s stupid!” I’d suggest you stop reading now. I’m not going to be preaching or trying to convert you in this article. I think that everyone can benefit from at least taking a break from alcohol but that’s my view, I’m not going to force you to share it.

For those of you who are considering giving up or taking a break I hope this helps give you the confidence that it’s not going to be the end of your life and could have some massive unexpected benefits!

Why I did it:

I originally set out to have a short break from alcohol, but it’s a break that’s extended indefinitely. I’ve done weddings, stag dos, family holidays and all manner of other social events sober and find I actually enjoy them more, not less!

So how did I get to this point? After an autumn and winter of parties, weddings, stag dos and many other events that involved drinking a lot I was feeling tired, worn out and a little bit embarrassed about how certain nights had ended. Usually with me asleep in the corner or hugging the toilet, neither of which are a good look at 29!

I decided I needed to take a break. Having done dry January many times before I chose to take 3 months off. The reason for 3 months? Because 3 months means you have to face social events without alcohol, you can’t simply hide away like a hermit as most people do in dry January.

What stopped me doing this sooner:

It took me quite a while to build up to this point and there were a number of concerns and thoughts I had, all of which I know others who are thinking of doing the same are asking themselves:

• What if others judge me?
• What if my friends don’t want to go out with me because I’m not drinking?
• What if I don’t enjoy going to events sober?
• I’d love to stop drinking but I have this birthday, wedding, social event, in a months time and I can’t not drink at it.

I was still on the fence about this until one of my early podcast interviews with Adrian Bettridge in January this year where he shared his story and the fact that he has never drunk alcohol. Right there I decided, if he’s been sober his whole life and achieved what he has why can’t I do it? So I came to terms with the worst that could happen and decided to go sober for 3 months.

The first 3 months:

With huge trepidation and nervousness I started saying to friends ‘I’m not drinking’ and ‘can I have a lime and soda please’. Every time I did it got easier and easier and I became more and more comfortable with not drinking.

Looking back, those first 3 months were actually remarkably easy and I found myself enjoying social events much more than when I was drinking. Yes, there was a bit of light micky taking from friends and family but it went as quickly as it came and everyone just moved on. After a week or two me not drinking wasn’t even a thing.

Benefits from not drinking:

As I said above, I’ve found so many benefits from not drinking that I’ve kept going with it.

There were the obvious benefits such as no hangovers, no toilet prayers and being more productive and switched on at work but there were also some other benefits that I didn’t expect that really hit me. Two of the main ones being a huge increase in confidence and massive improvement in my relationships.

Confidence:

Now anyone who knows me will tell you I’m a confident guy, and I am. But I didn’t realise until I stopped drinking how much I’d used alcohol as a crutch.

• Stressed about something? Have a beer to relax.
• At a wedding where you don’t know anyone? Have a couple of beers and then go and talk to people.
• Need to have a potentially awkward or uncomfortable conversation with someone? Take them for a drink and after you’ve shared a bottle of wine, bring up the topic.
• At an event you don’t want to be at? Get drunk!

These were all things I used to do and things that I could no longer do without drink. If I was in a setting where I didn’t know anyone or it felt awkward I simply had to build up the confidence to go and speak to people or have that difficult conversation.

All of these little moments built to give me a massive confidence boost. Instead of worrying about what I did the night before I’m now fully relaxed and confident in all of these situations. I find working through what’s causing me stress much easier and find myself going for less and less ‘beers’ with people I have no real interest in being with.

Relationships

The second major benefit is that I’ve found myself having better conversations with and enjoying time with my friends and family more, not less, since cutting out alcohol. The reason for this, looking back, is actually quite simple, I am aware of what is going on.

Prior to not drinking I’d have many nights where friends and I would get drunk, laugh and have fun but after the first couple of hours none of us would really know what we were talking about. That didn’t stop us all waking up the next day and saying ‘that was a great night wasn’t it!’. Maybe it was, but more often than not I didn’t have a clue!

Now that I don’t drink I know when I’ve had a genuinely good night and when I’ve not. It’s helped me develop deeper relationships with the people I like and shown me very quickly who I have a lot less in common with.

Does this mean all of my social life has become boring and sombre, absolutely not. I still enjoy being loud and outgoing but this stems from the confidence I’ve gained through not drinking instead of 2 or 3 pints of Peroni.

Making it easy:

Now before you think I’ve climbed all they way on to my high horse it’s worth saying I’ve tried not drinking many times before and failed for one simple reason…I love beer!

Many people I know tell me they don’t really like beer or that they forced themselves to like it. I never had this problem, I love beer and I’m very bad at moderation. As such one beer could quickly become 6, 8, 10. 

When you combine my love of beer, my inability to do things in moderation and the summer sun and you have a terminal mix that has always led me back to drinking.

This time I decided to find a way to overcome this. I found, good (yes it exists), non-alcoholic substitutes that I could drink at social events.

For me this was the game changer and if you’re considering taking a break or quitting I’d highly recommend you find a substitute that works for you. There are 2 big reasons for this:

1. It lets you feel like you’re having a drink and gives you all of the emotional benefits you get from drinking alcohol, without drinking alcohol. You can come home on a Friday and have a nice cold beer, without getting drunk. It is also much more enjoyable than drinking water all night!
2. It makes others feel more comfortable around you when they’re drinking. While all of my friends and family have been fully supportive I realised early on that people feel much more comfortable around you in a social setting if you look like you’re drinking. People tend to get self-conscious if they’re the only one drinking and drinking a non-alcoholic substitute that looks like alcohol instantly relaxes people, even if they know it’s non-alcoholic! This has been particularly helpful for events where you’re meeting new people, like networking meetings.

Giving a time frame:

Another tool that’s really helped is giving it timeframe.

This was something that was more helpful for others than for me but being able to tell people ‘I’m not drinking for 3 months’ took any emotion out of it and removed any chance that they might think it was personal.

In the UK it is almost an insult to not accept a drink from someone. As such saying ‘I’m not drinking tonight’ can make people feel that you’re slighting them.

Giving yourself a timeframe helps others understand it’s not personal and that you’re doing it for a bigger reason. Once you’ve hit your timeframe it’s up to you what you do next. I personally found after 3 months off I could say I don’t drink and people are happy with that.

Where to go from here:

So there you have it, why I stopped drinking, what benefits it gave me and how I’ve managed to stick to it.

If the reasons I didn’t start doing this sooner resonate with you, take some time and think about why you’re concerned about them. Like most things in life, the fears and concerns we obsess over are only in our head and usually blown out of all proportion.

If you’re on the fence I really hope this article helps give you the confidence and push you need to give it a go.

If you feel you need to take a break, do it. There’s almost no downside and potentially huge upside.

Who wouldn’t want that?