Friendly, not friends

As a professional coach, I sometimes encounter clients who confuse the coach-client relationship with a friendship. While both relationships involve communication and trust, there are distinct differences between the two.

In fact, as a member of the EMCC (European Mentoring and Coaching Council) I follow the Global Code of Ethics and recently adapted my coaching contracts to explicitly state that coaching is not a friendship relationship.

According to the EMCC, coaching is a professional relationship that is focused on the client's goals and objectives.

My role is to facilitate the client's personal and professional growth by providing support, guidance, and feedback. In contrast, a friendship is a personal relationship that is based on mutual interests, shared experiences, and emotional support.

One of the key differences between coaching and friendship is the level of objectivity involved. A coach is expected to remain objective and non-judgmental, while a friend may have biases or personal agendas that can influence their advice or support. My best friend is wonderful and will be my greatest cheerleader, but she will always support me, and defend me but can I guarantee she would be impartial?

The EMCC Code of Ethics states that coaches should "maintain an impartial and non-judgmental approach," and "not impose their own values, beliefs, or interests onto the client."

Another difference between coaching and friendship is the boundaries that are established. In a friendship, there are often no clear boundaries, and the relationship may involve sharing personal information and experiences that are not relevant to the coaching process. In coaching, however, there are clear boundaries that are established to ensure that the relationship remains professional and focused on the client's goals.

The EMCC Code of Ethics states that coaches should "respect the client's autonomy and right to self-determination," and "not engage in any behaviour that could be perceived as exploitative, abusive, or coercive." These guidelines help to ensure that the coaching relationship is always based on the client's best interests and that the coach maintains appropriate boundaries at all times.

As a Coach I love the camaraderie of group coaching, the fun we have, the banter, etc but at the heart of this is building rapport, a wonderful skill that underpins the fabulous results I get from clients.

While it is important for coaches to establish a supportive and trusting relationship with their clients, it is equally important to remember that coaching is not a friendship. By maintaining clear boundaries, remaining objective, and focusing on the client's goals, coaches can help their clients achieve their full potential while upholding the highest ethical standards.

In conclusion, the Global Code of Ethics from the EMCC clearly defines the differences between coaching and friendship. As coaches, it is our responsibility to maintain a professional relationship with our clients that is focused on their goals and objectives. By doing so, we can help our clients achieve their full potential while upholding the highest ethical standards in our profession.

Becoming a Coaching Supervisor allows me to delve deeper into ethical boundaries, the language we use and behaviour, both from ourselves, and our clients. Supervision can iron out any niggles or doubts and encourage us to put boundaries in place and redefine boundaries throughout the coaching process.

If you are a Coach, looking for supervision do get in touch. I am starting a new ONLINE group coaching supervision in May and have available slots for both 121 and group supervision. You can express your interest using the link below.

https://forms.gle/zEcHoRoyTRp5eYvp9