Friendships in the workplace.

We have all heard the saying ‘Don’t mix business with pleasure’,? and the interpretations of that over time have led to many leaders feeling that they need to keep a distance from their teams, so that the lines of leadership and friendship don’t become blurred.

On the outside, this might appear to be a smart decision, after all you are their leader and there are times in that role that you have to give directives to your teams that they don’t particularly like.

We’ve also been warned that having a personal relationship with your team members may put you in a vulnerable position, if they then attempt to leverage your relationship to better their situation or outcomes.?

But is that REALLY the case?

When we keep our teams on a tight leash, and lead in a disconnected way, this creates? a disconnected team culture.? People are less likely to express how they really feel, which stifles two-way communication, and they’re more likely to complain to someone else on the team, which further perpetuates a cycle of negativity.

Or worse, spreads disconnection throughout the whole team.

The question in front of us is this - Are friendships in the workplace good or not?

In his book?Motivation and Personality, published in 1954, Maslow talked about our need to belong and that we need to feel part of larger groups, like our work and community, and also close-knit relationships, like family and friends.

This is true of our teams.? They need to feel connected to the team as a whole, and to feel a valued part of the organisation. They also need to have closer relationships with those within the team, to truly have a sense of belonging.

I think we can all name many people we have met through jobs, that became our friends. And we can reflect on how that made our work, at the time, a joy to go to, and contributed to our engagement at that workplace.?

We also can reflect on times in our careers when we had a connected relationship to our leader, and how that had a positive impact on the quality of our work and satisfaction with the company we were working for as a whole.

It’s been found in studies, that employees that get to celebrate life events, like a birthday or key events, like an employment milestone, with their friends at work, feel appreciated and respected.??

And they also feel more connected to the company.

So, those morning teas, with yummy cakes, when someone is going on holidays are more important than you think.. So too, are fun and engaging team building exercises.??

And those water cooler conversations are actually doing more good than we think.

Sadly a majority of workplaces do not invest in opportunities for their teams to connect in this way, focusing more on output, KPI’s and the bottom line.

What’s the answer for us as leaders to strike the balance here?

Connection.? Consciously seeking opportunities to connect in a valuable way with your teams and giving them opportunities to do the same with each other.??

Doubling down on connection and community not only meets a core need that our teams have, at a human level, it is a financially sound investment.? Connected employees are less likely to disengage from their work, and also are more likely to be longer serving employees.

Meaning that the cost of high staff turnover is reduced and critical performance is increased.

The beauty of it all, is that we get to lead the way and show our teams that we can be connected,? and yes, even be friends, and still perform powerfully in our roles.? We do get to mix business with pleasure, in fact it’s the missing link many of us have been looking for.