Friend Fraud

You should seek friends that will make you feel like a fraud.

On a hump day, a friend texted out of the blue and asked if he could crash at my place for a night after missing a connecting flight.?

He arrives and immediately starts sharing stories. As he goes deeper into his updates, I notice an uncomfortable feeling. I begin to feel uncomfortable hearing my friend.?

In the past, I had noticed this feeling with the same friend but had ignored it and let it pass.?

The feeling I felt was as if I was a fraud.?

Let me give you some examples of why I felt like a fraud.?

• He bought three boats and was sharing how he is fixing the engines for a profit.?
• He purchased a side property and was remodeling the floor?
• He set his car breaks?
• All the above, while running his own medical sales company?

Meanwhile, to drive the knife deeper into the wound, the first thing he said after using my bathroom:

• "You still have not fixed that toilet, huh?"

Bastard.??

The reasons he rattles my cage and makes me feel like fraud are:

• I don't understand how most things I interact thought without my day's work
• When something breaks, I delegate the fixing to someone else by default
• I accept damaged items and delay getting them fixed

This time, though, I decided to wake up earlier, head to a coffee shop, and reflect on it rather than ignore the thought I'd repeatedly made.?

Here are some of my insights:

• I don't want to learn how to fix cars, boats, or houses (I may YouTube my way into fixing my toilet)
• It is not that I envy my friend; it is more that I can relate to the underlying code
• Not following the code is what makes me feel like a fraud

My interpretation of his code is a dedication to self-improvement.?

Interestingly, by accepting that my friend is a self-sufficient badass, I am not (yet); I felt less like a fraud.?

It is easy to seek friends with the same views who agree with you and are on similar career paths.?

Sometimes, we are guilty of slowly pushing away friends that shake our core, challenge us, and make us feel uncomfortable.?

I've felt this way about this specific friend, but I am glad I didn't, and he didn't (we both have flaws); instead, we supported each other and learned to understand and communicate better.?

A point reinforced: seek those friends that shake you to the core and make you feel like a fraud.?

Awareness is the first step towards growth.?