A friendly reminder to reward yourself (& why you should care)

Last week I hosted the last training of the Massive Clarity Training series in my inclusive Facebook group. One of the topics I covered was The Importance of Rewarding Yourself.

I share this because I know rewarding yourself is often considered to be silly. But as silly as it sounds, it is a method that works. It is called positive reinforcement!

Positive reinforcement is a psychological concept which states that when behaviour is followed by a pleasant outcome, we are more likely to repeat that behaviour because we want to repeat this pleasant outcome.

Makes sense right?

For example, think of a situation when you were recognized and rewarded for your efforts... Did you feel good? Did you feel empowered to take on a bigger challenge?

I am sure you did, it is how we are wired.

However, when you are on a journey to achieve your next level of growth (whatever that may mean to you) or in the process of winning your personal battles, chances are there is no one clapping for you.

Even worse, you may have spent months of hard work on a project or deep work on yourself, but still... no one is recognizing your determination and efforts. And all of sudden you find yourself being dragged down by all sort of disempowering thoughts... 

“Nobody understands how hard I work”

"Why am I even doing this"

"Nobody cares about me"

If this is you, then it might be time to get honest with yourself. Do they even know? 

Because when you look objectively at yourself and your circumstances, you may come to the realization that it's simply impossible for them to know how hard you've been working.

Wake up, you are discouraging yourself

The problem when you seek for recognition outside of yourself is that you're unintentionally punishing yourself for doing something good. Instead of enjoying the positive emotions, you are now discouraging your best-self behaviour.

This concept is called negative punishment which states that when an expected pleasant outcome is removed from the situation, we are less likely to repeat that behaviour because we now believe that the behavior will not be followed by a pleasant outcome.

I share this because I know I'm not the only who false prey to 'fast thinking' like this. And I also know and have seen how you can get extraordinary gains in self-confidence and motivation just by rewarding yourself.

Take back the responsibility to take care of yourself

The only person who can and should reward you for your efforts is YOURSELF. Not only will you encourage your best-self behaviour, but you will also make it more likely (and easier) to repeat the behaviour and so to achieve your next levels of growth.

And just to remind you, one of the cardinal rules for behavioural change is the rate at which you perform your new/desired behaviour. It is the frequency that makes the difference!  

Repetition is the mother of skill

— Tony Robbins

Therefore consider this email as a friendly reminder to wake up from the illusion that other people should recognize your efforts and reward you for it. Rewarding yourself is not silly, projecting your lack of significance on others is. 

So do not miss out on the opportunity to take back the responsibility for taking care of YOURSELF, because you definitely deserve it and it will help you to continue playing your A-game.

Here you go, start today and make it a habit: 

I deserve to treat myself with [REWARD] because I [ACCOMPLISHMENT]. 

It can be as simple as going for a walk in the park, buying something cool for your office, booking a meal out with your partner, visiting a spa or binge-watching the latest season of Peaky Blinder on Netflix.

Whatever you choose, be intentional in what you do and why you do it!

Best wishes,  

Jord

PS: If you haven't joined my inclusive facebook group Personal Mastery with Jord Cuiper yet, feel free to become part of this group where I share my perspectives, strategies and tools to help you win your battles and build a bigger and more meaningful future.  

Footnote:

If you have any questions in regards to this article, feel free to reach out to me. Furthermore, I’m just a guy sharing his perspective based on my own experiences, along with the studies and work of believable professionals in the industry. I fully expect that I have made a mistake somewhere in this article, in referencing an idea or tool to the wrong person or not at all. I’ve no intention of taking false credits, so if there’s anything not aligned regarding referencing, please email me at [email protected]