A Friendly Note to Anyone Feeling Lonely: You’re Not Alone in Feeling Alone

by Lauro Amezcua-Patino, MD, FAPA

If you have opened this blog entry then it is likely that that lonesome feeling has just dropped in on you once more. Firstly, loneliness is rather like an uninvited guest at a party — it arrives unexpectedly and often overstays its welcome. The fact is that everyone gets lonely at some point, and yet loneliness is unique. It’s like your favorite pizza topping.

The Many Faces of Loneliness

Loneliness doesn’t come in one size fits all. Different people show it in different ways, sometimes in one gesture, one look. Most of the time, they wear such a bright face over their loneliness that we hardly realize how much pain is under there. Consider these scenarios:

Sam — A social butterfly, always surrounded by friends. Yet inside Sam feels a void, a lack of deep connections. Sam’s at a party but feels like he’s on a deserted island.

Ava- A remote worker who has moved to a new city. She loves her freedom but misses office life: coffee breaks and water cooler conversations with colleagues. Ava’s screen is her window onto the world, it feels like looking from a spaceship every time that she looks out.

Mr. Gonzalez retired recently. The days have become a long, silent torture. All his children are running off into different directions building their own future; now his old age feels like copper an not sterling silver.

Your Own Map of Emptiness

As an alternative to a GPS, loneliness doesn’t provide clear directions. However, there must be some trails as part of the terrain you can try:

Take up Unusual Hobbies — There are Conversation Starters Galore: Have you ever thought about underwater basket weaving? Or joining a gut-laughter yoga group to shake the blues away? Unique hobbies bring you plenty of things to talk with people about and provide an excuse to meet new friends.

Work as an unpaid volunteer: Go to a local dormitory, lend them some hands. It’s like hitting two birds with one stone — you do good, you feel good.

Motion is Lotion…: Dance like no-one is watching. Or you might take that Zumba class and dance as if everyone was watching (but nobody cared). Physical exercise is one of the best ways to lift those spirits.

Hello, Therapist? Sometimes you just have to unpack solitary feelings in the presence of someone who’s an expert on how to do so gracefully.

Hey there, Yes You — Here’s How You Can Help Others

Can you think of someone who’s feeling, just to put it mildly, woebegone?

Here’s your chance to play knight in shining armor (or not), but remember that it is up to A PERSON’S FRIEND TO SAVE THE DAY.

Mastering The Art of Listening Sometimes all we need is a pair of ears to listen and a heart that understands. The Gift of Time In a world where everyone’s time is taken up by work, giving yours can be the best present.

A simple walk, meal shared with friends or even a night playing a daffy game together can have magical effects. Surprise! You’re Invited Include them in your plans. They may not come to bingo night but the fact that they were invited is a bonus.

Regular Check-Ins A random text that simply says, “Hey, you’re awesome” or”I thought of you when I saw this funny cat meme. “ is often the thing that will turn your day around.

Wrapping It Up with a Bow of Quirkiness Loneliness is like a cloud, sometimes it’s just a tiny puff that pass quickly and other times is an overcast sky.

But remember, not every cloud comes without its silver lining (or rainbow). To those riding the lonely train, you can look out the window — there’s plenty of wonderful scenic spots to see and many stops along the way! As for the rest of us, let’s be the conductors on this journey.

So, you need to not only make connections, but also to realize that we’re (really) all in this together. Better for us would be if we listen more States and talk less at mindless length! But in a world that never sits still the only answer is to be with it and there for everything always happening. You are not the only one on this road. Let’s go together (just you and I).