Friendship: The Heart of Happiness

Today we are talking about friends - why we need them and how they make our lives better.

We spend a lot of time in our lives chasing after things that we think will make us happier. ?Things like personal achievements, money, the big house or the fancy car, having kids, the quest for financial freedom, and more. ?

While many of these things are important, decades of research suggest that true happiness can be determined by something far simpler.

Our relationships.

Specifically, the quality of our friendships.

Friendships play a critical role in determining our overall long-term happiness.

Today we are diving into the Harvard Happiness Project and what it shows us about the relationship between friends and our happiness and health.? We’ll discuss why friends are key to greater happiness, and then we’ll conclude with some tips on how to cultivate and nurture thriving friendships.

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So, kick off your flip-flops and let’s get started! (Yes, it's flip-flop weather here in southern Arizona!)

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Understanding Relationships and Happiness

In 1938, Harvard researchers set out to answer the question: What makes us happy in life?? The Harvard Happiness Study, as it become known, is one of the longest-running studies on happiness.? It has followed the lives of over 700 individuals over several decades and asked detailed questions about their lives in two-year intervals.

It turns out that having good friends is better than fame and fortune.?

And it doesn’t have to do with how many friends we have, but the quality of our friendships is what really matters. Good friendships thrive on trust, support, and mutual respect.? Not only do these relationships contribute to happier lives, but they also contribute to better health and longer lifespans!

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Why are Friendships so Integral for Happiness?

Quality friendships are highly valuable when it comes to improving our happiness.? These connections help people navigate life’s challenges, helping to delay the decline in our mental and physical health, and are better predictors of long-term happiness than our genetics, social status or even IQ.

Three of the Top Reasons include:

1. Emotional Support System

Having a good friend to lean on when life gets tough is just as important as having someone with whom we can share our joys and good times.? Not only do we derive happiness by sharing with our friends, but we also benefit when we can step in and help our friends in times of need.? This type of support system helps maintain good mental health and helps lessen the effects of stress, anxiety, and depression.

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2. Sense of Community

Friendships are integral in satisfying our need to belong and connect with others.? Experiencing life’s pleasures with friends - whether it’s a weekend brunch or a grand adventure to another country - adds depth and richness to our lives.? These shared experiences create lasting memories and strengthen our bonds, contributing to greater long-term happiness.

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3. Personal Growth

Friends challenge us, help us grow, and inspire us to be better versions of ourselves. ?Our friends provide honest feedback and act as cheerleaders when we need to step out of our comfort zones. ?According to Jim Rohn’s theory, the five people you spend the most time with have the power to shape who you are. It’s no wonder then that having good quality friendships in our lives can therefore lead to greater long-term happiness.

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Cultivating and Maintaining Friends for Happiness

If your kid is on the playground and there are ten other kids – how many friends will your kid have after an hour of play?

Probably 10 new friends.

During medical school training and my early career, I moved to 5 different states over the course of about 20 years.? I can tell you, it’s a bit more challenging to make friends as an adult.

For one, we aren’t all running around playing tag on a playground anymore.

By being intentional and thoughtful, we can make it easier to meet and maintain new friends.?

Here are three steps you can do today:

1. Be Proactive

Don’t wait for others to reach out. ?Be proactive in initiating social interactions and maintaining contact.? Checking-in regularly with your friends - whether through a quick text, email, or a phone call - can keep friendships strong.

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2. Focus on Quality Over Quantity

Focus on nurturing deeper connections with a few friends rather than spreading yourself too thin across many acquaintances. Quality friendships require time and attention but are more rewarding in terms of happiness.

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3. Be a Good Listener

Listening is a powerful skill in any relationship. ?Being heard and understood is such a powerful thing in our lives.? Show genuine interest in your friends’ lives. Listening not only strengthens our connections but also shows that we are valued and cared for.

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4. Reciprocity and Generosity

Do you give more than you take from your friendships?? Friendship is a two-way street.? Being generous with your time, attention, and support can help foster and strengthen a healthy friendship.

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Final Remarks

Being happy is something we all strive for, no matter our station in life.? Great friends are at the core of our adventures, our life stories, and our joys. ?It’s these memories and shared experiences that contribute to our growth and overall long-term happiness. ?

The Harvard Happiness Study reaffirms what the dying have known all along:

The only things that truly matter are our relationships with one another.?

Our relationships, especially our friendships, are integral our happiness, health, and longevity.

How have friendships enhanced your happiness?

I’d love to hear from you.

Thanks for reading - if you found this article helpful, please share it with someone! My goal is to help inspire a happier world one person at a time.

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Hi - I'm Tracy and I help physicians (and non-physicians) who feel stuck and want more out of life, to create the life they really want and be happier.

thehappyphysician.com

Want to learn more about working with me as your coach? Send me a message!

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