Be the Friend You Need

I had a profoundly soothing conversation last week in the doctor's office. Ironically, the dialogue revolved around less-than-ideal news.?

The "new to me" peaceful feeling unfolded because this was my first time entering this environment in a friend mindset.?

So, how did this experience come to be???

Admittedly, I am a people-pleaser by nature. I try to help others feel comfortable, set them up for success, cheer them on and encourage them where possible, and enjoy watching them overcome obstacles and be happy.

However, I must admit that I haven't always extended the same grace to myself over the years. It's not that I haven't cared for myself enough to be relatively successful and healthy. But my self-care has been more reactive and practical—doing what I needed to get through the moment or situation. The internal voice that guided me was usually more of a grizzled coach than a bubbly cheerleader.? ? ?

So, these past couple of years, I've been?on a journey to become more present and mindful of my interactions with the world. This intentionality includes being more observant of how I analyze my thoughts, interpret my feelings, and express my inner voice.? ? ?

In my recent book, "30 Worthy Guides for Mapping Your Best Life," I expound on the value of welcoming new experiences and lessons.

Here are my takeaways from framing my visit as taking a loved one to see the doctor.? ??

Allow Candid Conversations

I cleared the palate, avoided drawing preconceived notions of discussion points and how we needed to proceed, and entered the environment with an exploratory mindset. Like a journalist, I wanted to observe all the data from an outsider's perspective—gathering all the facts so the story could tell itself. I didn't wish to let personal bias or fears truncate the conversation. It was more about listening so I could help my "friend."? ? ?

Practice Honest Listening

The purpose of the visit was to focus on actual health rather than pacifying my ego for comfort. Through the years, I've taken great pride in practicing discipline around the basics (exercise, diet, sleep) of personal health, and illness is rare for me. So, embracing that I'm not invincible to health burdens requires deeper understanding. And a big part of that is respectfully allowing my care team to educate me on the intricacies of the inner body.

Ultimately, the lessons learned?have broader applications in business environments where trepidation resides. Sometimes, our inner critic drives us to be so hyper-focused on "me" that we forget our supportive "friend" role. We want our external friends to succeed and be happy for a long time because we love and enjoy them. Why wouldn't we invest the same care in our internal friend? After all, that voice will always be there with you.??

P.S. My health is fine. The less-than-ideal news was about being put on a long-term preventative medicine regimen. ?? ? ? ? ? ??