Frisky Friday 10.13.23 - Finding Jesus at a Taylor Swift concert

Frisky Fridays is a new segment of Safe For Work! Shorter, Personal, offbeat posts in addition to regular ?thought leadership? Wednesdays.

I’m in a self-imposed media blackout right now, because I have tickets to opening night of Taylor Swift’s The Eras Tour concert film in just a few hours. I don’t want ANY spoilers, and want to go in totally fresh… for a show that I’ve already seen live… twice…?

As readers of Safe For Work know, mostly because I've mentioned it so many times, I am a diehard Swiftie. I can talk about her and her artistry as much as I can about startup hiring and org scaling, which is to say… infinitely.?

I'm planning on some fun posts months down the road, like “Business Lessons from Taylor Swift” and “How to inspire followers for your startup’s mission like Taylor Swift and her rabid fanbase.” But today is about how I got to attend the Eras Tour, twice – which I feel so lucky about, but also, look, nothing was going to stop me, I masterminded that shit, ok – and how each show was a spiritual experience. Not kidding.?

Las Vegas, March 24

Vegas was the second location of the Eras Tour, which meant my friends and I went on weeklong media blackout to go into the show totally spoiler-free. Such a great decision, because in the 3.5 hour spectacle, we were dazzled and swept away and fully immersed in the experience. And it wasn’t just the scale of production, though it was certainly massive – but the craft, when you can tell an artist has put so much hard work into developing a vision and making it come alive.

But the spiritual experience didn’t come until the very end of the show, with the last song. ‘Karma’ is an evolution of the classic ‘f**k the haters’ song, but less about the haters and more about how you’re thriving.?

??Cause if you dare, you'll see the glare?

??Of everyone you burned just to get there

??It's coming back around

And Taylor Swift has been through some bonkers drama in her career – people trying to screw her over and sometimes actually screwing her over. The pressure of fame and the impossible standards that young women living public lives are held to. Being underestimated, misunderstood, betrayed. And ‘Karma’ is her expression of being bigger than all of that.?

??Karma is the breeze in my hair on the weekend

??Karma's a relaxing thought

At this moment in the show, a realization hit me to the core – watching this woman (who’s my age) who's absolutely top of her game – and she knows it.? She’s overcome so much, pushed herself, and is dominating her industry. And she’s owning it.?

??Ask me what I learned from all those years

??Ask me what I earned from all those tears

??Ask me why so many fade, but I'm still here

It’s such a rare sight – this kind of celebratory confidence from a woman. And, since it’s the grand finale, there’s a jubilant and triumphant tone, both for the show and her own career. And in watching her, It dawned on me – “Oh, I’m allowed to celebrate myself too.” I’ve worked so goddamn hard and overcome a lot. More stories for another day, but oh boy, have I been screwed over. I know what it feels like to have been not only misunderstood and underestimated, but also cast off, ostracized, and let down by people I trusted.?

??Karma is the thunder

??Rattling your ground

??Karma's on your scent like a bounty hunter

??Karma's gonna track you down

I’m finally at a place in life where I am truly so happy with myself and what I’ve built. I’m my ancestors’ and my childhood self’s wildest dreams come true. But what I haven’t learned yet is how to celebrate this and make it sustainable. I got myself here by pushing, pushing, pushing and I’ve been hard on myself, but I don’t need to anymore.

??Sweet like honey, karma is a cat

??Purring in my lap 'cause it loves me

??Flexing like a goddamn acrobat

??Me and karma vibe like that??

Taylor has been everywhere this year – breaking all kinds of records, earning critical acclaim, boosting the economy at every stop of this mega tour, and even being named the most powerful person in tech. And she knows it. That’s the part that I never got to see growing up. It’s so rare to see women, for a variety of reasons, being able to own their success – not because of their capabilities, but because of the uphill battles and how our society is afraid of women’s power. A lot of us internalize those messages, but I don’t want to anymore. Embracing these joyful pop bops allows me to tap into a part of me that I didn’t know existed, and do more – and keep going because I’m allowed to feel proud of myself.

??Sweet like justice, karma is a queen

??Karma takes all my friends to the summit

??Karma is the guy on the screen

??Coming straight home to me

Of course, it’s not exactly a switch that can be flipped, not even by Taylor herself, where all of a sudden I’m no longer harsh on myself. It’s more like having a light turn on, so now I know I can access that feeling again. It’s just a matter of building a new muscle, in embracing abundance, confidence, and commitment to my path. Something shifted in me as I saw her cute little awkward dancing1 and I haven't been the same.

?

Santa Clara, July 28

I got to attend the show a second time in Santa Clara, the penultimate stop on the US tour. Leading up to it, my friends and I were making predictions about the Surprise Songs section – every show includes an acoustic set, where Taylor rotates 2 songs from her catalog and it’s become a huge phenomenon on social media and Swiftie community.

The group chat asked “What song do you want to hear the most?” I mentioned one, but with a caveat: “There’s no way she’ll play this one because it’s such a fan favorite, so she’ll probably save it for the LA shows ??”.??

So, there we are in Levi’s stadium – the acoustic set finally arrived, and the 70,000 fans started buzzing in anticipation. She brought out to the stage Aaron Dessner, co-writer on the folklore and evermore albums, and I internally started freaking out – “COULD THIS MEAN…?” and the crowd exploded as she starts playing right where you left me, which I’ve long referred to as my [former startup] trauma song ??

??Friends break up, friends get married

??Strangers get born, strangers get buried

??Trends change, rumors fly through new skies

??But I'm right where you left me

‘right where you left me’ is such a fan favorite because it captures such a specific feeling of being stuck and not being able to move on. It’s the moment you get dropped by someone you trust, and you’re left there with the pieces, wondering what happened. You know intellectually that these things happen in life, you’re supposed to move on and get over it, but you can’t. The shock of it is so unsettling, you get stuck in that moment for what feels like forever.?

??Did you ever hear about the girl who got frozen?

??Time went on for everybody else, she won't know it

??She's still 23 inside her fantasy

??How it was supposed to be

For me, this song isn’t about my love life but my work life – I tend to put my all into workplaces. And in one past situation, I’d done great work that I had been so incredibly proud of. But it ended so badly. Longer story for another day, but I got caught up in bad politics as the company grew, and I was pushed out of the very place that I had had such a large hand in building. People would say, “Oh, it's just a job. People leave jobs all the time.” But I was not okay for a long time.?

??I stayed there

??Dust collected on my pinned-up hair

??They expected me to find somewhere

??Some perspective, but I sat and stared

??Right where you left me

It was such a complicated, bad place I was stuck in. The loss of community, the (naive) indignation at the new execs who came in and were awful to me in ways I didn’t know grown adults could be in a professional setting. Being let down by people I trusted and considered friends. The loss of potential from getting cut off from what I was building and which was just starting to show traction. But mostly, I was angry at myself for not having known how to navigate these situations. At the end of the day, I knew I was doing what I thought was best for the company, but I didn’t have the tools, tactics, or the political savvy to navigate it. I was stuck wondering, why couldn't I do better? Why didn’t I see it? Why? Why? And feeling frustrated that I couldn’t get past this.?

??Did you hear about the girl who lives in delusion?

??Break-ups happen every day, you don't have to lose it

??She's still 23 inside her fantasy

Taylor Swift’s music – and I think why her fanbase feels so connected to her – is all about embracing the big, complicated feelings of life. And sometimes, the songwriting gets unhinged– like in ‘right where you left me,’ where she leans into those feeling of intense vulnerability and confusion, giving? us permission to feel them too. “I’m still in denial. I’m helpless. I know I’m being pathetic. I’m not ok.” It’s a hard place to be in, and admit it – but sometimes that’s just how it is, and you can’t force it. IYKYK.?

??I cause no harm, mind my business

??If our love died young, I can't bear witness

??And it's been so long

??But if you ever think you got it wrong

??I'm right where you left me

I’m many years removed from that tough situation and have moved on. But I didn’t expect the deep healing moment made possible by a singalong with a 70,000-person crowd. They all have their version of this feeling, and Taylor does too. That’s why she was able to write this song with such incredible lyricism, imagery, and the precision of the emotion. You don’t know exactly who this song is about – but it’s art.? She doesn’t need it to be about her story, she wants it to be about yours. Her fan base is so intense, because she helps us feel less alone. She captures and shares complicated emotions and perspectives in the way that only someone who’s really been through it can. And a lot of people told me my writing feels like that, which is truly such an honor. Feedback like that is really fulfilling, because it helps me feel connected to my readers.?

??You left me no, oh, you left me no

??You left me no choice but to stay here forever

So those were my two religious experiences with Taylor Swift’s The Eras Tour – and now, I’m about to hit publish on this post and not open my phone for the next few hours because again, no spoilers! I don't know what the third time on the film screen will be like, but I’m …ready for it. Whatever my lord and savior has in store for me, yes plz.

If you read all the way here, to the end – Have I convinced you to go see the film? You should, because it might be a religious experience ?? OK, but seriously – there’s no better way to experience her enormous catalog of pop bangers. If you’re at all curious, absolutely, go see the film – and if you’re feeling really ambitious, watch the documentary? Miss Americana on Netflix first, because understanding her story gives so much context, which really helps things click into place, so you can appreciate her music at a deeper level.?

And ok, if not for any of those reasons, you should still go see The Eras Tour film because it’s breaking ALL the records. And this is such a fun cultural phenomenon that you can tell your grandkids you were part of. You were there. You’ll remember it all too well.????

Swifties - tell me your favorite song by leaving a comment here!

1 Listen... it is unreasonable to expect the greatest songwriter of our generation to also be a great dancer ok?!