Friends vs Allies

“My ally is the Force, and a powerful ally it is.”?-Yoda

Dunbar’s Number: A suggested cognitive limit to the number of people with whom one can maintain stable social relationships in which an individual knows who each person is and how each person relates to every other person.

Friend: A person attached to another by feelings of affection or personal regard.

Ally: Someone associated through common cause with another to give assistance or support.?

In the 1990s British anthropologist Robin Dunbar found a correlation between primate brain size and average social group size. Utilizing this information he proposed that humans can comfortably maintain 150 stable relationships (meaningful contacts of varying degrees) based upon the human brain size. Brain structure limits the number of relationships one can effectively manage, and according to Dunbar, at 150 people, individual relationships breakdown.

Dunbar went on to explain that in addition to the 150 meaningful contacts, there were additional smaller social circles maintained by each individual including loved ones, good friends, and friends, as well as additional larger social circles which included acquaintances and people you recognize. Through most of an individual’s life people migrate within these social circles, and sometimes migrate in or out of their circle’s all together. The smaller the circle, the more meaningful the connection.

Many believe that when it comes to friends, the more the merrier. That life becomes easier in proportion to the number of friendships balanced. What Dunbar’s Number suggests is that less is not only more, less is all that is possible.

With only so much bandwidth for friendships, the next best thing to creating a life full of friends, is to instead create allies.

Why Allies Are Next Best to Friends

Purpose

Allies are bonded by a common cause or purpose, not by the fragility of sentiment.

Longevity

Aristotle noted that friendship, like fitness, is a disposition that must be maintained by activity, and that as the activity wanes, often so too does the friendship. Allies are often maintained solely through the common cause, giving them longevity.

Scope

While a few close friends is powerful, so too are vast numbers of allies. Allies may be maintained and added through the individual’s overall intent and actions, no personal relationship need exist. While the number of friends is limited by human brain capacity (Dunbar’s Number), the number of allies one may cultivate is unlimited.

“The person who has led a good life will find many allies.”?-Nachman of Breslov