Friday Tips and Tools #3

Hi friends,?

I spoke about relatedness in the last Professional Closeness Digest–how building a connected culture is crucial if you want motivated teams that share, collaborate, and innovate.?

Some of your comments and emails included super thought-provoking insights about emotional intelligence, which is why EQ and empathy have been at the top of my mind this week.

Here’s what I’ve been thinking about in particular: emotional intelligence plays a huge role in how you lead, but not everyone knows that it’s learnable. If you hope to become a more influential, inspiring, and valuable resource to your team, here are some tips and tools you’ll love.?

What I’m Reading

How To Lead With Empathy .?

Our TTGG behavioral specialist Nicolien Dellensen has made a career out of helping leaders increase their impact through stronger communication and influence . In this blog, she gives a fascinating overview of how empathy can play a huge role in the quality of the connections you make.?

Nicolien explains how you can make them feel safer, more respected, and more willing to cooperate with you by putting yourself in their shoes, with practical tips to help you get into a more empathetic mindset at work. You’ll learn how to give better feedback by complimenting others, among other things; plus, the blog includes downloadable “appreciation cards” that you can print and use with your teammates.

What I’m Listening To

First Person Plural: EI and Beyond

Daniel Goleman’s name is often synonymous with the EQ concept, and he has authored numerous books on the topic in addition to his pioneering work: Emotional Intelligence. He joins Key Step Media founder Hanuman Goleman and coach Elizabeth Solomon in this highly-rated podcast, in which they talk to various expert guests about topics such as conflict management , attention, motivation, and self-awareness.?

The three episodes on Attention and Focus are a good place to start, in my opinion, if you’re looking to understand just how game-changing EQ skills can be in a hectic workplace or environment.

Tool I’m Using [FREE PDF]

Listening With Empathy .?

Do your teammates feel respected, heard, and understood when they talk to you? If you feel like you could be a little stronger in this area, active empathetic listening is a key skill to learn.?

This tool outlines the three key behaviors involved in this “We” or “Togetherness” influencing style: Recognizing, Processing, and Responding, and shows you how to put it into practice. If you’re keen to start implementing your new style straight away, you’ll find a handy checklist of tips such as Make eye contact, Focus your attention on your conversation partner, and more.

Quote I’m Loving

“When dealing with people, remember you are not dealing with creatures of logic, but with creatures of emotion.”?

• Dale Carnegie

Reflection I’m Pondering

“What relationship do I have with my emotions?” I often tell my executive coaching clients that we humans have four basic emotions: fear, anger, joy, and grief. Understanding whether you have a strong or weak relationship with each allows you to understand your behaviors and decisions better so that you can be more in control of your actions when you’re feeling a certain way.?

If you’re a coaching leader, this question is a good way to help others build their emotional awareness. To take it to the next level, ask yourself or your coachees how they feel when they encounter these emotions in others.?

I hope these resources serve you well, and as always, I’m here to answer all of your questions personally through direct message.

— Govert