Friends at Work

Let’s talk about work friendships, particularly friendships on a team. Work friendships have always been one source of my work satisfaction, and I forged some of my longest friendships when traveling or working on challenging projects with colleagues. From the work of Gallup and others, we know friendships can increase job satisfaction.

But recently, I’ve seen tensions around friendships surface on teams. Perhaps because we are looking for more from our workplaces, there may be more value placed on maintaining relationships when faced with the tension between what’s best for the company and maintaining a relationship. Friendships can unintentionally create an in-group and out-group team culture and can create unintentional bias.?

As a team leader who strives to create an inclusive team culture, here are some things to watch out for:

Perceived Favoritism: Team members may feel the friend receives preferential treatment, leading to resentment or perceptions of unfairness. Even if favoritism isn’t happening, the visible friendship can create suspicion and harm morale.?

Reduced Trust in Leadership: When team members feel a personal relationship influences a leader’s decisions, they may lose trust in that leader’s objectivity, which can reduce overall team morale and confidence in leadership.

Communication Barriers: Colleagues may hesitate to give feedback or communicate openly, worried that their words could be misinterpreted or relayed to the boss by a friend. This hesitation can limit transparency and damage psychological safety.

Blurred Boundaries: Boss-subordinate friendships can blur the line between personal and professional roles, creating discomfort or making it harder to set boundaries, especially during feedback or performance evaluations.

Reduced Team Cohesion: If the friendship results in behaviors like inside jokes or frequent one-on-one time, other team members may feel left out, which can hurt team cohesion and inclusivity.

Let me be clear—I am not advocating for fewer friendships in the workplace. Leaders should be mindful of friendships and consider counterbalancing measures to ensure everyone feels equally welcome on the team.?

By Mary Silva Doctor Co-Founder Realize