Friday Thoughts: Pause/Reflect

Friday Thoughts: Pause/Reflect

Happy Friday! Do you find yourself waiting for something to validate your daily efforts, hard work, and dedication? e.g., "I can’t wait until Friday!”, “I can’t wait for my kids to grow up” Or “Once I get this promotion, etc."? These are not wrong statements, but if you get deep into the thoughts of these statements, you may find that you are possibly hoping for the solace of the future versus enjoying the moments in between.

Part of enjoying the now and the future involves preparation. Planning and forecasting are essential for productivity and success, but balance helps the process. This week as I was reading chapter four (Set Aside Time to Reflect) of How Successful People Grow: 15 Ways to Get Ahead in Life by John C. Maxwell, I pondered on the title, Pausing and Reflecting.

Long ago, I remember driving home from a store visit and not remembering the drive in between because I was so heavy in thought. How often do we miss the big picture in our lives? If we are honest, probably more times than we care to mention. And the fact remains that we may not even remember. This example demonstrates why pausing and reflecting are so important.

I usually do an annual self-inventory through my top five connections. I ask them a variation of questions that range from:

·????????What is one opportunity that you think I need to work on or focus on in my future?

·????????What is one goal or advancement you have seen in the past year?

·????????What piece of advice or observation can you share with me to make me better?

I know someone out there is like, “Whoa, I am not sure I even want the answers to those questions." Trust me! I understand because, over the years, the responses have not always been peachy. For many years some of the answers were unanimous. From "Slow down Neffie (speaking or working)," “You look tired, get some rest," or "Make sure you spend as much time with your children while they are little." Man, oh man, out of the three, that last one stung! But the beauty is it gave me a perspective that I could not see. When you are in the picture, often you cannot see the frame.

Guess what happened? I paused, reflected, slowed down, and placed my daily duties in The Priority Quadrant; using the 4-quadrant method helped me balance better. I began to monitor my sleeping patterns; I did not realize I was a bit of a vampire; I made sure I also had quiet time and practiced better self-care. And my response to the hard-hitting statements about family time was to speak to the sources. My family expressed that quality versus quantity was also important. Maxwell suggests answering some personal awareness questions to help guide you on the reflection journey in the book. Here are several of my favorites:

·????????What is my biggest asset?

·????????What is my [most significant]liability?

·????????What is my highest high?

·????????What is my lowest low?

·????????What is my best habit?

·????????What is my worst habit?

The question about habits reminds me of one of my favorite quotes:

“Watch your thoughts, they become your words; watch your words, they become your actions; watch your actions, they become your habits; watch your habits, they become your character; watch your character, it becomes your destiny.”

― Lao Tzu

Why does all this matter, well, we all have room for improvement, but we all have different ways of seeking out and implementing change in our lives. In this week's reading, I learned that with the law of awareness, “you must first know yourself to grow yourself." No one can change for you; you must tap into your self-awareness to accept change and improvements. If you receive this call to action as I did, be sure to schedule the reflection time (many apps can assist), take your vacation time (many people do reflection best on a "vay" or "staycation"), and stay the course.

To grow, you have to pause……. sometimes small pauses, occasionally big ones, but ultimately you have to stay still long enough to tune into your senses, really feel, breath, reflect and guess what happens? GROWTH. You are in the driver’s seat, put your goals and dreams in the GPS, and soon you will arrive at the destination as long as you stay the course.

From my Tribe called “Nef” to yours! Remember time is limited and family is important. Reminds me of Cat's In The Cradle - Cheers to pausing, reflecting, and living! ?

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