Friday Love Roundup For Your Relationship
Gemma Nice ??
I help you to have intimate, healthy relationships through communication, trust and intimacy. Multi Award-winning sex and relationship coach for high-achieving women.
Join Me, Gemma every Friday for a roundup for the relationship you have with yourself, Plus FREEBIES!!
Have you ever thought about why you can’t have the big ‘O’?
When you are in the moment and really enjoying it but you are concentrating to hard that you are nearly there but really quickly fades away? Yes I get you and so does my client Jade.
She was experiencing this for a few months so we delve into the whys and I am sharing this with you here.
First one was that she was always in her head and not really enjoying the feelings right there in that moment.
She didn’t feel relaxed.
That’s the main thing here, being relaxed and letting you feel, is the first way you will be able to have that big ‘O’.
Let your partner or you for that matter, explore your own body.
Let tongues wander, hands brush over ni**ples and really feel into it.
Let go of the pressure you are putting on yourself.
In recent years the trust seems to have gone from most relationships due to the attachment styles we associate with a relationship within ourselves.
If the fearful style is where you are right now, you will start to have lack of trust and feel insecure and self-isolation so you will go inward.
Now I might be barking up the wrong tree here and correct me if I’m wrong but ever since the pandemic more and more people are shying away from each other.
We as a human race or mammal are group mammals. We share and like to be in a group setting. Well, most of us do anyway.
But since covid where we weren’t allowed to see anyone else and be with anyone else, there has been a huge rise in lack of self-compassion and feelings of not being good enough.
All this stems from the way we have been spoken to by the higher powers that be.
But going back to you as a couple, tell me or send me a DM if this feels like you. Before covid you were outgoing, happy go lucky kind of gal but now you are withdrawn, unsociable and just want to be at home?
This can affect the way you are with your partner both with intimacy, trust and of course communication.
More and more is coming out now about the pandemic and it’s up to you what you believe but is this affecting the relationship with yourself. With the trust you have around others. With the intimacy you have around your partner?
The more you are withdrawn in your inner being, the more you are withdrawing from your relationship.
Talk to your partner about it and let them in. Let them know your feelings. Or send me a DM, I’m always here to chat and be here for you.
Jenny wanted to try something new and bring more spice into her relationship.
The $ex was amazing, but she just wasn’t feeling it when it came to her satisfaction.
She loved everything about her partner, and he always doted on her.
But there was the one part of her $exual experience which was missing.
She always wanted to try with other women to see what it would be like.
As we started working together, it was apparent that this went deeper into her childhood and the wants and needs, and she desired just weren’t there when she was growing up.
As we worked, we found that she needed to set boundaries and asked her partner could they explore more in a non-monogamous way. He agreed and they set out clear boundaries.
But what went wrong here was that she had forgotten her boundaries when they were in the moment. This left them both feeling disappointed and not $exually satisfied.
So, there we explored deeper in the whys, more was coming to the surface.?
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She had been cheated on by a previous partner and this all came up.
You must work on yourself before adding in another person.
Once we had worked out what was needed and after working together for 3 months, they both were happy with their $exual desires and boundaries.
Are you in this space right now? Send me a DM and we’ll get you out of it together. ?
Lucy - "My lower back really hurts which is affecting my work but also my relationship"
Me - "What chair do you have at work?"
Lucy - "A swivel chair without any support"
This was my client last week. Did you know that if you have any pain in your body, you will mostly ignore it and carry on doing your normal things. Maybe popping a few pain killers but not really listening to your body.
Now if you are in pain, it's also going to affect your $exual relationship because you don't want to have $ex because you are in pain. So how do you eliminate this? If you are in the office or WFH, make sure you stand up at least every 20 minutes or so and do a couple of stretches.
Do some standing side bends, back bends, forward folds to release the lower back and pelvis. Get the blood flow moving and your muscles working. This then starts to release endorphins, making your feel calm and happy. When you have released and you start to feel better, it'll make you feel better within yourself.
In effect getting rid of the pain, makes it easier for you to get a little bit fruity with your partner. If you know me, you'll know that I hate the fact that doctors will just give you meditation for the sake of it and not eliminate the actual root cause. It's knowing what the root cause is and trying to start from there. A bit of trial and error.
I've just launched Employee Wellbeing Solutions which goes deep into the stretching. Link is below.
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Remember I am always available for a coffee chat to see how we can work together.
New EasYoga Podcast Episode 177 - Join Gemma in this episode where she talks to special guest Imogen Hg-Johnson
Imogen is the founder of ‘People of Worth Counselling and Psychotherapy’. She is a highly experienced psychotherapist for individuals and couples; she is passionate about the efficacy of her work.
She empowers and inspires individuals to stop secretly struggling, and to start living in alignment within themselves, ‘Feeling Free To Be Themselves authentically’ through a journey of returning home. Imogen supports clients and ‘couples’ who have experienced trauma in its many facets, resulting in a disconnect from their authentic self; manifesting in for some, ‘addictive’ behaviours, with a dual diagnosis of Narcissistic Personality Disorder, one sub-type of the broader category known as personality disorder.
Listen Here https://link.chtbl.com/BUafvby8
Until next week, happy humping and see you soon.
Lots of Love Gemma xxx